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Common Expressions of a Narcissist

Here are a few expressions commonly used by a narcissist. Please feel free to add any you might have in the comment section.

“I don’t know what to say about that”
When he knows he should be showing an emotion but because he doesn’t feel the same as everyone else.

“There are many types of love, the love I have for you is different”
When he is caught saying I love you to another woman.

“They can’t believe their good fortune to finally have someone there who knows what they are doing, it’s going to take me a while to straighten up the mess from the last guy”
(Every time he gets a new job)

“I had them eating out of my hands.”
(Believes in manipulating others to create results).

“You didn’t let me finish what I was saying.”
(After verbally maiming and then pretending there was more to say)

“Just because I didn’t do what you wanted when you wanted it.”
(A justification for receptively breaking promises)

“Just because I didn’t say what you wanted to hear.”
(A justification for verbal abuse)

“You’re the only person who misunderstands what I say”

“You’re to sensitive, over-emotional, paranoid.”
(Same as above)

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, you can’t repeat what I said 5 minutes ago”
(No matter what you say they said they will disagree)

“I’m sorry, what more do you want from me, I can never make you happy no matter what I do.”
(Followed by justifications for the behaviour with body language that is clearly not aligned with an apology)

“How many times do I have to say I’m sorry.”
(Followed by repetitive unacceptable behaviour)

“Why do you have to live in the past?”
(Followed by repetitive unacceptable behaviour)

“What about your issues?”
(When failing to take responsibility for unacceptable behaviour)

“You make me behave like this, I am only reacting to your actions”
(Same applies for above)

“You’re the only person in the world I have these problems with.”
(Same applies for above)

“I can’t live with your dysfunctional perceptions”

“Why would I want to; come home, answer the phone, do something nice for you, (fill in the blank) when you act like this?”(Diverting blame)

Uses “loop hole” statements, such as:
“I *think* I’m falling in love with you” (he didn’t say he does love you)
“I *could* do this or that” (later he can say I said I could not that I would)
“*If* I asked you to marry me would you?” ( he didn’t ask)
“What size is your ring finger?”
(How you interpret that is not his fault)

“You act like my mother,” or, “You’re a control freak.”
(When asked for the truth or trustworthy / accountable behaviour)

“You know I hate conflict, but you continue to create it”
(When you confront him on something he’s done)

“This is exactly why I look elsewhere, you are always angry”
(When confronted about cheating)

“You should listen to yourself”

“If you knew the truth you wouldn’t be upset” when asked what is the truth then? Replies,”You wouldn’t believe me if I told you anyway so why bother?”

“I’ve had enough, it’s over”
(When confronted on something like continued infidelity, rejecting you for being angry)

“I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person”
(While walking away from an argument)

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566 responses to “Common Expressions of a Narcissist

  • Phyllis

    I’ve lusted after other females, but you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. “That was suppose to make me feel ok with his cheating I suppose” :(

    Like

  • Shelly

    He would offer to do stuff for me then make remarks like” it’s all about you”
    He would make me feel bad for helping me..

    Like

    • Carrie Reimer

      Phyllis, Shelly, that’s what it’s all about; making people feel bad about themselves. James would sabotage my truck so I would have to call him to rescue me and then he would tell me that I would never find a man who would rescue me like he did and that he was not my personal mechanic and I should be paying for my own repairs. I tried, I couldn’t keep up with the repairs because he was staying up all night wrecking my truck.
      If they can’t find something legit to bitch about they make it up.

      Like

  • lisa51

    Everybody Cheats. No marriage is faithful. Period.

    Like

  • lisa51

    Every woman I’ve been with loves me. I have never hurt anybody. Insinuating that if they were hurt, it was their fault.

    Like

    • ellie2013

      I guess you are looking for attention making such comments so I will indulge you:

      Any person ( using the term loosely ) that has that high of an opinion of themselves, is fooling themselves only. Period.

