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Everyone Needs to Listen to This Young Woman

I came across this Ted Talk today, sidetracked again, don’t you love how the internet does that to a person?

I chastise myself for “wasting time”. I was trying to wade through my outlook inbox and there was a notification of a post from another site. The title was too good to just “delete” so I read the post and then I had to read the comments and in the comments was a link………..to the woman who put a smile on my face today and who inspired me to be the best me I can be, for another day. Hardly something I can call wasting time.

I found myself leaning forward, into my laptop screen, listening intently to her every word, noting her facial expressions, hand gestures and  youthful enthusiasm. I noticed I was smiling and nodding my head in agreement and found myself wanting to email it to every young person I know, even some I don’t and …… even some not so young.

I don’t know how this relates to narcissism, it must in some way because narcissists affect every aspect of our life in some way. No matter if you are in a relationship with one, had your heart-broken by one, was parented by one or live next door to one, maybe you don’t even know you are being affected by one………… but you are. It is part of life, always has been; you just didn’t know what it was, didn’t have the name to call it, but narcissism is not new, it has been around as long as ……….. well ………….. as long as people have walked this earth, we just didn’t know what to call them. Or we didn’t talk about them because we were ashamed or whatever.

ANYWAY, there I go, off on a tangent, way off course.

Here is the link, Sarah Kay, If I have a daughter , go put a smile on your face, be inspired, and have a great day!! The greatest narc repellent, is a positive outlook on the world and ourselves. The best salve for a wound inflicted by a narc is self acceptance and a belief that we are right where we are meant to be at this very moment and life is a huge adventure with twists and turns but things do tend to work out somehow; as long as we don’t let the assholes in the world cloud our vision and we don’t believe the lies they try to stuff down our throats.

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What a Narcissist Needs… Self-Acceptance is both the Problem and the Solution

Carrie Reimer:

I love love love this post. I had to force myself to not overthink it. I know one truth for myself that has helped me the most in my healing, Self acceptance. I always had confidence, I was strong, decisive, “in control” of my emotions and my life. It was not until I was trying to heal from the wospos that I realized there is a huge difference between confidence and self acceptance and it is in self acceptance that I have found inner peace. Not perfection, not knowing everything all the time, not making the best decisions all the time but the acceptance that I won’t always make the right decisions, that I will make mistakes and that I am only human and that is ok. That is where I found peace.

Originally posted on An Upturned Soul:

Own it

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“When you accept yourself and all your flaws, you don’t particularly need to focus on self-esteem per se. You focus, instead, on being as good as possible at what you actually do. You may have a positive sense of self, but you don’t blow your sense of self-importance up out of proportion.  If you make a mistake, or if someone criticizes you, it’s not the end of the world. You’re the first one to admit that you’re not perfect and you know that there will be days that don’t work out quite the way you’d have liked.” – Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., What a Narcissist Needs is More, not Less, Self Love.

I have to confess that the only reason I chose to read the article – What a Narcissist Needs is More, not Less, Self Love – is because I found the title irritating, especially the first…

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I Am Back and Slowly Wading Through the Comments and Emails

Today is my first day that I actually feel like I am going to live. I was literally flat out sick in bed or on the couch for a solid week. I don’t remember being this sick in many years, even my heart attacks didn’t lay me out like this. I am not sure if I broke or fractured a rib from the coughing but it’s been a week now and although I am still very tender I am at least able to sit at the computer for a period of time. All of last week I was propped up with pillows dreading a coughing fit. I can’t even think about it without cringing. I never want to be that sick again. At one point I drove myself to emergency because I was so sick and in so much pain but there was a 2 hour wait and I ended up driving home because I couldn’t stand sitting in a chair in the waiting room. Two days later my mom came and drove me to the doctor who gave me really strong antibiotics and I have steadily gotten better since. I think I was through the worst of it by then any way.  but the antibiotics will certainly help to keep me on the healing journey and keep me from having a relapse.

I spent days drifting in and out of consciousness with a raging fever, poor Stella laying by my side and never once asking to go out for more than a quick pee or poo and then coming right back in. Thank God for that kennel that Colin made Kato and Laila when I first moved in. Thank god I was able to get to the grocery store before it hit me full force and i was able to get some apple juice because that was all I ate for several days.

As is common with a high fever I was plagued with horrible nightmares for a couple of nights that have left me with a fear of the dark and being alone that still haunts me now. I have never been afraid at night but these nightmares had me in full blown panic mode and tears. it was horrible. I don’t recall ever being that afraid either. I will write more about the nightmares more in another post, right now I an just writing to say I am back and working through my emails and all the comments on here as best I can and trying to get back on track so please be patient for a little while longer.

right now I am going  back to bed to get a good nights sleep and will hopefully feel that much better tomorrow.

I have missed you all and look forward to catching up with everyone soon.


Insane Courage is What Saved My Life

Originally posted on Picking Up the Pieces:

“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.” — Benjamin Mee, We Bought a Zoo: The Amazing True Story of a Young Family, a Broken Down Zoo, and the 200 Wild Animals That Change Their Lives Forever

As former victims of abuse, we all faced the impossible battle waged in our hearts and minds, caught in the middle of an epic struggle between our need to survive and be free and the fear that has been in many cases savagely pounded into us. It is a desperate position to be in, held in limbo of an emotional connection to the abuser even as it is being pitted against you to keep you caught in their deadly grasp but knowing deep inside it has to stop. No one’s ability…

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