Common Expressions of a Narcissist

Here are a few expressions commonly used by a narcissist. Please feel free to add any you might have in the comment section.

“I don’t know what to say about that”
When he knows he should be showing an emotion but because he doesn’t feel the same as everyone else.

“There are many types of love, the love I have for you is different”
When he is caught saying I love you to another woman.

“They can’t believe their good fortune to finally have someone there who knows what they are doing, it’s going to take me a while to straighten up the mess from the last guy”
(Every time he gets a new job)

“I had them eating out of my hands.”
(Believes in manipulating others to create results).

“You didn’t let me finish what I was saying.”
(After verbally maiming and then pretending there was more to say)

“Just because I didn’t do what you wanted when you wanted it.”
(A justification for receptively breaking promises)

“Just because I didn’t say what you wanted to hear.”
(A justification for verbal abuse)

“You’re the only person who misunderstands what I say”

“You’re to sensitive, over-emotional, paranoid.”
(Same as above)

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, you can’t repeat what I said 5 minutes ago”
(No matter what you say they said they will disagree)

“I’m sorry, what more do you want from me, I can never make you happy no matter what I do.”
(Followed by justifications for the behaviour with body language that is clearly not aligned with an apology)

“How many times do I have to say I’m sorry.”
(Followed by repetitive unacceptable behaviour)

“Why do you have to live in the past?”
(Followed by repetitive unacceptable behaviour)

“What about your issues?”
(When failing to take responsibility for unacceptable behaviour)

“You make me behave like this, I am only reacting to your actions”
(Same applies for above)

“You’re the only person in the world I have these problems with.”
(Same applies for above)

“I can’t live with your dysfunctional perceptions”

“Why would I want to; come home, answer the phone, do something nice for you, (fill in the blank) when you act like this?”(Diverting blame)

Uses “loop hole” statements, such as:
“I *think* I’m falling in love with you” (he didn’t say he does love you)
“I *could* do this or that” (later he can say I said I could not that I would)
“*If* I asked you to marry me would you?” ( he didn’t ask)
“What size is your ring finger?”
(How you interpret that is not his fault)

“You act like my mother,” or, “You’re a control freak.”
(When asked for the truth or trustworthy / accountable behaviour)

“You know I hate conflict, but you continue to create it”
(When you confront him on something he’s done)

“This is exactly why I look elsewhere, you are always angry”
(When confronted about cheating)

“You should listen to yourself”

“If you knew the truth you wouldn’t be upset” when asked what is the truth then? Replies,”You wouldn’t believe me if I told you anyway so why bother?”

“I’ve had enough, it’s over”
(When confronted on something like continued infidelity, rejecting you for being angry)

“I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person”
(While walking away from an argument)


759 thoughts on “Common Expressions of a Narcissist

  1. Aneta

    “This is a waste of time” (when i try to talk to him about his deceit and disrespectful ways towards me)

    “I dont know what youre talking about” (for same reason as above, or when i asked direct questions such as try to talk to him about his cheating or question whether he is involved with other women.

    “You argue too much. Why would i want to be around you?” (If i ask any question that he doesnt want to answer, or refuse to let him say i said something that i had not said, etc)

    “You hurt yourself” when i try to explain how his behaviour has caused me emotional pain.

    On top of it all he never ever apologises for anything. He gives the silent treatment at random for days and weeks at a time, then says he doesnt know what im talking about when i try to find out why he has shut me out.


  2. Yvonne

    Very rare does my N apologize. Only time he does is when I’m right on point and he can’t lie his way out and when I cry but that just turns him on to see me upset. When I question some of the things that are shady to me he gets defensive and says don’t question me. I say I’m only asking a question he’d say well when you ask a question there’s always an intent behind it and you turn it into a big deal. No it’s not a big deal till I see how he reacts to it then I know he’s lieing and minipulating his way out of it. Turns it all around on me and walks away and hel drag it on and turn it into a pitty party. My best friend told me that if things don’t add up then you start subtracting. Lol. I like that…it’s true.


  3. Whyohwhy

    “I love you as much as I can. You understand?”

    Of course, because he can’t love me.

    If I explain how hurt I am, try to have a discussion with him about our relationship ( before I learned of his narc tendencies), his response – “I don’t see a problem, our marriage is fine.” Or “We have the rest of our lives to sort it out” or “I’ll leave the ball in your court”.

    Never any responsibility given.



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