Can You Recognize A Psychopath?

Most of society thinks all psychopaths look like this and they would know one if they saw one.

Most of society thinks all psychopaths look like this and they would know one if they saw one.

These are the sweet babies this man killed they were ages 4, 6, and 10 at the time he killed them.

These are the sweet babies this man killed they were ages 4, 6, and 10 at the time he killed them.

Ok, class, can anyone point out the psychopath? We all know what a psychopath looks like, right? People don’t even realize they do it but our minds are programmed to look at an attractive person and assume they are normal nice people and a psychopath looks like this guy.

Who wouldn’t know this man is crazy?

A few years ago in a small town called Merritt in BC this man’s estranged wife left their three children in the care of her ex husband and went away for the weekend. She came home to her find the two youngest boy’s cold dead bodies wrapped in blankets on the couch and her 10 year old daughter wrapped in a blanket on her bed stabbed to death. Her three small children murdered and left for her to find and her ex gone.

After an extensive man hunt he was found by a trapper hiding out in the bush. He was very afraid the man was going to shoot him, poor fellow.

This incident has caused the Child Welfare Department in BC to take another look at how domestic violence cases are handled. Like I said in my letter to our premier what concerns me about Child Welfare getting involved mother’s are going to be less likely to report abuse for fear their children will be taken away. The answer to the problem is to support and educate the mother. Empower the mother and she will protect her children. Train the authorities like the police and court to believe the mother when she says she thinks she or her children are in danger and don’t enforce visitation with an abusive ex.

By the way, he was found guilty of first degree murder (they provided it was premeditated) but was found “not criminally responsible” because he “was” mentally unstable at the time and was suffering from delusional mind disease.(What ever that is) Three years after he killed his three innocent children by stabbing them to death he was granted supervised day trips to the mall to have coffee. One year prior he had asked to be released period and been denied because while in the mental hospital he had been violent and refused to take his meds. So not being stupid, he went back to the hospital, was a good boy, played by their rules and in one year tried a more reasonable approach. He is playing them, he actually feels he has a right to go to the mall for coffee? That he is deprived of his rights and he should be able to walk through the mall and have a leisurely cup of Starbucks, I’m sure his ex wife wishes that was the only thing missing from her life.

I have always questioned these cases where the murderer is found to have been “temporarily insane”, what sane person goes and kills someone? Of course they are insane!!! the parole board insisted he be supervised (duh!) because he still has unresolved anger issues and he was not to contact his ex wife, have any knives and he must take his meds. I have not heard any more about the case in almost a year.

The Crown prosecutor cautioned the board that Al Schoenborn is a very manipulative person. In court Crown tried to prove Schoenborn killed his children in cold blood out of revenge because his ex wife repeatedly refused his requests to reconcile.

The point I want to make is this; society sees this guy’s picture and immediately can see that of course this guy is deranged! Its written all over his face. The picture was taken during his arrest after he had been in the bush without food for almost 9 days. He was afraid for his own safety because he had just murdered his three children and he knew people would be more than happy to shoot him, of course he is not looking his best. (The trapper who found him said he was terrified the trapper was going to hurt him)

We don’t know what he looked like when his ex wife met him. You can see the potential for him to be a good looking man. I don’t know their story, how they met etc but I would bet money that it is very similar to many of the stories we read right here on this blog. That woman and her children could be anyone of the women who come in here, given the right (wrong) set of circumstances. Exactly at what point does a Narcissist fall off the precarious fence he walks between good and evil, when does a psychopath crack and “make you pay” for allegedly “not loving him” or for being too suspicious? For nagging too much.
They want to destroy you, they’ve made that obvious by draining you financially, emotionally, and mentally. If he has hit you in the past, he always knew when to stop and he never hurt the kids. (Like JC said, “don’t be ridiculous, I know exactly when to stop”) But there is a fine line with that kind of control, they know it is wrong to hit you but they still do so if he was angry enough, he knows when to stop but would he? What if the one thing that kept you going was your kids and you kept refusing to go back? What if he wanted to destroy your life forever, so you would never forget him. What exactly would put him over the edge? Are you willing to wait and find out?

Unfortunately society thinks they would recognize a murderer because these are the picture they see on the news. They don’t think it could be the good looking guy living next door, or the guy who is in class with their daughter that keeps calling. They don’t wear a big “P” on their forehead (although that’s a damn good idea).

I don’t know if anyone else experienced this with their “N” but with JC, he would take good care of himself, dress well, be personable, loving, good humored; the man I fell in love with. With time little cracks appeared in his mask, but he was able to carry it off for a long period of time; like a year or more before the mask fell completely.

