The Narcissist Apologizes and Wants you Back!!!!

You’ve been split from your narcissistic partner and are starting to feel like you just might survive this horrible experience. You have probably not had contact with him for a while but you still think about him, it still hurts but you don’t cry every day and you can feel your old self coming back.

And then.

He calls, or shows up out of the blue. He tells you every thing you longed to hear for so long. He is sorry, so sorry, he cries and looks so remorseful. Then he does something totally out of character; he takes full responsibility for his actions; he admits he was wrong to be unfaithful, to hit you or verbally assault you. He says he has realized you are the woman he wants for the rest of his life. He begs for another chance and looks you right in the eye with tears streaming down his face. He looks so vulnerable and you feel your resolve weakening and your love and compassion returning. You go to him and he holds you like you are his life line; like he’ll never let you go

Then the two of you are both crying and you hold each other for a long time and maybe you say, “You really hurt me”.

Him, “sshhhh Baby. I’m so sorry I’ll never hurt you again. I love you, please don’t cry.”

You’re crying harder, all the pain and loneliness seems to be spilling from your body, “I love you too.”

Him, “Can you ever forgive me?”

You, “Of course but it’s going to take time”

Him, “Take all the time you need, as long as you give me the chance to prove my love for you; as long as you are willing to give me a 2nd chance. I promise you won’t regret it”.

This is what you’ve dreamed of for months; your heart is pounding out of your chest, your knees feel weak, and your heart is full of love for this man. He loves YOU!!

He kisses you softly, kisses the tears from your cheeks, brushes the hair from your eyes and stares deep into your soul pleading with his eyes. He looks like a little boy, so innocent and he says he should have known better than to think he could ever be happy without you. And as his voice chokes with emotion again he admits, “He’s never loved anyone like he loves you, maybe it scared him at first but he’s realized how wrong he was to push you away.”.

He whispers in your ear, “Will you marry me?”

You hold him and both of you are crying and laughing at the same time.

He must be telling the truth; why would he bother to apologize and admit to everything he ever did wrong if he doesn’t have full intentions of changing?. People don’t admit they were wrong if they have no plans to change. He’s so humble, so remorseful, so contrite and he said he still LOVES YOU!!! YOU! Only you!

But that little voice in your gut is screaming Run!!! You tell it to “shut up!!”,you don’t want to hear it. It’s just nervous excitement because this so unexpected.

You never thought you’d hear him say all those wonderful things. You aren’t going to let anything put a damper on how wonderful and alive you feel.

The narcissist has just made his curtain call.

Before you start planning the wedding, before you jump back in and give your heart away again. Please go to the site below.

I wish I had!

http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/is-he-or-she-really-a-narcissist-laying-boundaries-and-accountability/

Posted by Carrie the Lady Witha Truck using WordPress for BlackBerry.

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89 thoughts on “The Narcissist Apologizes and Wants you Back!!!!

  1. Oh, my! That’s exactly the way he acted during our reconciliation attempts. To the proverbial “T”.
    But I could not forget the cruelty during the first year, the callousness, the airy nonchalance with which he discarded me, the silent treatments, the lack of empathy, the way he used me. “A PERSON THAT TREATS ANYONE LIKE THAT EVER IS NOT PARTNER MATERIAL” screams my gut. My brain/heart try to find excuses:
    – he came from a horrible family
    – he is trying so hard
    – he really has changed, brings me flowers, little presents etc.
    – he is seeing a councelor (!)
    – his behavior is learned and can be unlearned.
    – he was not nurtured by his parents
    – he wants to learn how to love
    – everybody is allowed to make mistakes
    – he is not looking at any other woman (he really is NOT)
    – I must learn to forgive
    – don’t be cruel back. (“now you have become cruel, too” mocks my conscience …)

    The more I write the louder my gut screams “save yourself” and “absolutely NOT”. The very thought of going back to him causes psychosomatic reactions and my mind goes blank. Honestly. I have rarely had such violent physical reactions when I thought of a person.
    The “I am a reformed man” face – oh, how well I know it. And I want to trust it so much, but I cannot for the life of me. Something is standing between me and my tormentor and I am somehow grateful for its persistence.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Liselotte, never ever doubt your gut. God gave us all the ability to sense danger, where we run into problems is when we doubt our guts and “think” too much. If everyone listened to their gut there would be way less victims in the world.

