SpyWare On Your Cell Phone Is Cheaper and Easier Than You Think

I happened upon this website today while searching for something else and it is damn scary!!

I knew James hacked into my phone a couple of years ago but I could never prove it and I knew a lot people didn’t really believe me. Now I have found the website where you can buy the app. and it only costs $27 and you can hack into anyone’s phone from any distance, any country, and there is no way they can detect it or trace anything back to you.

All you have to do is call their number, they don’t even have to answer and you are hooked up to their phone. Your phone beeps whenever they receive or make a call or text. You have access to all their contacts, photos, text messages, anything they have stored on their phone. PLUS even when they are not using their phone you can turn their phone on and us it as a bugging device to hear all their conversations, if their phone has GPS you can track where they are at all times.

THAT my dear friends is scary!! all for a mere $27 dollars. Here is the website, go have a look for yourself.


Be very careful about what you say, type and store on your cell phone! narcissists/psychopaths are all over this kind of stalking. I don’t mean to scare you but the damage they  can do is immeasurable, take it from someone who knows.

I Am Giddy!! The Blog Broke All Records

After I wrote that letter and Monday came around and it had the desired effect and people were being so nice to me I felt like something shifted. I have had inner peace about how I live my life, but I obviously was still hesitant to stand up for myself and the wounds were fresh enough still from James that my wounds bled when the scab was ripped off.

But Tuesday I woke up with no pains, refreshed, lighter, freer, and more confident and just more at peace. Then the neighbor offered to keep stella if I ever needed extended care for her and I had just been worried about what to do with her the night before. There was nothing earth shattering that happened just little coincidence? karma at work, laws of attraction? who knows but I felt more myself than I have in many years.

One thing that should not be noteworthy but is;

I want to live, I don’t want to die and I care about whether I die or not. I know that sounds depressing or morbid but there was a time not that long ago that I wanted to die in the worst way, then I decided to live but I was not real happy about it and if I was in an accident and happened to die, it was fine by me. Then I got to the point where I was excited about life, didn’t want to die but if I did I was content to go. But this week I really want to live! I am excited about the future and eager to take some chances and throw caution to the wind and let life take me wherever it decides I need to go.

I went to visit a friend in Mission last might, dropped off some stuff at my brother’s and gave him a hug and said I love you because he is going to be out on his boat alone for a month with his two dogs. He said I looked great!! and I felt great. When I got home I went on the blog and as usual I checked my stats for the day and had to take a double take. I checked to make sure I was on the right blog (like how would I get into anyone else’s?) I had the most hits I have ever had yesterday by A LOT!

My best day was almost two years ago and it was the day I reblogged someone else’s post so I have a hard time taking credit for that; I got around 3700 hits. I average between 1500 and 2000 hits a day normally and yesterday I got 5185!! My Law Of Attraction post got over 3200 hits alone!! Rather interesting seeing as just the other night I looked at my  stats and thought, ‘I wonder what it will take to break my last best day? I am happy with the traffic I get but it would just be nice to get the thrill of breaking a personal record again!

and BOOM !! it happens. haha!! too cool!!

Law Of Attraction Is Powerful – Don’t Make The Same Mistake I Did

ice and fireBe careful what you think about, it just might manifest itself! and when I say “mistake” I am not saying I am sorry it turned out the way it did really, I just would have worked more on improving MY life and not thought about him at all. But what is done is done and I shall pass it along in hopes you learn from my err of judgment.

This post is about how I accidentally manifested the other woman for my then narcissistic partner.

I didn’t know I was doing it, manifesting I mean; I was actually trying to make myself feel better. Telling myself that it would impossible for my ex to ever find the type of woman he needed to be happy.

After years of never jumping high enough, dancing fast enough, giving enough blow jobs, always being told I created drama and we all know how much the narcissist hates conflict! Him sabotaging my jobs yet going on rants and rages about how much money I was costing him. Sabotaging my truck and then complaining bitterly about having to rescue me when my truck broke down. Him literally refusing to buy food and me having to eat porridge for a week while he ate out everyday and brought take out home for himself or handed me a take out container with the left overs of his burger in it and expect me to be thankful that he “bought me supper”. No, you just handed me your garbage, I would rather starve than eat your soggy French fries. Then we would finally get groceries and I would make supper and he would go on and on about how it was about time I cooked a decent meal!