      Like

  • lisa51

    Not my husband, the Narc! My husband and I never cheated once in 21 years …

    Like

  • lisa51

    The Narc (I was with) and his wife cheated on each other … why they didn’t just have an open relationship I can’t understand. There was another woman involved (his OW) who was out of the picture but they were still friends. She and her husband were best friends with them and they all knew about it but no one spoke about it. He told me his wife was OK with it. He wanted me to call the OW and talk with her – telling me they were like brother and sister. He had moved away a couple hours and just considered her a friend by then. She freaked out. Eventually I told his wife what was going on (couldn’t stand lying anymore) and she blew up. That was the beginning of the end. I went no contact for 9 months. What a freakin’ mess. All because I was so damn weak and vulnerable when he hit on me. His wife brought him to my house and he came back and hit on me. I held off for 2 weeks, but said what the heck – I’ve lost everything anyway so what does it matter. It’s taken me several years to begin to forgive myself and not hate myself. The guilt and shame were all consuming, but after awhile, I grew to accept it.

    Like

    • Carrie Reimer

      it sounds like quite the circus Lisa, glad you are out if it and were able to get past the guilt and shame. It must have been very hard after having a normal relationship to be in the midst of all that dysfunction.

      Like

      • lisa51

        Yes, it was terrible Carrie. First husband was mentally ill and dangerous – escaped with life. My 2nd husband was everything he said he was …loyal, faithful, trustworthy and honest. This narc was a piece of work. They appear normal, but what normal person lies as a way of life? I’d never met anyone that operated that way. It was hard for me to believe – one of the reasons I guess I kept going back. Just couldn’t accept that I was that dumb. So I kept digging myself in deeper.

        Like

  • eric

    “You’re the only person in the world I have these problems with.” I said this, & I don’t think I’m NPD. There is only one woman (person) I’ve ever had such a hard time communicating with. She would avoid & dodge simple questions I asked in my attempt to understand what she was angry about with enough words to answer me 10 times over. Resolution was next to impossible.

    Liked by 1 person

    • ellie2013

      Eric,

      I am sure that alot of have said that same thing. Doesn’t mean you are an N. We observe how we have dealt w/ others in our life and compare and one and one does not equal up to 2 EVER w/ an N. They are masters at avoiding answering any question they dodge and weave. Not because the answer is even incriminating. They like the game. Asking an N to explain anything is like trying to fill a bucket w/ holes. Water keeps going in and at the end of the day you have a very high water bill and still an empty bucket.

      Like

    • Carrie Reimer

      Eric, the phrase itself does not make the person a narcissist, it is the context that the phrase is used. Most of the statements are generic all by themselves.
      James used to say he never had this problem with anyone else and I said the same thing. The difference was I had never had a problem communicating with a significant other ever in my life and I had never been in an abusive relationship before either.
      According to James all his ex’s were psycho bitches and he had hit women in the past and all his ex’s had accused him of cheating etc. I had never been the jealous type.
      The N always blames the victim of the things they are doing. It used to blow me away when James would accuse me of the exact same things he was doing to me and then express the same feels I was feeling as how he was feeling. I thought I was going mad. I wouldn’t have even said anything to him but he knew what he was doing and the reaction he was causing without me even saying anything so he would turn the tables.

      Like

      • eric

        I’m fairly certain I’m not an NPD, but if I am not willing to consider the possibility then I am risking philosophical certainty of not being such a monster because if I was, I would want to know so I could get help.

        I used logical constructs based in wisdom from antiquity to prevent her from bamboozling me.
        So most odd was her communication style. She would make statements that were just a bit off or seemed skewed. Any inquiry for more details were tiresome to her & she would dodge & evade my question until she could have answered it 10 times.
        Eventually I developed this reverse linguistical skill where whatever evasive answer she gave me I would then ask her the question she answered kind of like jeopardy then re ask my original question. Often this was met with silence. I would then ask something like “whats the square root of minus 1?” to show her what a real tough question really was.

        The more I knew who she really was the less she liked me as if I was violating her in some way by connecting the dots.

        Like

  • anandela

    i am not a narc, are you crazy?

    Like

  • idodoyouride

    i dont want confrontation with you. i will not argue !!!

    ( then dont do stupid shit that drives a person crazy. )

    Like

  • Fuller

    My narc always answers a question with a question, if I ask the question again she will say I’ve already answered your question three times and I’m not going to tell you again. My narc would start a fight so she could leave for a weekend with her gf’s and blame my argumentative ness for her leaving. Always talking behind peoples back and would make friends in college with others who she would actually get to do her work and then get mad at them if her grade was not what she wanted. If you are a kind person you are a target for them. When I told mine I would not move from the area because I would not leave my little boy she told me that I can’t live my life around and other person. Lol I got an education the hard way. Everyone should familiarize themselves with this type of person.

    Like

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