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      1. I was married to one for just under 4 months; we are now going through the separation and divorce process (I can file in Nov.); Yes, God has given us that ability and I had friends who were very worried to me. I even prayed for red flags and rec’d them, from him borrowing money to admitting he had a relapse (although he never did specify with what – I later learned it was drugs and it kept up through our marriage). If I had actually mentioned a few of these things I’ve mentioned here, I probably never would have married him. He pushed me into getting married 2 months earlier than we were supposed to; had I waited, again, I would have seen more of his behaviour. He was already accusing me of cheating on him, too, before we were even married.

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    2. The above blog describes to a “T” my situation as well. And Liselott, your response is exactly how I feel. Especially when you say “Don’t be cruel back (you have been cruel screams my conscience) I can sooooo relate.

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      1. I have to add…that unfortunately I did go back after a year of us being separated I did so good w NC even though he never left me alone the whole entire year we were apart and he was off dating everything under the sun still trying to weasel his way into my life. After a year of this crap I fell for it again and it was another year and a half of hot cold beautiful Hell!he did ask me to marry him (for the third time in 11 yrs of our off and on realtionshit) he bought me a ring and asked me to marry him in the most romantic way on a rafting trip down the grand canyon. Anyways things started crumbling the first month into our reconciliation and continued as the usual rollercoadter I’d grown accustomed to. Long story short…he orchestrated another fight w me and I threatened to leave him again for the umteenth time in that last yr and a half and he “made me eat my threats” and seemed to have no problem w the break up. Hes back on dating sites and deviant porn sites again and screwing arounf just a few days after our split. Now he wants the van and phone he gave me and has contacted me a month after this split. I’ve gone nc AGAIN and he won’t get a thing from me this time as the van and phone are all in my name. Hes a wicked emotionally mentally physically abusive Vampire!

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        1. OMG….i so hear you tanya….Its just like reading about the same man. I was with my N for 6yrs….and had split on and off several times in that 6yrs. Yet again his true colours showed and i told him it was over. Been 2wks since he been gone, and already feel so much betta. He was a compulsive liar, a user, a cheat, sneaky as, moody, rages, hot and cold, addicted to computer, and drugs, and porn/dating sites…..i had the gut feeling all along but loved him so much, didnt want to believe he could do all that. Absolute parasites they are. His friends and co workers are busy judging me, because of course hes playing the convincing ‘Victim’. Theres just no words to describe the torment they create:(

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          1. Shazza, stay strong!! n/c means not checking his facebook, no texting, no talking to mutual friends about what he is doing or seeing. He will work hard to make you doubt yourself. If you ever feel week, come here for some support.
            Hugs
            Carrie

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            1. I feel like I need support as I am starting to doubt myself. It is usually when I start to feel lonely. We more more negative than positive times together and focusing on the negative helps me to realize I’m doing the right thing. My ex N didn’t go quietly, he fought me HARD for over a month. I eventually filed a restraining order. He emailed me over 200 times begging my forgiveness, admitting to his wrong doings, saying he would seek help, calling me a victim of abuse for the firs time, asking me on numerous occasions to marry him (via email without a ring haha), sending me photos of us together, photos of him crying. I don’t know why I forgive so easily. I want to HATE him and hate what he has done to me, put me through. I want to be angry and biter and have resentment. I can’t talk to my friends about how I really feel because they don’t understand. I don’t even understand. Does anyone else feel a small part of them still cares about their ex N? This man has put me through hell and back, I suffer from PTSD, anxiety, I can’t sleep without the help of medication. Instead of being addicted to him and the drama I am now addicted to pain medicine. I don’t know how I am supposed to get over this feeling of being empty on the inside. I don’t feel like ME anymore.