When he would go on one of his rants about how ungrateful I was and it was “over” he had had enough of “this” I would console myself with thoughts of exactly what kind of woman would make him happy.

For one thing she would have to have enough money to keep him in the life style he wanted to live and carry him whenever he got fired, which was every few months BUT she would have to be independently wealthy because he would not want her working. He was younger than me, so only 45 at the time, not so easy to find a financially independent woman at that age who doesn’t need to work.

But even if he did manage to find one she had better not have children because he would not like sharing her attention with kids and there really should not be an ex husband either because that would just be one more person occupying her time. While we are at it, it would be best if she didn’t have pets either because James always bitched that I loved Kato (my dog) more than him, and cooked the dog better meals. (I knew the dog would be home for supper.)

She would have to have been raised by wolves or in a convent because she would have to be very naïve and gullible to put up with the 2nd On-line life he led. She could not be an independent strong woman, which is getting harder to find these days; she would have to be a woman who loved to cater to a man and put herself last and she would have to not have any needs, desires, or dreams of her own and live only to please him.
By the time I would go through the whole list of prerequisites any woman would have to possess to be with him I was confident;  he would never find a woman better than me.

I spent a lot of time thinking about this imaginary woman and by the time I left him I was fairly confident he would not be finding a woman to take my place any time soon. After all, he had been fired for stealing again, owned nothing, not a stick of furniture, nothing. Did not have a dime and drove an old car with a broken windshield that was actually in MY name.  He was a slob who showered rarely and always looked like he rolled in something that didn’t smell good. Who would want him? Why did I want him? I didn’t, I told myself. He will regret the day he lost me, I was sure of that. No other woman would put up with what I had, no woman!!

Quite by accident one day while searching the net to see if he had posted those videos he had secretly taped of us having sex, I came across his blog. He even stated in his blog that he was going to pick 10 women on Plenty Of Fish and by process of elimination narrow it down to 2 or 3 and then see which one worked the hardest to get him. How cocky of him!! I still consoled myself with thoughts of the this nonexistence woman he would have to find to be happy.

He wrote about these women who took him out for supper and then went home with him and screwed his brains out. What was wrong with these women? Did they have no pride? But they all worked, they had kids, they had ex husbands.

I hate to admit it but I was still seeing him at least once a week, not having sex with him and not allowing him to come to where I lived but seeing him none the less. We had been for dinner one night (yes I bought him dinner at our favorite Chinese restaurant, shoot me!) he was very loving and walked me to my truck, kissed me good night and said he loved me. He was supposed to be leaving the province in a week or two for a job and I was looking forward to him being out of sight out of mind.

The next day the police called to see if I knew where my car was because it was parked on the corner of such a such street with the keys in it. The cop told me he had seen it parked there many times and they were not going to tow it, they just wanted to make sure I knew where it was. Strange.

I went up and discovered he was seeing a married woman, long story short I almost drove over him with my truck but got my wits about me in time. I was shattered again. The next day he took great pleasure in telling me that he had moved in with the “love of his life” and it was not the married woman. He had left her house and driven straight to another woman’s house and broke down in her driveway and was now living there.

He could barely contain his glee as he told me all about her. First thing he said was, “She’s a widow.” Well no, that is not the very first thing he said. he started the conversation by saying he was now semi-retired. THEN he said she was a widow, and the exact same age as him, their birthdays were 2 weeks apart. He went on, she owned her home, rented out the top half and living in the bottom half. He was driving her brand new Honda Pilot, she owned holiday property on a west coast island, she didn’t have children, didn’t have pets, had never worked and always been a house wife, she had a very sheltered upbringing and was very naïve. When he was late she cooked supper and left it wrapped in cellophane on the counter for him. She was frugal and still owned her first set of pots and pans (like I give a damn!)

As he listed off all her qualities like listing off the features of a home you want to buy, 3 bedrooms, 2 and 1/2 baths and easy to maintain, move in ready!

