Ever Have a Horrible Night Mare?

You sit bolt upright in bed; your heart is about to pound right out of your chest, you gasp for air, all your senses are on overload. Your eyes dart around the room, slowly you come fully awake and realize you are in your bed and you are safe; it was just another night mare.

Even though you know it was just a bad dream you are too nervous to sleep; every muscle in your body is twitching, your adrenaline is pumping and you can’t shake that horrible feeling of doom that enveloped you. You start to cry; when will the night mares stop. Why does he have to haunt your sleep too.

That is the way I have felt all day, like I am waking up from a horrible, horrible night mare and I have just realized I am safe, everything is ok, but I am filled with conflicting emotions; relief that its over, anxiety from the memory of the bad dream and a natural instinct to want to run from danger even though there is none there.

You see, my night mare is over; I woke up this afternoon from a night mare that has consumed me for 12 years, a night mare I struggled to get out of but couldn’t wake up from.

My cake got iced, my ordeal got wrapped up with a pretty little bow. Its over……..my night mare is over and its ending exactly where it started. It is almost surreal.

Ok, what am I talking about? JC was right, she is nuts!!

As you all know I have had this “Trailer Project” I have been trying to get off the ground and I’ve hit stumbling blocks at every turn. I believe that if something is too much work maybe you need to rethink the whole situation; maybe it isn’t meant to be.

I have been checking the bulletin board at Everglades Resort every month to see if any new places were up for sale. Last week there were several new notices on the board, even a rent to own lot that turned out to be too small for my trailer. I called on another one but it had a 26′ trailer on it already. And then there was an ad that I had seen before but hasn’t given much thought to. A 500 sq ft cabin, on the water, it comes with another empty lot elsewhere in the resort and they want $120,000. There was a phone number and a message saying to call or text message for more info.

The guy that owns the trailer I am in called last week and said he might need the trailer back because he might have work in Alberta. At first he said he needed to be in Alberta by the 20th of Feb. He needed a few days travel time so we agreed I would have it ready to go by the 15th. I explained that I work full time now and don’t have the luxury of taking a day off whenever I need to and it is dark when I get home, its impossible to clean and pack with the dogs there so really I was going to find it tough to get it done but I would find a way. I arranged with Colin for him to babysit the “kids” while I packed up the trailer and gave it a good cleaning. Colin’s apartment is almost finished and he offered for me and my dogs to move into his trailer and he would move into his suite. It was a very generous offer but I so wanted my own place to call home. Then Jim called to ask when I would be done with the trailer, I said,” what do you mean? We agreed it would be ready on the 15th”.
Jim said now he had to be in Alberta on the 15th. I informed him again that I work all day and its dark when I get home; let alone I have no water or power to clean with. He said,” Well how late do you wk?”
I was getting annoyed now, I told him I work 9-5 like most people and it gets dark at 5. I said don’t worry about it, I’ll have it ready by the 10th. I want out of here in the worst way and I want him out of my life right along with the trailer. This whole situation has been another disaster. He only put me up here because he thought hrs could guilt me into having sex with him, throughout the whole time I’ve been here he has not given up trying and I am angry now. If he would have ensured I had water and sewer and not expected sexual favors I would be alot more thankful but as it stands I felt taken advantage of abduction victimized further and now I resent that he brought me up here on the premise he was helping me and it almost did me in. It was so close to being the straw that broke the camel’s back that every day I was sure I could not survive another day. I don’t know how I did survive it; it was absolutely horrific and has cost me thousands in destroyed property from mice and being exposed to the elements. It finished off my business because it was costing me so much in fuel and I was so far away from any friends who could help me when my truck broke down. It has been extremely difficult to work full time from here, the commute of over an hour each way has made for very long days.

Anyway the pressure was on to find a place to put the trailer; but then I still didn’t have the registration in my name because the transfer papers I was given has the wrong name on it and we were having to jump through a bunch of hoops and are still looking at a month or more before I will have it in my name and THEN I still have to get the propane system certified, fix the shouts, and find a place that will take it.

I finally thought I’ve got nothing to lose, I’ll never know if I don’t ask; and text messaged the number on the ad for the cabin. I laid it out short and sweet. well, here I will copy and paste what I said…. hang on I’ll be right back.