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            2. Omg carrie plz help…..today i have been thinking about him loads, missing him loads, my mind keeps remembering the good memories, which there were, but ended up more bad than good towards end. Its so hard coz i absolutley loved him and still do. We have only been married 3years, and my memory of our wedding day is so clear, everybody said what a beautiful wedding etc….It so hurts and im in bed at the moment almost pineing for him…..oh god help:(

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              1. Shazza, please just stay no contact!! you will be sorry if you contact him and I think you know that. 3 weeks is not very long, not long enough to get over a love, marriage, 3 years……………you need time to heal and yes it is going to hurt, sometimes worse than others; but you WILL heal and find happiness. If you go back to your ex you will get more abuse and worse, over time you will lose so much of yourself you won’t be able to leave.
                Take a long walk, write him a long letter pouring your heart out to him but don’t send it, hand write it so it takes longer, keep it for 3 days, reread it, edit it, wait a day, if you still want to send it come back here and tell me why. But I bet if you wait 3-5 days you will not send the letter and be happy you didn’t. We have to break the addiction and do a lot of self counseling, your mind is lying to you now. Like any addiction, your mind is saying, “Call, it will make you feel better. REmember how great it was?” Just like a heroin addict hears, just have a little bit, remember how good it felt, don’t you want to feel good again? what can it hurt, just a little bit” and they know it is deadly for them and they won’t be able to do just a little; they have to fight that voice in their head and so do you. You can not have any contact with him because you are not strong enough yet, you are hurting to much. Yes you loved/love him, we all did; and it hurts like hell!!!
                but it does get better
                Hugs

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                1. Hi Carrie, thanx for replying. Well i didnt contact him, and havnt written letter yet either. I did art and crafts instead and a walk. The pain is great but making myself push threw it. I don’t want to make a foolish mistake again in the heat of the moment. The memories are hard too, I no it will get easier, ile just take each day as it comes 😦

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                2. Shazza, good for you!!! If you did make contact in any way you would regret it later. You are being very smart and strong to divert your attention somewhere else. Art and crafts is a great way to do something for yourself and keep yourself busy. Good For You!!!
                  Hugs
                  Carrie

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                3. Thanx Carrie for reply. Hope you don’t mind but I’m going to need to write on here and get replys alot lately, as you are my inspiration and strength. I have wonderful grown up kids and friends for support but as we know, there’s nobody that fully understands than someone that’s been in a relationship with a N. I

                  have moments of so missing him, but make myself remember the negatives, control, rages etc. A friend of mine works at same company with him, saw him yesterday, and she said he’s got the depressed, sad as, poor me look. Can you explain excatly what that is? Wouldn’t he be happy now to be seeing everyone he likes, screwing everything in sight?

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                4. Shazza, please read more on the blog, there are many posts that go into it in detail but to give you the short version of why he is putting on the sad face is;
                  1. He knows it will get back to you. He is not done with you yet. He will eventually make a curtain call, what this whole post is about. If he can make you believe he is truly sorry you are much more likely to go back to him aren’t you?
                  2. Narcissists always play the victim
                  3. He knows you will hear about it and that means you will be thinking about him, he is still controlling your thoughts, you are still wondering what he is up to, what he is feeling, he is still toying with you; like a cat plays with a mouse he plans on killing eventually.
                  No contact means more than just you not calling him, it means not listening to people tell you what he is up to. If this friend insists on telling you what he is doing at work etc you will have to cut contact with her also because as long as he has a way of getting information to you he will control you and you will not heal and will not be able to move on. If you think you can, you are kidding yourself.
                  You have to stop trying to figure out why he does what he does because he is sick, what he does doesn’t make sense and to try and make sense of it will only drive you crazy and back into his arms.

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    3. Mistakes are fine as long as we learn from them, they can be a great teaching tool for both parties to learn from. As long as they try effort means a whole lot to me, because people these days are so eager to toss people away, when they don’t agree with you. Just because we don’t. see things eye to eye, is not a good reason to grt rid of people we all have different things in life we want and want to do! After all we can be mad at each other temporary and still want the best for each other and care dearly for each other

      Loving someone allows that, we should be able to see the true peson they are that flawed person, and not run from each other if we loved that person at all. What was the saying in the movie “Avatar” I See you, I See Into You!” meaning I see you as you truely are, you don’t need to hide from me, I will not reject you because you are not perfect and I still love you. I see all your choice of the past the stuff you never told me, and it does not cause me to push you away from me.

      I know you don’t. always tell the true, and yes I know when you do it, but I am hoping you will gain the strength to own up, and clear it out of the way we all get a chances to tell the truth about our past so try! No one is perfect we all do wrongs at times, but we can right it too if we want and we try.