And that is what he did, she got a ride to his place (he was driving her Pilot so had to get her niece to drive her) and packed him up, cleaned the place and moved him in within the first week. Within the first 6 weeks she had lent him $20,000 and he was talking about how HIS shop at the house was too small and he wanted to move. By the 2nd year she had sold her house, bought a home 9 hours drive from all her friends and family  and he had bought a truck, Harley, 10 ton truck, semi, and God only knows how many guitars. She is not the most attractive woman and I am sure he has made her feel damn lucky to have a good looking rebel without a cause like him.

And he has me to thank for it all. I manifested the whole damn thing!! SO, if you are sitting there obsessing about how happy your ex is, how he is doing everything for the new woman that you ever wanted and more! and dwelling how your life sucks and you will never find happiness….. STOP, just stop it right now!!  Quit giving him your power!! If you insist on thinking about him at least envision him treating her as badly as he treated you, picture her waiting at home for a phone call or texting and him not replying. picture her crying and him screaming at her that is he is “Sick of THIS! all you do is cry and create conflict!!” it is much closer to the truth and why attract anything good into his life by thinking about it!

This is you, without the narcissist sucking you dry. hold this thought!

This is you, without the narcissist sucking you dry. hold this thought!

I want you to envision yourself being wined and dined and appreciated by a good intentioned man who respects you. Picture money flowing freely to you from all areas, envision being vibrant, healthy, full of life and laughter. Don’t give up! it won’t be easy at first, you have to work at it until it becomes a habit. You can do this!!!

Even if you don’t believe in the laws of attraction, thinking about him being happy is making you miserable so you have nothing to lose by giving it a try!

Come on, for me, just try it.

How I Turned Conflict Into A Positive Experience

I know, what you are thinking. “How could conflict ever be positive?” I have always felt the same way myself but I am an Aries and push come to shove I could be provoked. But with James I tried to avoid conflict at all costs, even at the cost of my health.

I am not going to go into the whole story because it is far too long but this week I learned another valuable lesson and I am going to share it with you.

There is a woman here, well several women (women can be so catty can’t they? I always get along better with men it seems and that pisses off the catty women even more) who rule the dock and have not especially liked me right from the start. If you recall when I first moved in one of the women didn’t like that a single woman moved in across from her because she worked nights and thought her hubby might sleep walk into my bed, so she filed a complaint about Stella barking. I let it go, didn’t want to create conflict by confronting her on it, failing to see that it would not have been me creating conflict but her because she filed the bogus complaint.

Well, I have butted heads with another one of the clique over my dog not being on a leash. I have tried to appease them and kept Stella on a leash until we are off the dock but it has not been enough. One of the women has a dog that she doesn’t keep on a leash and the bitch (excuse my language but it is going to get worse as the post goes on so if swearing offends you stop reading now) had the audacity to say, “If you don’t keep Stella on a leash we will all have to keep our dogs on a leash.”

I looked at her in astonishment and blinked, “Do you even listen to yourself speak?” I laughed and said, “I am not getting into this with you today.” and walked away.

I knew I had started a feud but I can not stand stupid people who say things that don’t even make sense. I did try to accommodate her but it never failed that whenever Stella was off leash this bitch saw her.

The other thing that started was:

The women started asking me what I was hauling down and up from the boat. As you know I make money by fixing things up, selling the odd thing I get in scrap and my painted stuff and lately I was selling stuff from my mother’s basement. Stuff my step dad had kept for the boat he was some day going to rebuild and never did. I sold everything to people who live at the dock and I donated what I had left to a bunch of young people who formed a nonprofit to research the island of plastic in the Pacific. They were fixing their boat getting ready for an expedition. (side note* I had this feeling I should ask them if they needed a depth sounder. I had a 30 year old one, totally out of date and useless but this tiny voice kept saying “Ask them” so I did. They lit up, their depth sounder had been acting up. I told them it was right here in the car and pulled it out. it was exactly the same as theirs! I gave it to them. They were thrilled!!! I also gave them a big fishing net and down rigger for fishing and they couldn’t thank me enough. The look on their faces was enough thanks for me).

The husband of one of the women cut me off one day as I walked past with a wheelbarrow full of my groceries, got right in my face and asked what was in the wheelbarrow.
I sighed, looked him in the eyes, “My groceries.” and went to walk passed but he stood in my way.
“Groceries eh? you sure haul a lot of stuff down to your boat.”
Me: “Yes I do, do you have a problem with that?”

