Common Expressions of a Narcissist

Here are a few expressions commonly used by a narcissist. Please feel free to add any you might have in the comment section.

“I don’t know what to say about that”
When he knows he should be showing an emotion but because he doesn’t feel the same as everyone else.

“There are many types of love, the love I have for you is different”
When he is caught saying I love you to another woman.

“They can’t believe their good fortune to finally have someone there who knows what they are doing, it’s going to take me a while to straighten up the mess from the last guy”
(Every time he gets a new job)

“I had them eating out of my hands.”
(Believes in manipulating others to create results).

“You didn’t let me finish what I was saying.”
(After verbally maiming and then pretending there was more to say)

“Just because I didn’t do what you wanted when you wanted it.”
(A justification for receptively breaking promises)

“Just because I didn’t say what you wanted to hear.”
(A justification for verbal abuse)

“You’re the only person who misunderstands what I say”

“You’re to sensitive, over-emotional, paranoid.”
(Same as above)

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, you can’t repeat what I said 5 minutes ago”
(No matter what you say they said they will disagree)

“I’m sorry, what more do you want from me, I can never make you happy no matter what I do.”
(Followed by justifications for the behaviour with body language that is clearly not aligned with an apology)

“How many times do I have to say I’m sorry.”
(Followed by repetitive unacceptable behaviour)

“Why do you have to live in the past?”
(Followed by repetitive unacceptable behaviour)

“What about your issues?”
(When failing to take responsibility for unacceptable behaviour)

“You make me behave like this, I am only reacting to your actions”
(Same applies for above)

“You’re the only person in the world I have these problems with.”
(Same applies for above)

“I can’t live with your dysfunctional perceptions”

“Why would I want to; come home, answer the phone, do something nice for you, (fill in the blank) when you act like this?”(Diverting blame)

Uses “loop hole” statements, such as:
“I *think* I’m falling in love with you” (he didn’t say he does love you)
“I *could* do this or that” (later he can say I said I could not that I would)
“*If* I asked you to marry me would you?” ( he didn’t ask)
“What size is your ring finger?”
(How you interpret that is not his fault)

“You act like my mother,” or, “You’re a control freak.”
(When asked for the truth or trustworthy / accountable behaviour)

“You know I hate conflict, but you continue to create it”
(When you confront him on something he’s done)

“This is exactly why I look elsewhere, you are always angry”
(When confronted about cheating)

“You should listen to yourself”

“If you knew the truth you wouldn’t be upset” when asked what is the truth then? Replies,”You wouldn’t believe me if I told you anyway so why bother?”

“I’ve had enough, it’s over”
(When confronted on something like continued infidelity, rejecting you for being angry)

“I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person”
(While walking away from an argument)

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677 thoughts on “Common Expressions of a Narcissist

  1. Yvonne

    Yeah I’m not sure if he’s cheating. He does come home to me every night and calls me when he’s leaving work. But he lies and sneaks around playing with himself in the bathroom with his phone when he promised me a “fun night”. Why can’t he just leave himself alone and pay attention to me? Makes me feel like I’m not good enough. Idk. Maybe he is talking to someone cuz I’m starting to not give a damn like I used to. But when I do catch him in a lie he gets outraged and calls me psycho and I’m unbelievable and so on. Says “nothing is ever good enough for you”. Tells me I nag too much and etc. I can’t wait to catch him and make him look like the true pig he really is. No wonder all his ex’s cheated on him (so he says) it was their only way out. My way out will be having the last laugh and him wishing he did things differently.

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    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      Yvonne is it worth it to you? How many years do you think you will play this game of “catch him if you can”? It is so important for you to be “right” that you will give up years of happiness? You aren’t happy, or maybe you are. Maybe you enjoy the game, it does get addicting after a while, like playing a real life game of Clue http://ladywithatruck.com/2014/05/06/the-narcissist-game-its-your-move/. Your way out is when you choose to stop hurting and take control of your life back, and not a minute sooner, until then he will keep making you dance like a puppet on a string. He is loving all the attention he gets from the drama he causes, you spending all your time trying to figure out what he is doing, the accusing, spying, trying to catch him. You are playing right into his game and you don’t even know it, and he is laughing at you. Believe me. He will NEVER regret the way he did things, things are exactly the way he wants them, you totally obsessed with what he is doing. He does not care about you or love you and he certainly does not respect you or ever will.
      When you decide to stop playing the game with him I will be here full of support for you and do what I can to help you heal.
      Good luck!!

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