My eyes are two hot embers from lack of sleep and crying.
I should be out there working already, I waste so much time because of JC.
I shouldn’t have answered the door, shouldn’t have let him in, shouldn’t have let him talk.
It’s not that I believe him, not for a minute do I believe he wants to help me or that he feels some loyalty to me and is willing to fight Marissa for the right to see me. And what the hell is that all about anyway? Since when does he ask permission to do anything? Since when has he decided he couldn’t close the door on “us”? Could have fooled me all last year! He says she wasn’t happy about him seeing me and I wouldn’t have liked it either.
HELLO??? I was expected to shut up and not be so suspicious and paranoid when he stayed the night at his ex’s, I was being unreasonable when I got upset that he was sending love letters to the woman in Africa saying we weren’t together and he was sending for her, I was supposed to not snoop so I wouldn’t find his personal ads on the internet. I would have been thrilled if he’d asked or explained he wanted to help an ex. Fuck! I baby sat my ex’s wife’s baby, when my ex’s ex fell down the stairs she called me to come get the kids. I have never had a problem with ex’s. But no man I was with ever spent the night or wrote love letters either.
He said he understands its hard on me to see him doing well and he wanted to help me do well also. He said, “you are doing better without me and you can do well also, you can you know”
OMG!! Get over yourself!! YOU aren’t doing well, the woman you are with has the money, the house the summer property, her family has money, you are driving her car, YOU have done nothing to earn any of it. You are using a woman to give the illusion you are doing well. YOU have NOTHING!!
You got fired again! And once again you are falsely accused of stealing, got injured on the job and someone has it in for you and lied so now they won’t pay you. Always misunderstandings, always falsely accused, never your fault, always a new better more important job on the horizon.
Yada yada yada some song and dance different day.
I told him he had his chance to treat me with respect and help me. That I had no desire to be a player in his orchestrated life. I was not going to be a tool to make M jealous and “shape up” and I was not going to be around to be rejected again when I was no longer useful to him.
Oh and he cried about the puppies dying, and cried when he saw the one survivor. Funny how he can cry so easily now but when my heart was breaking and I needed him he told me to kill myself because no one would want a suicidal paranoid bitch like me anyway.
Yeah, I need friends like that.
I don’t think so. Find another sucker to manipulate, this actor has had her last curtain call.