He looked in the wheelbarrow and could tell all I had was groceries.
I said, “If you are wondering what I hauled up to my car earlier, it was saw horse ends that I found while walking Stella, there was a pallet of them with a sign that said, “Free Help Yourself” so I called my son who happens to be in construction and asked if he wanted some. He said sure. So I went and loaded a bunch of them into my car and brought them here. I wasn’t going to see him for a couple of weeks so I hauled them all the way down to my boat. Now I am going to see him tomorrow so I hauled them back up to my car. What a good mom I am eh?
I went on “and his favorite supper is Shepperd’s Pie and he hasn’t been feeling well so I promised I would bring his favorite supper, soooooooo I went and bought GROCERIES” and I pointed at the wheelbarrow. “so I could do that. What a good mom I am eh?” and he nodded his head.
I said, “Excuse me” and went to my boat quietly simmering. The nerve!! I calmed myself down and let it go.

I was unloading the car after coming back from my son’s when the same jerk came up and started rummaging through the wheelbarrow pulling stuff out and looking at it.
Me: “That is MY stuff.”
I had done some landscaping while at my son’s and was unloading my gardening tools, he grabbed a brand new edging tool I had bought a few days earlier and said, “This looks brand new.”
I said, “It should, I just bought it.”
Then he starts looking through my trunk. I was getting very annoyed and said, “I understand that some people are suspicious of what I take down to the boat and I don’t owe any one an explanation but I will tell you and I proceeded to tell him my situation as briefly as possible. About how I make some extra money by painting things etc. Then his wife called him to come and he obeyed.

My gut was telling me there was big trouble brewing but what was I to do?

Within two days, last Friday to be exact; my brother received a formal complaint, not just about Stella being off leash but accusing me of selling stolen property, saying the traffic of undesirables coming and going from my boat at all hours day and night “could” be responsible for recent thefts from boats and at the very least was disturbing my neighbors and if it continued they would have to terminate his lease. Of course he knew it was all bullshit (now is when the swearing really getting started) but he phoned me to see what the hell was going on. I told him I have had one visitor since I moved in and that was our mom. He had already told the woman in the office that the stuff I was selling was from our step dad. He said he understood the dog being off leash, he said, “If anyone ever tells me I have to put my dogs on a leash I tell them to go Fuck Themselves. but maybe you will have to keep her on leash while she is on the dock to appease them.”
I told him I have and filled him in on what had been going on with this one bitch and her team of supporters. He said to let it go, it was Friday, not to worry about it and talk to the office Monday, he said whatever you do don’t confront anyone this weekend.

He called back to say, “If you do decide you can’t handle it and just have to throw the bitch in the river, give me a heads up so I can find a place to move the boat.” Gotta love my little bro’

I was very upset though, VERY. I immediately felt powerless, I was feeling like I had done something wrong but knew I hadn’t, I was feeling victimized again. And everyone, even the ones not involved in the complaint knew what had happened and were uncomfortable. It was so reminiscent of James I felt somehow he must be responsible, even though logic told me there was no way. I was amazed at how quickly I reverted to victim mode.

My son called to tell me how much he had enjoyed the night I came up for supper and how we had some really good laughs and he just wanted me to know he had really enjoyed our time together and he loved me. It was just what I needed to hear. Then he asked how I was doing and I told him. While I was telling him I started to cry. He said, “Please don’t cry mom, don’t let the bastards get you down.”

I tried to explain what I was feeling, “James took everything from me but as hard as he tried he couldn’t take my good reputation. No matter what, I have managed to always hang onto that and to have that jeopardized by a bunch of petty bitches is so unfair.”

He said, “Mom do you remember what you said to me years ago when I was being picked on at school and wanted to change schools?” I said no I didn’t.

“You told me that I could switch schools but that there would always be assholes in the world no matter where I went and I was going to have to learn to deal with them because there is no running away from them. They are every where.

Go tell them to keep their fucking mouths shut and if they don’t I am only 2 hours away and I will come down there and throw the bitch in the river. No one makes my mom cry!”

I had to laugh through my tears, “I appreciate the sentiment honey but you don’t have to do that. I was a pretty smart mom years ago. I can deal with it.”