Here it is
I saw your ad at Everglades. I am going to throw an offer at you; because I’ll never know if I don’t try. I won’t bore you with my long sob story. I have a blog, “Ladywithatruck.wordpress.com that chronicles it all & will tell you anything you want to know about me. I left a 10 yr abusive relationship, 2 yrs ago with my clothes & dog & have been struggling to get back on my feet since. I recently got a great job in marketing and as a buyer for CCon Steel in Abby. I make $40,000 plus com/yr, have a com vehicle, fuel card etc. I can well afford paments, but my credit sucks. I hope we can work out a rent-to-own agreement for 5 yrs and then I pay you out the balance. If I renege you get your cabin back. I have excellent character references.
Thx Carrie

About an hour later I received this reply:

Hello Carrie, maybe we can work something out. A big part of renting is that we owners are only allowed to rent from May to October. Resort regs. But if you own it, year round is fine and dogs are certainly allowed.
Would it be possible to maybe meet up on Sunday so you can see the cabin?
Regards, Astrid

In subsequent messages she told me it was lot #47. Now this is where it gets rather spooky. You see in 2001 JC was hired by the developer of Everglades as the water/sewer tech. JC and I made a rent-to-own agreement on a house on lot #41 and that is where we had the experience with the spirit, where the abuse started etc. That was where the ending of JC and I started and carried on for the next 10 years.
JC was fired from his position after 3 months (I had no idea at the time that months was about how long all JC’S jobs last) we stayed in the house a year and then I rented a small trailer in the resort and that is where JC ambushed Kris and I. The developer kicked JC out of the park after that and took back his clicker for the security gate. (unbeknownst to anyone JC had made himself half a dozen clickers while he was working there and had spares) JC was stalking me even with the restraining order so I was moving and asked for the letter of reference from the developer who wrote me a glowing letter that brought tears to my eyes. The developer’s Life’s name was Astrid.

I remembered then that they had a run down shack a few doors down from JC and I that they never used.

Could it be the same Astrid?

I found out today, at 1o’clock, I walked up and saw a woman waiting in a car in the driveway of this cute little cabin. I wasn’t sure I had the right place; it looked nothing like I remembered it. The woman got out of her car and introduced her

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21 Replies to “Ever Have a Horrible Night Mare?”

  1. “introduced her….” cliffhanger!!

    I hope, I hope.

    And yes, I’ve had those night mares – the difficulty of accepting a good life after so much crap. Impossible to explain, but true.

    Re the premise of a helping hand, he can go fk himself. Hadn’t given up trying? ARSEHOLE. Such PRESSURE ffs.

    Hoping for you Carrie…

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    1. Noeleen, …….”herself, and I shook her hand and said,”Actually we’ve met before”. And I told her who I was and then her husband showed up and gave me hug. I don’t really know how, but an hour later I was leaving there with a cabin to call home.
      I am numb with disbelief at how my life has fallen into place.I think you will understand
      when I say that for the first time in my life I am embracing my good fortune. When someone congratulates me I tell them, “Thank you, I deserve it, I earned it”.
      And I believe it. It isn’t a mistake, I don’t think I ever believed I deserved the good things that happened to me.

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  2. Oh Carrie, I so pray that this works for you and you can get your life together. Having never met you, I feel as though you are family.
    God bless and waiting impatiently for the rest of the story.

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    1. Ray’s Mom, you do feel like family and I can feel your hug across the miles.
      I made it!!!! And I have such a great cheering squad waiting at the finish line! Or is it the starting line?
      Thanks for all your encouragement and support!

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  3. Hello!!! dont keep us hanging like that, we are already suffering with post traumatic stress! ha ha couldnt work out if this is good or bad are you going to get this trailer/cabin?

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    1. I am sorry guys! I didn’t realize only 1/2 of my post showed up. I didn’t mean to leave you in suspense.I will give details later because I have to go now to sign the papers making me the owner of my dream cottage at the lake.One month ago life looked pretty bleak, even last week I had no money, no credit, no furniture, no place to live and had lost hope of ever owning a home again.In one week……. It all turned around. By some miracle I have become the owner of an adorable 500 sq ft cabin, it sits on the lake front, has two weeping willows, is completely redone and needs nothing, they have left the furniture, including tv and stereo, I can have the dogs, and well, they gave me an unheard of deal that I will explain later.I move on Sunday to my little piece of heaven on earth. It is the house I prayed for.Never lose hope!! Never stop believing in miracles. Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus and wishes do come true!!HugsCarrieSent by Carrie the Lady Witha Truck

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  4. this site is also a great place to get information, you don’t post comments, but i subscribed to her mailing list and about once a week i get a great email with real world advice. i cannot afford a therapist but this lady knows her stuff. she does offer telephone consultations, if i had the money i would do it, but subscribing to her emails has been great and helpful. google linda martinez-,lewi
    The Narcissist In Your Life
    Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D. Clinical Expert on the Narcissistic Personality

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      1. good to be a witness to your dream coming true, gives us all hope.. sending hugs!! next week is my meeting with fate, sending out a prayer to the universe, pls stand with me. I will hear the judges decision. love to you Carrie

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