The picture at the top of my truck is the load I had loaded the day before my heart attack, I wasn’t able to insert it where I wanted and it showed up at the top. Oh well, bigger things to concern myself with.
When commenting on my post yesterday “I Am Not Dealing Well” Donna mentioned I should Google ” Broken Heart Syndrome” so I Googled it this morning and was hit with an epiphany! That is what I have!! So many things make sense now.
Broken Heart Syndrome is a condition caused by severe stress and is 7-9 times more likely to affect women than men. A report done by the Mayo Clinic says it can be brought on by surge of stress hormones such as adrenaline, which temporarily enlarges part of the heart and it doesn’t pump well while the rest of the heart pumps normally or even more forcefully. It was originally called takotsubo cardiomyopathy. The symptoms are treatable and usually reverse themselves with a few weeks.
A typical stressful event that may bring on Broken Heart Syndrome are, a sudden death of a loved one, a big financial loss, domestic abuse, sudden job loss etc
The systems of Broken Heart Syndrome are:
– Chest pain
– Shortness of breath
– An irregular heart beat
– A generalized weakness
– Back up of fluid in the lungs
They say that it is reversible in most cases, but it does damage the heart and it makes sense then that prolonged stress can do permanent damage and in some cases can be fatal.
Interestingly enough I had a heart attack in November 2011, almost a year after leaving JC. I had been working very hard that day and loaded a big load on my truck.
That night I was very tired and had pain between my shoulder blades, I assumed I had just pulled a muscle or was coming down with something. I sat down on the couch and promptly fell asleep. I woke up 12 hours later with my coat still on. It was Saturday and I had to get the load off my truck so I forced myself to get up. I unloaded my truck, feeling worse as the day wore on and by 2 I decided to just go home to rest. I had indigestion all day and I still had this pain between my shoulders so I thought maybe a soak in a hot tub would help, but the hot bath only intensified the pain. I was sitting on the couch, when my right arm went numb and then felt like dead weight. I knew then that I was in trouble, so I Googled heart attack and found out I was right. I took the dogs for a pee and fed them, then got dressed and drove myself to the hospital, still thinking it was probably nothing and they would send me home. But I called my son just in case, to tell him I loved him. He in turn called a good friend, Isaac who is a trucker and just happened to be in town at the time; Isaac rushed to the hospital.
When I got to the hospital they immediately hooked me up to machines and admitted me, I was having a heart attack. I insisted I had to go home to my dogs and they laughed at me, I wasn’t allowed out of bed to go pee for 5 days. I was taken by ambulance to New Westminster for a special dye test, where they pump dye into your veins to detect any blockages.
There were no blockages, my cholesterol levels were normal, I had none of the usual reasons for having a heart attack, I am not over weight, no high cholesterol, no blockages, I am not a drinker, I lead an active relatively healthy life but they could see obvious damage done to my heart and asked me if I had been severely ill lately and I couldn’t think of anything.
I was released from the hospital and told to take 6 weeks off, and was back working in 2 days. Who was going to pay the bills?
I have noticed I get out of breath easier since but basically haven’t had any problems since; except, the last couple of weeks. The first time Colin and I had sex I couldn’t breath, I was fighting for breath the whole time and by the time we finished I was gasping for air and had to ask him to get off me. The slightest weight on my chest made me feel like I was suffocating.
The next time wasn’t as bad, but I have developed fluid on my lungs the last few weeks, waking up in the night to cough. I can feel the fluid in my lungs like when you’ve had a bad chest cold and you have to cough up the phlegm. It has concerned me because although I am a smoker I have never had a cough, but now it makes sense.
The trouble breathing while having sex had gone away and I was able to relax and really enjoy making love.
Since I walked in to Colin’s the other night I have had terrible shortness of breath, shaking, and have felt I could have another heart attack. Yesterday, I was having such a hard time with my truck and he had such an attitude, I literally thought I would pass out and there was no compassion or concern from him just distain and anger, so reminiscent of JC I even called him James by mistake once.
I know my reaction to Colin is not strictly from what Colin has done but it is more to do with JC, its just that Colin is another narcissist and it only makes sense that dealing with him would cause me to think of JC.
Very interesting stuff. The doctors did tell me I have permanent damage to my heart now which is kinda scary that the bastards can physically break your heart. And you can die from a broken heart. It makes what Colin did even more vile and incomprehensible.
Hugs to you all