We talked a bit longer and I laughed when, before he got off the phone he said, “Remember mom I’m only 2 hours away. I was the one who was supposed to be living on the boat, if I was living there I would have the music blasting every night and my dog would NOT be on a leash, I don’t even own a fucking leash and if anyone told me to put her on a fucking leash I would tell them to Go Fuck Themselves!! and if anyone dug through my stuff I would punch them in the head! they don’t know how lucky they are.”

I got off the phone and thought about it and he was right. If I was a man that guy would not have gotten away with what he did, for one thing he probably would not have even tried it for fear of getting punched in the head. But he felt like the big man intimidating a woman. They had all treated me with disrespect repeatedly and I had taken it. And now it was stealing my peace of mind and I was allowing it because I didn’t want to look like a bitch and I was trying to avoid conflict when I was NOT the one causing conflict, THEY were causing conflict and they had no problem with it.

I had shoulder pains all night,(for months before I had heart failure and just before my first heart attack I had what I thought was a knotted muscle behind my right shoulder blade, but in fact it was my heart) my heart was beating so hard when I went to bed that night my whole body shook with every beat. I thought I was going to have a heart attack for sure. The next day I wrote a 7 page letter to the “instigators of the witch hunt” and dropped it off to who I thought was the leader of the pack and said, “Now keep your fucking mouth shut.”
She jumped up and said, “Are you threatening me in front of all these people?” I thought she was going to attack me.

I turned and when I looked at her I think she saw by my face I was not to be messed with, “I did not threaten you, I told you to keep your fucking mouth shut, the letter explains it all, I suggest you read it.” and I walked away. I was vibrating, at what level I don’t know; but definitely vibrating.

The letter had explained my whole situation, James, why I was not working and I provided names and numbers of people who could back my story. I was not apologizing, I was not ashamed or fearful, I was proud of what I have accomplished and angry yes…. very angry but not afraid of conflict any more. Trying to avoid conflict had done me no good and now they could bring it on because I knew I was right and I was not going to back down even if it killed me.

And it almost did, I had neck pain, shoulder pain and chest pains for 3 days, my hair has even been falling out by the handfuls (what happened after my last heart attack). I won’t put the whole letter here but these are a couple of excerpts:

I have answered questions honestly and you all chose to disregard the truth and make up blatant lies, so now I must repeat myself because idle minds in this place have nothing better to do that make trouble in my life. You really all should thank your lucky stars that your lives are so uneventful that you have to make up drama to entertain yourselves.

I refuse to be disrespected any longer and I have nothing to say to anyone and don’t want any platitudes or apologies. Go to the office and tell the truth or go to hell.

As for people coming and going from the boat at all hours day and night. Bullshit! I have had one visitor since I moved in, my mother, once! Anyone else was sent down by my brother to either fix the boat or list it for sale. If there is someone around my boat at night, please CALL THE COPS, it might be my ex!! I have told you all that I have an abusive ex but you prefer to make up lies to suit your wild imaginations.

I also spend 7 days a week on my blog which has had almost 1,500,000 (that is a million and ½ for those not good at math) and has almost 1900 followers. I have attached just a fraction of the messages of gratitude I have received.

It is nothing short of a miracle that I am alive, healthy and happy because I overcame obstacles that would bring most people to their knees. I work tirelessly to help victims of abuse and will until the day I die. What have you done today?

Do you even think before you engage your vicious mouths? You all should be ashamed of yourselves, I am disgusted.

I included my resume, about 100 testimonials from people I have helped on the blog and I refuted their lies one by one. Stuff I had already told them but they refused to believe.

I just have to interrupt myself here because one of my neighbors just stopped to pat Stella who is sitting on the dock outside the boat. I said that Stella loves the attention and the woman said, “We all really enjoy giving her a pet. She has a good soul.”  I think we enjoy having Stella more than she enjoys the pets. She is good for us and puts smiles on people’s faces.   I agree.

Stella in her leash at the step outside the boat. Who could not love those eyes. It is like you can see into her soul. How lucky I am to have a son who gave me such a priceless gift called Stella.

Stella in her leash at the step outside the boat. Who could not love those eyes. It is like you can see into her soul. How lucky I am to have a son who gave me such a priceless gift called Stella.