That is when he would get scary, when I would find him watching me from the shadows, find hidden cameras, he would sleep less, he would destroy my personal possessions and he would have his “rages” over nothing, when the look in his eyes was loathing and I could tell he hated me, I could do nothing right yet he would prevent me from leaving. Who knows what he was thinking, it certainly wasn’t rational.

You doubt yourself, you think maybe it was your fault he treated you so badly, how long do you stay? Would you recognize a psychopath if you slept with one?


9 thoughts on “Can You Recognize A Psychopath?

  1. Have you heard of the West Memphis Three? Three young men from Arkansas who were accused of murdering three young boys in their neighborhood because they wore black, listened to Heavy Metal, and was the outsiders of their community. There are three documentaries about them.


    1. no Michael i haven’t heard of them is that recently? i wanted a show not long ago on tv about children who have committed horrendous crimes and one young boy killed a 4 yr old little boy he enticed out of the mall. It is scary that a child would kill an innocent little boy he didn’t even know just to kill. what is happening to our kids?


      1. Their release was current (last year), but they had to sign an Alford plea in order to be released. They have been in prison since 94.

        We get the show you described here, I haven’t seen it yet.

        On an unrelated note; I got to check out the RedGreen Show. It was pretty funny, I am convinced Billy Bob Thorton stole the way he talks in the movie Sling Blade from this show.


  2. the psycopath is the charming man who just got engaged to your sister and whom every one thinks is a gentleman. this man above is mentally ill obviously, the amazing thing is that a woman would produce 3 children with him ?


    1. Dee, you don’t know what he was like when she met him. JC was so charming and dressed well when I met him. Once we were together and committed he started to change to where he would go days without a shower, stopped dressing well unless he was going out, he was withdrawn and preoccupied, would say and do weird things. It didn’t happen when he moved in on me when I had a place, it only happened the two times he was paying the rent and we were “engaged”, it was like the commitment was too much for him. there were days he had the same look as the this guy, vacant, and that is when i was really scared. i wasn’t afraid of his rages, it was when he withdrew and spied on me, was plotting. It’s hard to describe. but it wasn’t regular abuse.


  3. I agree w/ Dee. It could be anyone. Mental illness intensifies rage of course but even seemingly “normal” people do things “not normal” when pushed and under extreme duress.

    I believe the biggest tell tale sign between the the normal and the phsycotic it the “empathy” factor and the “remorse” factor.

    Truthfully, when I lived with my EX N hubby, I almost killed him, really. Held a shotgun to his drunken sick warped head and took off the safety. Not proud of it but it got that bad. And it got him out of the house temporarily but out. And it got me help, because , the minute I did that I KNEW without a doubt I was really really sick. Immediately called a crisis line for help. And that is the difference. I KNEW what was happening to me. I was out of control. They don’t care. They are indifferent. If that happened to one of us, would we have gone back? He came back that same day, was calm cool and collected. WHO acts that way? Never even mentioned it. Inappropriate reasons. I see it all so clearly now. Back then I didn’t know about N’s. Thought he just had a drinking problem so I got myself into Alanon, they saved my life. I never even dated so much as another drunk, drinker or bar fly. Thought ok, I am good now. NOT The “N factor” keeps turning up…


    1. Ellie, I can relate to feeling like I could kill my ex. When I found him at the married woman’s house and he was so cocky and indifferent I got in my truck to leave and went to the end of the street to turn around and he had gotten in his car and was just sitting in it. I turned around and was barreling down on his car, my truck had straight pipes and was diesel so it was loud and I had my foot to the floor I came so close to ramming his car. I thought, “I’ll wipe that smug look off his face.” I swerved around him in the nick of time and slammed on the brakes and he didn’t even look up. If I would have hit him I would have killed him or severely injured him and I could have never lived with myself but for a few minutes I lost it.

      that is what separates us from them, we may think about it but we don’t do it and that is when we are pushed beyond anything any body should have to endure. And when we did think about it we were going to do it to them, not innocent children. plus it was not premeditated, it was in a fit of rage. it’s scary that a person can be brought to that point and a definite sign that the relationship is unhealthy to say the least but with me it was a fleeting thought, I didn’t worry that I would have done it or would do it.


      1. Know exactly what U mean.
        U did the same when I found him with his new woman in his car.
        Could have rammed the backside of it – but then thought, he ain’nt worth it. Looked at me at though I was a piece of dirt – Didn’nt recognise him anymore – a different person – differerent agenda. They are just plain EVIL.


Don't be shy, add your comments

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.