There’s Alot To Be Said For Aging Gracefully

I was visiting a friend’s blog this morning http://mysterycoach.wordpress.com/2011/10/24/sexual-enticement/#comment-1724 and once again she got me thinking; this time about sexual attractive and how it clouds our judgment.

OH HOW I CAN RELATE!! My hormones/sex drive whatever you want to call it has gotten me into more than one fine mess. James is the most recent one, (fine mess), and to be totally honest I walked, no I RAN to the slaughter like a dog in heat! (Any one who has visited my site in the last month knows I know all about dogs in heat!! *wink* Haha

I can’t believe I’m going to admit here; for the whole world to read; what a shallow horny little toad I was!

I had just rolled over the 40 year land mark and was feeling rather smug with myself about “looking pretty good for a woman in her 40’s”, I was about a year out of a marriage and had just put an ad in Plenty of Fish, dated a few guys and realized I really wasn’t into meet a man. I removed my ad and deleted all the photos of guys I had been chatting to, but there was one determined fellow who insisted on meeting me in person even after me telling him I really wasn’t into dating after all. We lived a bit of a distance from each other and just didn’t want to put the effort into meeting this guy.

I was managing an office at the time and organizing the staff Christmas party; which was being held at an expensive restaurant in a quaint little tourist town about half way between us. I reluctantly told him that if he wanted to meet me at the pub across the street from the restaurant I’d be there on Thurs night; so that was the plan.

My meeting at the restaurant went a lot quicker than I had anticipated so I went to the pub to wait for my “date”.

I didn’t have a clue what this guy looked like. I had seen his picture but I had looked at dozens of photos POF prospects and had deleted all of them off my computer.

I didn’t want to admit to the guy I had deleted him so I was planning on winging it. It was mid week, I figured I’d just keep my eye out for a guy who looked like he was looking for someone and I was the only single woman in there; how hard could it be.

Well, he got stuck in rush hour traffic, I’d been there an hour or more and I decided I’d go out to the patio for a smoke. I positioned myself so I could keep my eye on the door and ordered another glass of wine. Just as I was finishing my 2nd smoke and downing the last of my 2nd glass of white wine (I could really pound them back in my younger years) I saw a man walk into the pub and stop; he was scanning the room, obviously looking for someone.

He was much better looking than I had expected. I did a quick assessment; at least 6′ tall (tick), dark curly hair (tick), glasses, that dimple in the chin that always makes my knees weak (double tick), slim, wearing an expensive looking black leather jacket with a freshly pressed cotton shirt underneath and those faded jeans were fitting him just right(TICK)

I was feeling confident| you know when you are looking good and I’d worn a dress I’d had many compliments on. It was short!! Really short! I had 4 inch pumps on which made me about 6′ 2″ and all leg. (When you don’t have boobs you gotta flaunt whatcha got)
I had my shoulder length hair dyed a vibrant red at that time and wearing it in what my brother called my “FF” (Freshly fucked) hair-do.

I walked into the pub and our eyes met, I flashed him my biggest smile and strided towards him holding my arms out in anticipation of giving him a hug and he stood there smiling back at me, “oh geezz he had those cute little bad boy dimples when he grinned”. I was only a few steps away from him when I realized; this can’t be my date; he’s much too young. Without missing a beat I made a sharp left turn and went and sat at my table.

I must have been as red as my hair sitting there looking out the window (looking any where but at him) thinking, “Oh God Carrie! You fool! Had to have that 2nd glass of wine didn’t you? Oh God if you truly do exist please beam me up now!!”

I ordered another glass of wine (I know I know….) And was still cursing myself when I heard a male voice, “would you like to join me, let me buy you a drink?” I turned, saw his faded jeans at eye level and slowly raised my head until our eyes met and mumbled something about waiting for someone. Flashing me a “perfect teeth” smile he said, “Just my luck, I’m not surprised but had to try. Have a nice night” and walked away.

Oh Lord! Can this get any worse? The guy must think I’m a nut case! I needed to use the washroom which meant walking past his table. I sneaked a peak at him, he was on his cell phone, lounging comfortably in his seat, legs outstretched, he had that air of subtle confidence I find so dang attractive. Ok this was crazy, I really needed to pee!

As I walked past his table he was still on the phone but gave me a 1/2 smile and nodded his head. When I came out of the bathroom he was off the phone and I quickly walked past his table avoiding eye contact. I sat down and then I got back up and walked over to his table. He smiled again and looked at me expectantly.