Anyway, I heard from my brother Monday morning and the woman in the office said it was all a misunderstanding, they weren’t accusing me of stealing and no one said anyone was visiting my boat. He said that she mentioned my 7 page letter and that there was no witch hunt going on. funny how on Friday it was a different story which he has in writing but I guess my letter had the desired effect and I got what I wanted. I have stuck to my word, not gone to the office and just stay out of everyone’s way. I am sure that fellow digging through my stuff and cornering me is bordering on being illegal.

When you have a bad heart, the stressful situation may go away the effects still linger and I was having really bad pains last night and was exhausted all day yesterday. I kept thinking, “What would I do with Stella if I had to go to the hospital? My brother is leaving for a month on his boat, my son is at least 2 hours away, and my mom couldn’t take her. I must have had 6 naps and still went to bed at 11. I slept until 7, a full 8 hours without waking which is rare for me. When I woke up my neck felt so much better and the heaviness around my chest was gone.

I walked up to the shower and my neighbor, a nice lady with an equally nice husband ; who have both been nothing but neighborly and friendly to me and Stella; said Good Morning and asked how I was. I said my usual “Fine thanks” and she called me over and said, “You know my hubby and I were talking and if you ever need to go somewhere for an extended period of time we would be happy to take Stella, we both love her. You know where we are and stop by for a drink sometime too.” I thanked her very much. There is no way they would have known I was concerned about Stella.

All day everyone keeps coming by to pet Stella and the guy across the way gave me a salmon steak and all the trimmings to Stella who followed him around like a shadow while he cleaned the salmon he had caught. The fellow in the sail boat in front of me knocked on the sliding glass door and said he had cooked a tenderloin steak and couldn’t eat it all and handed me the leftovers for Stella. I have not said anything to anyone, haven’t tried to get people on “my side” in my mind it is done and I would have carried on if everyone would have joined forces against me because I know I am right because I know I am not doing anything wrong or illegal.

I feel a switch went off this week, all part of the learning process and the growing pains on this journey to be the best I can be.

You see I did for myself what I have done for people I love my whole life. Even people I didn’t know; I have always stood up for people when I felt they were being treated unjustly and I used to defend myself also. But after a year with James I stopped because I didn’t want to be called a bitch. I never used to be worried about being called a bitch when it came to fighting against an injustice.

Not one part of that letter contained fear, shame, guilt or even anger; it told the truth in a fearless and confident way, not as a victim.

Being “nice” does not always attract good things to a person, being “nice” does not guarantee you peace and joy because the world is full of assholes and you had better learn to deal with them because there is no where to hide. I gave that advice to my son over 20 years ago and you know what? I was a pretty smart woman back then, and I still am.

The really neat thing about all of this is; I am not the least bit angry because I can understand it may look suspicious that I haul a lot of stuff down to my boat and I understand that people’s imaginations can get away on them. I think probably I am the only one who learned anything from this though because shallow people never admit they might be wrong.

Stella off leash down at the boat launch chewing on one of her sticks. She collects them, all sticks belong to Stella and she keeps them in one spot, until the tide comes in and packs them away and then she is very upset until she finds more. She is such a puppy.

Stella off leash down at the boat launch chewing on one of her sticks. She collects them, all sticks belong to Stella and she keeps them in one spot, until the tide comes in and packs them away and then she is very upset until she finds more. She is such a puppy.

Oh!! and the woman with the dog, the one who started all this? I saw her with her dog on Monday; her dog was on a long rope trying to swim. She was trying to roll up the rope and it was all tangled. I took Stella to the boat launch like always, off leash. I never cared if that woman’s dog was off leash and now she has made such a big stink about my dog she has to keep her dog on a leash, just like she predicted. Funny, she caused her own grief. Who did she hurt? it seems to me, she is the only one suffering, but I am sure that is somehow my fault too.

What is that called??


Wasn’t I just talking about Karma? what do you know Karma is alive and well and living in a marina on the west coast of Canada.

You too can learn to take your power back without being considered a bitch, or if you are; you won’t care.

The workshop starts in a week, one person is signed up already. Oh did I mention; the price is now $30/ month. More to come later.