I just did a post on my other blog about the side effects of vaccines and being forced to get vaccinated because without a passport the unvaxxed ate essentially banned from society. Here is the link
I have been having a whole whack of mixed emotions since first hearing Gabby was missing. I try to not be a pessimist, I try to not automatically assume the worst but the first thought that always comes to mind when a woman is missing is; where is her boyfriend/husband/ex?
It is tragic that 9.5 out of 10 times, I am right; it is her significant other or ex.
When I saw the video of the police talking to Gabby and Brian Laundrie, I immediately flashed back to similar situations with my ex. Like me, Gabby was crying, emotional, almost incoherent when asked to explain what was going on. And Brian, like my ex, was calm, cool, unemotional, concerned, apologetic, subtly blaming Gabby for causing the problems. “We were having a good morning but she gets OCD, my feet were dirty, she was cleaning and working on her little blog.” “I was trying to remove myself until she calmed down. I shouldn’t have pushed her, but I just wanted some space.” Aaww poor Brian, the victim of her erratic emotions.
The victim is a good person who self reflects, doesn’t want to get anyone into trouble and she always believes things will get better.
I can imagine how things had gone that morning because the narcissist always gives subtle clues.
Gabby wanted to work on the travel blog but Brian resented her not giving him her whole attention. She mentions to the police that he doesn’t think she is capable of doing it and he tells the police she was working on her “little blog”.
I imagine he had a good rant devaluing her blog and her efforts.
She probably had cleaned the van that morning, perhaps because he had bitched because it was a mess. Then he walked in with dirty feet and she mentioned that she had just cleaned. I remember being on my hands and knees washing the floor when my ex walked right through the house with his muddy boots on. When I asked him to please take his shoes off because I was washing the floors, he went into a tirade about something totally unrelated that I had done. I ended up in tears and apologizing to him.
He locks her out of the van. I had to walk home several times because my ex locked me out of the vehicle and drove off, (with my purse and phone in the vehicle). Now, consider being in a strange town, alone, crying, and having your significant other lock you out of your van and threaten to leave you.
And Laundrie mentioned too the police that he was afraid she would abandon him and take the van.
My ex used to take my phone so I couldn’t phone anyone. He had her phone and in the process of trying to get her phone, her life line, back, she accidentally scratched his face.
What was she supposed to do? where could she go? In a town where she didn’t know anyone, and is reliant on him for everything. She had quit her job, and was being belittled about her efforts with the blog.
The video I saw I am sure I heard the cop say, “I’ll let you get back to your call with your parents”. What did she tell her parents? She must have been crying. Were they not worried? Or was it like when I called my mother in tears and she said, “It doesn’t sound like things are going very well right now. I can’t handle it. Maybe call back when things get better. Call collect if you have to.” *click*
I would like to know about both their lives prior to meeting each other. Most victims of a narcissist had plenty of training in the art of giving and putting themselves behind the needs of others.
And narcissists, by the time they hit their 20’s have caused some sort of chaos in their lives, they are seldom model children and teens and were in trouble at school or with the law at some point. Their parents may have done double time covering the narcissists tracks, doing damage control or believing his lies.
You can’t convince me the Laundries didn’t help Laundrie escape. I think they have led the police on a wild goose chase and Laundrie isn’t anywhere near that nature reserve. What lie did he tell them? My friend asked me last night if I would help my son get away or turn him in. I love my son more than life itself but I would want him to be honest and I wouldn’t want him to spend his life as a fugitive.
Terribly sad, because Gabby would be alive now if the police had recognized the tell tale signs of narcissistic abuse.
This is an answer I gave on Quora a couple of years ago and it’s still getting upvotes so i thought I share it here.
No one is a magnet for narcissists, everyone has them in their life at some time or another. And meeting a narcissist doesn’t have to be devastating.
The whole problem comes when the intended target stays too long in the relationship, not that the target was targetted.
For example: about a year after leaving my ex I met a guy who seemed really interested in me. I was afraid of getting hurt again and was totally honest with him about being abused, scarred and cautious about getting involved. (For some reason I thought if I was honest he would go, “oh shit! She been hurt before so I better not hurt her”. )
He said we could just be friends, he cooked me dinners, loved my dogs, did special little things for me, text every night and morning just to say have a nice day Babe, he told me how much he respected me. My gut kept telling me something wasn’t right, I told myself I was just paranoid. I eventually had sex with him. A short time later something told me to show up unannounced at his place, he had given me a key to his place.
Well, wouldn’t you know he had another woman there. I gave her the key to his place and said, “You’ll be needing this”, called him an asshole and left.
For awhile I was devastated. Woe is me, taken in by another narcissist. How could I ever trust again?? Protect myself? I had even told him I had been abused, why would he hurt me?!
Well, first of all; an asshole doesn’t care you’ve been hurt before and a normal nice guy would probably run to the hills if a woman told him she was terribly scarred and didn’t trust anyone. What normal healthy person wants a partner who is packing a bunch of baggage?
Then I realized I wasn’t a victim at all. My gut had been telling me all along something was wrong but I didn’t listen. This just proved to me that I should trust my gut instincts.
And I stayed away. I never dated him again and when he jumped in my car and was complaining that the new woman had caught him with another woman and trashed his place and he had to call the cops, I laughed out loud and said, Karma’s a bitch eh? Cry to someone else.”
The narcissist only takes what we willingly give.
The problem alot of victims have is they expect a another man to fix the damage done by the narcissist. The narcissist destroyed their self confidence, criticized them and they couldn’t do anything right.
They meet another narcissist and in typical narcissist fashion they flatter the new target, she is the sexiest, she is the woman he’s looked for his whole life. Everything about her is perfect. The victim feels reborn! Beautiful, sexy, loved!!, Special!! Healed!
And then it happens, the mask drops and omg! Her prince charming is a narcissist!! How did that happen? They are shattered, devastated, and the cycle continues.
How do you break that cycle? By not dating for a long while, not relying on anyone else for your happiness or worth.
Start living true to your core self, don’t compromise your values, morals, or standards for anyone. Walk away when they don’t treat you respectfully. Stop trying to be the type of woman the man wants and worry more about if the man is someone u need in your life.
I have no desire to date anyone, not because I am afraid of getting hurt, not because I hate men, not because I don’t have men interested. The reason I don’t want to date is, I love my life, I love my freedom, and I don’t want any man to disrupt my serenity. I don’t want to share or compromise. I don’t want to consider someone else when I make plans or decide to spontaneously go somewhere. It would take a very special man to change my mind, and that’s the way it should be.
Sure I miss male company but not enough to sacrifice what I have.
But I don’t need a man to make me whole, or to give me value. Too many women will settle for any man just to not be alone. They feel worthless unless they have a man.