There is one huge difference between the relationship I had with JC and every other romantic relationship I ever had in my life; well there were several BIG differences but this one might have prevented the other ones.
The one big difference? Friendships.
In all my past relatuonships I had girl friends that I associated with on a regular basis, I worked in an office where I talked to other women at least an hour a day and I had become close friends with half a dozen of them. I had friends I’d had for years, women who all got together to make fools of themselves at ladies night at the strip club, girlfriends who alternated whose house we gathered at with appetizers and wine to discuss guys; kids, being single, the new dress we just bought and what shoes to wear with it, and childbirth and teenagers and “Am I too old to have long hair?” I had my girlfriend at the lake, also a single mom; I can’t tell you how many nights we sat on the dock drinking wine watching the sun set while our kids played; both too broke to go out.
And when I met a man, my girlfriends were part of my package, there was me, my son and my girlfriends and if he could fit in there good for him, if not… Well…. Cya!!!!
I remember my first husband home from the hospital, bedridden, and a girlfriend called very distraught because her boyfriend had talked her into having an abortion. I got my hubby something to eat, a jug of water, the bed pan and was out the door, baby in tow in less than 30 minutes. Thats what girlfriends do, we are there for each other.
Somehow JC managed to put distance between my friends and I. Partly the problem was the company I had worked for had closed and now I was working with all men but then JC and I moved to a difference town. We were always moving, there was always drama, uncertainty, my car never worked and before I knew it I never saw my friends any more. And then I was embarassed because of how I had allowed my life to deteriorate. But part of the reason it had gotten so bad was because I didn’t have my friends loving me just the way I was and telling me I deserved better.
I was feeling really down yesterday and on a whim drove past my girlfriend’s to see if she was home. My cell phone was dead and I usually call before I visit but I stopped anyway. I can’t tell you all we talked about; for sure some of it was very private and stuff reserved for a good girlfriend, we laughed alot, we talked about past loves, Googled a couple of guys names, and 2 hpurs later when I left I was no longer stressed or depressed. My problems hadn’t changed but my attitude had.
Girlfriends nurture your soul vs the narcissist who rapes your soul
.In an evening class at Stanford University the last lecture was on the mind-body connection — the relationship between stress and disease.The speaker (head of psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman. . . whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends.
At first everyone laughed, but he was serious.
Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality “girlfriend time” helps us to create more serotonin — a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being.
Women share feelings, whereas men often form relationships around activities. We share from our souls with our sisters/mothers, and evidently that is very GOOD for our health. He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym.There’s a tendency to think that when we are “exercising” we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged? Not true.
In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking!
So every time you hang out to schmooze with a gal pal, just pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing something good for your health!
We are indeed very, very lucky. Sooooo let’s toast to our friendship with our girlfriends.
Evidently it’s very good for our health.
Thanks to all the girls in my life who have helped me stay healthy, happy, and feeling very loved.
Posted by Carrie Reimer the Lady WithaTruck