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  2. Liselotte, listen to your gut!! It is your natural instincts telling you danger is near.I wish to God I had listened to my gut and not gone back the last time. Even all the other times but the last time was the one that almost killed me. And my gut was screaming at me to not do it! But I was telling myself, who lies about dying? it is everything you ever wanted to hear, what have you got to lose? OMG if only I had known what I had to lose, my soul. They will say and do ANYTHING to suck the victim back in. Go with you gut and do not second guess yourself. you are being smart!!! Stay strong!!

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    1. I cannot believe that all of these stories are mine. I was such a fool! I knew it too, but did it anyway! I lost my soul and lost my mind and pointed a gun at him when he invited a girl into our house as his mistress, I snapped! I am now a felon, but I am so lucky I can start over and get healthy again , it is a slow process!

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  3. I,m on the open letter page! I dream of this but…. Even if if it were to happen ….. Sooner or later it would be the end… Cos we are cursed with the age difference, the culture, even if he were to take me away we would have to go to another country…..

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  4. My adult twins the children of a narcisstic abuser of me then them. He passed away when they were 13. Kids started taking out anger on me They are now 31. The cycleof their abuse over and over. Last break up lasted 18 months and they are back again. This time I am not opening my arms and am setting “boundaries. This article is very heloful to keep my resolve.

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  5. Reading this is like you were sitting in the room with us the first time we saw each other after I left for two months. I’m kind of shocked that that there isn’t more of a uniqueness to the situations. It’s like they are all reading the same manual and share the same brain. It’s surreal.

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    1. GG, it is rather unnerving when you read people’s experiences and they are all so similar. They would hate to know it because they think they are so unique and special but once you find out about them, they are really predictable.
      Thanks for your comment.

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  6. Ridiculous. It’s the same story for me almost word for word. Showed up at my doorstep crying and begging for another chance. Apologized for everything he did wrong, admitted he emotionally abused me and cried about how horrible a person he was and how he wanted to be better. Sent me an email about wanting to plan our wedding and how great of a mother I would be. The difference? I am living with another, healthy, man. I was a fool and was going to choose the ex over my current bf but the mask fell after only 2 months. I apparently took too long to make my decision even after he also said “Take as long as you need I will wait for you”. He was acting fine, sending me lovey dovery things, talking about our future together, and then it seemed to stop 2-3 weeks ago and I felt the familiar gut wrench. I told him I was finally ending my current relationship and he balked. Said it was too sudden and putting too much pressure on him and he needs time to reconnect with his feelings since he was so miserable and sad that he had to not think about me the last few weeks. Classic narc bs and I am an idiot for almost falling for it again. My heart is broken all over again now.

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    1. Natalia, be thankful you found out now and not later. Sounds so typical, and I know hurtful but at least you didn’t end the relationship with the healthy man. Do you love the healthy man?

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      1. Carrie,
        I do love the healthy man. It’s why I struggled to leave him. I would attempt to break up and freeze because I know I love him and he has done nothing wrong. I let my ex’s promise of marriage and kids cloud my mind. I have wanted to be married and have kids for as long as I can remember and almost everyone I know has achieved that milestone and I’m 31. I was w my ex narc for 4 years and 3 more as just friends. I was almost over him after going nc for months, but when he showed up at my front door crying and begging for me back it was hard to see the truth. I told him I needed time because I was with someone else I cared about and I needed time to make sure I could trust him. He agreed to all of it saying I was worth waiting for. He admitted all wrongs, cried to me, said he would go to therapy, said he knew something was wrong w him. I struggled the last 7 weeks to decide between the two men, as dumb as it is because the man I’m with is wonderful. However my heart longed for those promises my ex narc gave me, it made me feel like he finally realized what I was to him and the fairytale of our kids and marriage played in my mind. I would meet up w him for dinner and text but nothing physical ever happened. However,I feel I have emotionally betrayed my boyfriend and am devastated over it. He waltzed in and crapped all over my life again and I let it happen. I am so hurt and angry. Two nights ago is when he showed his true colors, let me cry hysterically as he said he has to reconnect w his feelings. He then raged, swore at me, and basically blamed me. He said for the 7 weeks he has been so miserable and waking up in middle of night not knowing what to do, so he just stopped thinking about me and started acting single again. What is so classic narc is that three weeks ago everything was fine and somewhere he changed the game and didn’t bother to tell me. He was literally sending me those Korean art cartoons of the couple doing everyday things and telling me how much they reminded him of us and then all of a sudden the contact dropped off. We would see each other maybe once a week. During our fight he viciously yelled at me for saying good things about my new bf, how dare I only text him a few times a day when there are 24 hours in a day, and that I only bothered to see him once a week. He says that by committing to breaking up w my current bf I put too much pressure on him. He denies ever telling me anything positive about the women he dated while we were broken up, but he did. He told me to “sit tight” that he still wants me but has to take time to feel it again.
        I don’t want anything to do w him again. I took 7 weeks because I wanted to see if he was for real, I wanted to give my current partner a fair chance. I do love my current bf, it’s just that the obsession and “love” I had from all the trauma with my ex was so strong I was willing to go back. It has been tearing me apart emotionally.

