A friend of mine posted this on her Facebook and I thought it was well worth passing on.
I love the analogy of relationships being like a plant; it’s very true.
So many times I have over watered a plant drowning it in an attempt to save it. The more I watered the worse it looked but that was all I knew to do so even though it was obviously NOT what the plant needed i just couldn’t stop watering it. Just like I have “over watered” a love relationship, watching the relationship dying, trying to “fix” it by loving too much, or talking about it too much, whatever I thought would fix it because it was the only thing I knew what to do. Even though I knew it wasn’t working, making it worse even; I over nurtured until it died a painful death. Probably if I’d just left it alone, let it “dry out” for awhile it might have worked out.
I have also put a beautiful new plant in a corner somewhere and promptly forgot all about it. I was so busy watering the dying plant I totally neglected the new plant until it was dead, the soil totally dried out and hard.
I bought a handy little gadget that I use on my plants now. Instead of watering them all on the same day or when I think they need it I simply insert this probe and it tells me how much moisture is in the soil. Some times I am shocked to discover a plant I thought needed water doesn’t need it at all. I lose way less plants this way; by giving them what they need and not what I *think* they need.
People are like that, each one has different needs; just because one needs a lot of touching, or reassurance, or whatever doesn’t mean the next person does. Because you want to be loved a certain way does not mean your partner needs to be loved that way.
They don’t make a “probe” for gauging if your partner is drowning or drying up; we are left fumbling trying to guess, or giving up because it just seems too much work.
Complicated thing; relationships, we need them (not always a *lover* pursey but friendships, family etc) but dang they can drive you insane, piss you off, break your heart and make you feel like becoming a hermit. But then next thing you know you’ve bought another plant, thinking; this time you’ve got it figured out. You have to keep trying because you know when you do get it right how good it feels.
Besides if you do give up you’ll end up buying one of those ugly silk or plastic plants and everyone will know you failed at plant nurturing 101.
Following the same plant/relationship analogy; if you give up on relationships you end up buying a damn ugly blow up doll. And you don’t want to know what everyone thinks about THAT! Haha
I think I’ll go water my plants now! Have a sun filled day!
Posted by Carrie the Lady Witha Truck using WordPress for BlackBerry.