“I feel I owe you an explanation seeing as in the last hour I almost hugged you, turned you down for drinks, told you I am waiting for someone and I’m still sitting here alone wishing I could crawl under a rock” We laughed and I explained how I was meeting this guy and didn’t know what he looked like. He asked me how I liked internet dating, he’d never tried it himself. The conversation was easy and we laughed a lot; we “clicked”. I excused myself and went for another smoke.

That was it; I was going to finish this smoke and then I was out of there. I’d been waiting over an hour for a guy I didn’t even want to meet.

As I walked back to my table and past the faded jeans guy’s table he handed me a slip of paper and said, “If your date doesn’t go well I hope you’ll call me”. We were both holding the slip of paper looking into each other’s eyes when my date walked in.

“Oh Good Lord!! It just keeps getting worse!” I thought as I slipped the paper into my purse and pasted a smile on my face.

By now I REALLY needed some food in my stomach so we ordered appetizers. My date was a slightly over weight pompous lawyer who had to put a price tag on everything at the top of his lungs.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the faded jeans guy paying his bill, as he walked out the door he gave me a grin and a little wave. I felt like screaming, “Come Back!” I tried to stay focused on the conversation with my date but the jeans guy came back, forgot his smokes, and waved again as he left. 10 minutes later he was back getting matches off the waitress and waved goodbye again. Then a few minutes later he was back again; this time sticking his head into the pub and giving me one last wave, a wink and a grin. The droning of my date brought me back down to earth and I checked my watch; we’d only been sitting there half an hour. I could not sit there listening to this braggart much longer and I thought to myself, ” I don’t have to”.

I said, “Look I’ve been here for hours, I am tired and have an hours drive home, I really have to go”. He tried to protest saying he’d fought rush hour traffic to get there and now I was leaving? Could he call me again? I said I really didn’t see us going any where, put $20 on the table and told him to have a good night.

I had never called a man first in my life but when I got home I opened the folded piece of paper……. James….. And a phone number. I dialed and hung up half a dozen times before I found the courage to let it ring.
He answered, my heart was in my throat but I managed to say something like, “I hope I’m not calling too late, it’s Carrie, I met you in the pub tonight?” As if he’d have forgotten me already.

He sounded pleased to hear from me, (you know how a guys voice softens when he realizes who he’s talking to) and asked, “How was your date? It didn’t last very long.”

He burst out laughing when I said, “Horrible, the guy was a pompous ass lawyer and I couldn’t wait to get out of there”.

“Pompous ass you say?” And he had another laugh. We talked and laughed for hours then before we hung up he asked me out for drinks Saturday night. We met for drink as planned and as before we just “clicked”. There were no uncomfortable silences, the conversation flowed, I found him fascinating, he had a way of being confident without being arrogant, and he appeared as taken with me. He wanted to know about my life and my interests, we laughed easily and shared a quick wit. He was obviously enjoying my company as much as I was enjoying his.

He had to work the next day so we said goodbye early. We hugged (finally) and I gave him a little kiss on the neck, he kissed my cheek and then our lips found each other and I remember thinking, “Thank You God! He knows how to kiss!”

We had already made plans to get together the next day. He had just picked up his new BMW and needed someone to drive his other home for him. He was working during the day and heading home to Sechelt in the evening so it was only going to be a short date. He said he’d call me when he got off work; which he did and we agreed on a meeting place.

I got there just minutes before him. He got out of his car and excused his appearance, he’d just gotten off work and was grubby. I was dumb struck, so obviously turned on I couldn’t even fake otherwise. He was wearing the black leather jacket, his bare chest and just a glimpse of a six pack exposed because he had only snapped the bottom snap. He must have noticed my drool and volunteered, “My shirt got dirty at work so I took it off”. I felt my face getting warm and couldn’t think of one damn thing to say. He turned to go do something and not only was the knee of his very-well-fitted jeans blown out but he had a rip in the ass of his jeans also and I could see he didn’t wear underwear. God he had a nice ass.

I was fully aware of the fact that he knew exactly what he was doing, it was all so obvious and cheesy. James 007 ish and I was falling for it hook line and sinker. I felt like throwing him up against the car and saying, “Touchie! Cheesy but effective! ^5, good move! you win, I give, I can’t even pretend to not want to screw your brains out right here and now” but I managed to contain myself even though my hormones were raging so badly they drown out any rational thought and I was acting like a lobotomy patient.

I don’t have to tell you what happened, not that day, but the next time we were together and it was my undoing.