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  7. I once had an experience where I got an excuse from a normal person. He happened to be out with his friends and got too drunk and then wrote an inappropriate email. He just wrote he was sorry a few days later. I wrote back ‘It doesn’t work to say your sorry if you don’t say what you’re sorry for’. I got back the best response ever. I explained, but he also pointed out that it was no excuse for writing like that. He took full responsibility of his actions. Good!

    Years later I dated a narcissist. We broke up, but the way they crawl under your skin, you know… When he realised I was really on my way out, he looked deep into my eyes and said that he was the reason that everything turned out bad. I answered ‘I know’, because every step I was thinking about my own behaviour and although we all have bad days. He was behaving very badly… He said he was sorry and I said the phrase again ‘It doesn’t work to say your sorry if you don’t say what you’re sorry for’. He said that he was sorry for complaining much about shores in the house. Like that I didn’t throw the garbage, which I did several times a week. At this time I knew he had no idea what he had done wrong.
    My brother tried to commit suicide during the short time I lived with this guy. Not holding me, asking how I was, being angry with me when I needed to rest because of the chock. He literally came in and was upset that I didn’t entertain and fed HIS daughter about 3 days after this happen to my brother.

    So, this is my advice to anyone. If someone says they’re sorry, they have to say what they’re sorry for. To take responsibility for their own actions. If he doesn’t know or want to answer that he/she might as well say cucumber or horse or some other word.

    ‘It doesn’t work to say your sorry if you don’t say what you’re sorry for’

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  8. Hell yes! My narc has gone and come back twice. Usually when I call him out for being wrong he goes intoa rage. Then he becomes even more disrespectful. Im stupid, its my fault, I made him say that, just blatantly distortions of the truth to attempt to make me cower and admit he is right. Remember a narc is never wrong. The verbal abuse is so not necessary as Im very easy going nut when you comparw my body to other women, yell, get loud, and half ass apologize? Its on! Im sorry if I offended you wont cut it. This is what started a fight hours ago, and I havent heard from him since. Mind you I aakes him three times for his wack apology for him only to snap. Please stay away for good lol. Lets see what he does. Oh he will send me an email asking me over then be real nice for a week. Im over it. No way will I marry him. I do plan to play mind games like compliment others in his face, dress sexier, ignore his jabs, and show him
    im happy when Im not with you. Operation NARS!!😈

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  9. This exact dialogue was my life 8 months ago. And I fell for it. We bought a house together. We already had three kids, so I figured… why not? Why not??? Well… he was the same abusive narc… unable to change, unwilling to change and completely enjoyed making me suffer and destroying me. I am now one week free… and one week of no contact.. this time… I’m stronger, I’m smarter and my boundaries and firmly in place. The first time he discarded me, it was like a tornado came into my world and destroyed it. This time.. I was aware of the cycle, and I was vigilant for repeat patterns. This time, even though I fell for taking him back (I am normal and HUMAN) after all, I was able to shift my feelings to non-existant. I fell out of love with the horrible behavior. I fell in love with me and my children. We deserve better. And I will never fall for that crap again. Bah Bye!

