An Apology is Only an Apology if There is Change

This reblog is for Fee, I think she can use it right now.

Ladywithatruck's Blog

As most victims of narcissistic abuse you have probably spent hours surfing the net collecting all the information you can on the subject. You are amazed at how your partner fits the description to a tee, right down to the fact that he never apologies, of sure he’s given “apologies” like: “I’m sorry you made me do that” “If you hadn’t done …….. I wouldn’t have done >>>>>>>” , “If I got sex more at home I wouldn’t look elsewhere”, any way you have been there and know what I am talking about.

So when he calls out of the blue or shows up at your door after no contact for weeks or maybe even months and is crying and looks like a little boy who’s lost his mother and begs you to talk to him for just a few minutes, you cautiously let him speak. After all you are curious…

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7 thoughts on “An Apology is Only an Apology if There is Change

  1. I recently received an apology….he stated he never ever wanted to hurt me again..that since the war and his suicide ordeal..he has changed…especially since he quit drinking… he said he will strive to be better..that even though he knows we have no chance…he will show me…and that he will make me proud of him again….I could have said so much in response….but choose to keep quiet…

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    • Anonymous, sorry for the slow response. I am sure it was very hard to listen and not say anything. If he is sincere time will tell. My big mistake was immediately taking him back, had I waited I would have saved myself alot of heart ache and money.
      Hugs
      Carrie

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      • Well..he’s not sincere….I received word from a family member of his that he has been trashing me ….It’s okay…I am just numb to him now…I feel nothing….how weird is that??

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  2. Carrie…i dont know what to say. I only know what i know now because of you and your site. I thankyou from the bottom of my heart for giving me atleast power in knowledge..
    your wonderful..and one day i will grow into the woman i want to be..and i know you will have helped me get there.
    x

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    • Fee, damn it I replied to this already and I don’t see it!
      Good luck Hon! Truly, I hope everything works out for you. I know what it feels like to go back to the N and no one supports your decision, everyone is mad at you and you are so determined to make it work this time. I really hope I am wrong about him and he is truly sorry and will make you very happy and prove himself trustworthy.

      But if it doesn’t work out please don’t hesitate to come back here for support and a shouldrt to cry on. I won’t say I told you so, I’ll say,” been there done that”. And please don’t ever feel you can’t leave him even if you have nothing. You are a beautiful woman with an even more beautiful heart, and you are loved and cherished.

      My prayers go with you.
      Hugsxx
      Carrie

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  3. ABSOLUTELY, that is the essence of an apology: change wrought.

    Good on you Carrie, still vocalising.

    I hope you personally are doing okay too, re accommodation & other work. xx

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