Jump ahead 10 yrs, we are broken up, the phone rings. Its James, using his “soft” voice; he’s in the neighborhood and can he drop by. A few minutes later there’s a knock at the door. I yell to come in and there he is, faded jeans , (only these ones don’t fit as well as the ones 10 yrs ago), a different black leather bomber jacket. He notices where my eyes are focused and says, “My shirt got dirty at work so I took it off.”

I reached into the bag I had by the door that was full of clothes I was taking to charity and pulled out a t-shirt and handed it to him. “This should fit you, keep it, I was done with it anyway”.

He stood there for a minute and then pulled it over his head, it was a little tight and I noticed the 6 pack wasn’t any more. There was an uncomfortable silence then he said,”I was hoping to get $20 off you, I’m low on fuel”.

He didn’t get the $20.
Don’t get me wrong,I think James is a good looking guy and I would be all over him if we were together and he hadn’t been a supreme SOB.

I couldn’t help but feel kinda sorry for him and wonder if I should fill him in that; a line that worked for him 10 yrs ago has taken him from “studly rebel without a cause guy” to “creepy lecherous old guy”.

I had a flash back to my early 20’s when I was always out partying in the clubs. There was this old guy (he was probably mid 40’s) everyone called Captain T. He was always in the club, leaning up against the cigarette machine trying to pick up the young hotties. He was balding, always had his shirt undone to his navel, and wore Mr T type gold chains and big gawdy rings. He was repulsive to the young women and a joke to everyone else.

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8 Replies to “There’s Alot To Be Said For Aging Gracefully”

  1. Tick, tick, tick, click. How is that some guys have the combinations to our hearts without even knowing it? Too bad so many of them turn into dirtbags right before our eyes.

    Amen and I hear ya sista! Funny thing how guys just keep using the same old lines. I think the problem is that we (the fairer sex) keep falling for them. Sure you have immunity, but sad to say the next woman won’t. True story, I got tangled up with a guy a few years back. His ex-wife and I later became friends. Something like 20 years between the two relationships, but won’t you know it . . . he used most the same lines on me that he had on her.

    I love the humor with which you write about a subject that I know personally is tough. Hang in there.

    Like

    1. Miss Demure thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed my post. I have become friends with one of his ex’s also, it was very interesting to get the straight goods about their relationship. I’m sure my replacement would be surprised to know the truth.

      After a couple of years with him and hearing about how all his ex’s were psycho bitches I finally said, “You know James if I was you I’d be really worried”.

      He was confused by that. I said “Well, either you keep picking psycho bitches or you turn these women into psycho bitches. Either way, you’ve got a problem!”

      Also thanks for the words of encouragement! I have come SO far in the last year, I feel like a marathon runner who just turned the corner and can see the finish line. You know how they get that spurt of energy right at the end and they sprint across the line? That’s me!

      I’m sprinting and people I didn’t know when I started the race and have never met face to face are there cheering me on! I’m going to be ok!

      Like

  2. I laughed when you were saying “tick” I know how that goes. Hi Miss Demure!

    I have met various versions of this guy. This one was quite talented I see. You’re a very good writer young lady.

    OH! the ripped jeans !! SCORE! LOL 🙂 Huh… seems we have same or similar taste.

    This line is hysterical (and true)

    “I managed to contain myself even though my hormones were raging so badly they drown out any rational thought and I was acting like a lobotomy patient”

    LOL and were were your brains? Yah… I know. Lobotomy patient hahaha! hahaha!!!!

    Like

    1. Thanks mystery coach glad you enjoyed it! I could almost hear you laughing just now reading your comment.

      Oh yeah the ripped jeans, I remember it like it was yesterday. I was just like; shit, wave the white flag I’m done, I knew it, he had me.

      Watching the dogs doing their mating thing a couple of weeks ago SO reminded me of myself years ago. If I would have been a male dog I would have humped his leg! Hahaha

      Like

  3. This was such a good read… Funny too… You do write really well.

    The psycho bitches I can relate to. Some guys will just never admit they have that effect on women.

    MC you and ma trucking lady need to go clubbing together. I think you both will have a much needed good laugh. 😉 oh and I’m invited too 😛

    Like

    1. Aneesa, it always surprises me when someone enjoys something I write, thank you for the compliment!

      I agree, I would love to meet MC “live”, hmmmmm maybe a blogfest is in order? If we could get some of these bloggers all in one place I’d probably pee myself laughing!

      Thanks for popping in!

      Like

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    Like

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