My mom called, well texted saying she wanted to buy me lunch yesterday so I met her in Surrey because I still had to drop off my tax returns. (The really dumb thing is that the taxation office was shut down permanently the first of Oct and you just leave whatever you are dropping off in a drop box so I could have left them on Friday sheesh)
We met across the street at Swiss Chalet, and I was on time! I was surprised when she started talking about what I went through with JC and she was acknowledging she didn’t understand but she was trying. We talked a bit about the blog and how I am so shocked there are so many women going through the same thing. I was telling her about JC’s comments and that it actually had been a good thing because it so totally showed what a scum bag, low life he really is and how stupid he is.
She said she remembered one time about 28 years ago, my folks had split in January and it was Mother’s Day. My son and I were over at my mother’s house and my dad pulled up and started giving me shit because I didn’t come see him. I had said, “It’s Mothers day for God’s sake why would I go spend the day with you?” He had been really pissed, Kris was only like 3 or 4 and was crying and his grandpa totally ignored him and gave my mom and I shit for ganging up on him and I don’t remember what all and then he got in his truck and peeled out of there. Little Kris was standing right there and got spewed with gravel and I was furious.
My mom wanted me to go apologize and I refused but finally relented because she was so upset. I had to drive an hour to get to my dad’s and he had a real attitude. I forget what all was said, it isn’t important; what made me feel better was that she had obviously been thinking about our conversation the last time we were together. She must have realized that maybe she/my childhood/my dad was a contributing factor to me staying with JC as long as I did. I was raised to tolerate “make nice” “walk on egg shells” and ask forgiveness even when I did nothing wrong. That is why I won’t apologize to my step dad either; just to make peace.
That is the first time I really felt she understood some of what I went through. It’s not that I ever blamed her for my upbringing, she apologized years ago for not leaving or standing up to him more but I know she did the best she could at the time. What hurt was when I got in a similar relationship she couldn’t understand why I stayed and said she would never have stayed but was with my dad 30 years. Her father was very abusive, my dad was her one and only boyfriend and she got married at 17, so I can understand, and that is all I wanted; to be understood.
I think she kinda gets it! It felt really good! Like a weight off my shoulders.
Yesterday was a good day and so was today!
I love you guys!