I didn’t take it personally because he didn’t blame me, he took responsibility for his actions. It may not have been the healthiest of relationships but I would never consider it abusive and I can see where I did things wrong in the relationship also.
Do you see the difference? Do you understand the point I am trying to make?
You can not be responsible for the demise of a relationship when you weren’t aware of all the behind the scenes things going on, you can’t take responsibility for a relationship that was based on lies. How can you? You were never given the chance to have a relationship with “him” because he never presented himself honestly.
I hope this helped a few people see that you really did all that you could under the circumstances; the relationship was doomed from day one the only variable with these relationships is how long it takes for the victim to discover the lies and when the N meets a better prospect; he will be looking the whole relationship but he is not going to leave a sure thing until he meets a woman that can offer him something he needs more than what you offer (you are probably drained by then) and he has that woman firmed hooked. So that means it could be months or years depending on whether he even meets a woman that falls for his bull shit. I am sure now that JC dated many women during our 10 years but a lot of them figured out he was living with someone, or they weren’t giving enough for him, or I got suspicious and he had to curtail it for awhile. Lots of variables but only one final result; he will discard the victim eventually.