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    1. Same here! I’ve been dumb enough to to deal with this for 9 yrs. The constant lies and cheating. Hes suddenly left me and my kids 4 or 5 times now. This last time I was a stay at home mom, at his request and he left us while Im unemployed. Every time he leaves he jumps right into seeing and sleeping with as many girls as possible. He buys a new car every time and blows tons of money on random stuff. He tries to pressure me into giving him more time with our kids in order to pay less child support yet he doesn’t even see them on his scheduled days. He lies to the kids too. Every year when he has gotten himself in a financial bind and can’t find anyone else to put up with his ways he comes knocking at my door with his apologies self blame and convincing stories of me being the love of his life and needing my help to straighten up and find out why he does what he does. Im in therapy this time to make sure I DO NOT go back. I still struggle with conflicting feelings. I was completely miserable with him but then I also second guess myself when I think about him treating someone else better or thinking if I had done something different he wouldn’t act like this. I know thats all in my head and a self esteem issue! NO matter what you do or how much you love these people they will be who they are. After being this way his whole life, with hundreds of women, will he really change now? Nope!

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  10. What do you do when you’ve actually married this guy? I asked for a divorce and he’s doing all these things but every time my NC is broken I become ridden with guilt and doubt.

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  11. I cannot believe how this has all happened to me. I met this man in 2010, charming, sex gr8, everything I wnted in a man. Can’t count how many times we have broken up and got back together. Got married in 2013, happiest day Eva…..then downhill ,then good, then downhill then good. Split up again this year and got back together again 4 mnths ago. I let him move in….what a HUGE mistake. Slowly the N traits came creeping in again…put downs , control, verbal abuse etc….I am so mad at myself for being fooled yet again. I have ended it and told him to move out, now waiting for that to happen. I wnt my life back, happiness, relaxed, fun, laughing. It’s incredible how they are so good at lying,and manipulation. I am strong this time, and eyes wide open, I can see so clear now. Enough is enough.

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    1. Maureen, it doesn’t matter when you see the light as long as you eventually do. You will be waiting a long time for him to move out though, they very rarely “just move out”, it’ amazing how they can stick around even when they know they aren’t wanted, my ex dragged it on for years. I never knew if we were split or a couple, one day we were split and the next he was telling me he loved me and the years slipped away. True healing will not occur until you go no contact. Once he is out of the house no contact is the only way, or at least the easiest and quickest way to get over them and find happiness.
      Good luck! We are here if you need moral support.
      Hugs

      Like

      1. Well he moved out….been just over 2wks…I’ve had a rollercoaster of emotions….feel strong today. I blocked him off my Facebook as he was putting up posts playing the “victim”. All our mutual friends to see….alot of them believe him which I found fustrating!! Now he’s doing the smear campaign to anyone that will listern. Why are people so stupid to believe him without thinking there’s two sides to every story!! Anyway if they are going to get sucked in that easily there not real friends. I have found out a definite 2 women that he’s been shagging whilst married to me…and I no them both. Mind blowing!!!!!!

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    2. Maureen, it doesn’t matter when you see the light as long as you eventually do. You will be waiting a long time for him to move out though, they very rarely “just move out”, it’ amazing how they can stick around even when they know they aren’t wanted, my ex dragged it on for years. I never knew if we were split or a couple, one day we were split and the next he was telling me he loved me and the years slipped away. True healing will not occur until you go no contact. Once he is out of the house no contact is the only way, or at least the easiest and quickest way to get over them and find happiness.
      Good luck! We are here if you need moral support.
      Hugs

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  12. This is shocking, I made up with my narc bf this weekend after 5 weeks and he had three girls during this time. He said all these words and he was crying and saying am the ONLY one for him. I for sure fell into his trap again. He even took me to a very expensive weekend away and was talking and treating me like a princess from the fairy tales. He had gotten rid if me so quickly saying he does not love me anymore and i was devastated. But i was recovering when he coiled back with all these apologies. I asked him if he was a narcissist…he said YES…. and he seems proud of it.

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    1. Oh my gdness….oh I am so sorry that happened to you. These people are heartless, self absorbed nutheads!! Who the he’ll do they think they are playing with people’s minds and hearts. They make me sick!! 2weeks into being away fm my N husband. 3rd time broken away, and i intend for it to be the last. Is women deserve so much betta….and so do you. Break away, get strong, and stay away. All the best.

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    2. Koe, they feel they are superior because they do not feel like a normal person.They see normal people as weak and easy targets, deserving of their abuse.
      No contact means, no contact whatsoever, no FB, no talking to mutual friends, no emails or text messages; no just you not contacting him, you have to make it impossible for him to contact you. As long as you have any contact he will find a way to make you doubt yourself.
      Come here often, educate yourself and we are here for moral support and strength.
      HUgs

      Like

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