31 things BC can do to end violence against women – Jane Doe Legal Network

http://www.janedoelegal.org/31_things?page=2

I don’t know how I’ve missed this site up until now.

Ten or so years ago I tried to leave JC, I called the police, I reached out looking for emotional and financial support and protection from a man I feared could kill me. I felt like I continually ran into brick walls, to describe it as unsympathetic would be generous on my part; I felt more like the brunt of a private joke and an inconvenience to social services and the police. I found the people I dealt with to be condescending and dismissive, often talking to me like I was lacking the brains to understand the process.

” No I do not understand why you are telling me there is a 6 week waiting period for social assistance when I just told you I just took my abusive husband’s truck to escape him and come to you for help”

“No I don’t understand why you don’t know if there are resources for abused women”

“No I don’t care that its your coffee break; did you hear me? I can’t go back and have no where to go”.

“No I will not settle down”

Yes I understand, it isn’t your problem but I don’t understand why you don’t make it your problem; you are a woman”.

“I don’t understand how I can be ambushed by my abusive ex and when the police get here they talk to him first and tell me to not start anything!”

“I don’t understand how a police officer can laugh and joke with the abuser; does he not have a sister, mother, daughter?”

“I don’t understand why when I called the Domestic Abuse Hotline listed in the phone book I was told that due to government cutbacks there is no room at any shelters and no one who can come and talk to me.”

After awhile a person just gives up, I am just so grateful I didn’t have children to protect.

I cry thinking about the injustices against women and children for decades!! No help, no options, blamed and shamed into silence.

Well no more, women all over the world are standing up and speaking out.

You may feel you are “just” one voice; but there is a rumbling coming from every corner of the world.

When thousands of people use their voice to speak out about an injustice all those voices can be deafening and the powers that be must acknowledge and address the problem.

Never stop speaking out against domestic violence.

Posted by Carrie Reimer the Lady WithaTruck

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12 Replies to “31 things BC can do to end violence against women – Jane Doe Legal Network”

  1. Something must be done when domestic abuse doesn’t mean the physical hitting of either sex ok.I mean when a spouse of ANY sex is violated with verbal,emotional,mental,psychological all from a scale of suble to brutal.NO EXCUSE

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    1. Lisa, very true; men are abused by women all the time and if they defend themselves they go to jail usually. Emotional abuse usually leaves very deep scars also and much harder to prove than physicsal abuse.

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  2. Carrie, I was treated same, asked “what are you doing HERE” in my own house by police (all male) and yet HE smashed the house apart and they told me a man can do anything he wants in his own house in BC. It was nightmarish. I don’t drink or smoke or anything but I was so stricken by the blatant lack of support for me when they took him aside to talk to him and then told me I had to leave (he told them I was DRIVING HIM CRAZY) – jESUS – ANYWAY. Unable to drive or anything else, I was shaking like a leaf and the ambulance drove me to the hospital where I was able to calm down thanks to a nurse talking to me and by the time the doctor saw me, he said:”I see no reason to keep you here, you are free to go.” Stealthily, I cabbed back to the house for my car and left in the wee hours driving into sun rise and thinking the whole world of “boys clubs” have just gone all too far and these people need to be educated in dealing with TRAUMA as well as USERS/ABUSERS/MANIPULATORS. I called the station and asked for the higher body to complain to and they said, don’t you want to speak to our supervisor first? NO, I said, because I already KNOW how you are NOT trained. I want to effect a positive change, not feed into the unfair system that already is. Haven’t had the strength to do it yet. I will soon, I hope. TAkes a lot of energy and emotional wringing out to go through this nevermind your personal battle to wellness. Much love for this piece, you are a light on my path to healing xo

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    1. Janice, it boogles my mind we lived in the same town and had the same experience with the police here. Redneck country and an old boys club, unbelieveable in this day and age.
      When the time is right you will know when to speak out and you will do ioqu.

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      1. Oopps sorry Janice, my screen froze and posted itself lol. Well thats my story anyway and I’m sticking to it. Lol
        Some times when we want to do something but just can’t seem to bring ourselves to do it, its because the time just isn’t right.
        You will have your day to speak and when you do you will do it eloquently.
        There, THAT is what I was trying to say!
        Love and Hugs
        Carrie

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    1. Andro! The pleasure of another visit by you! I am honored!!. I am afraid I haven’t made it over to your site, I have been so busy!! But thank you so much for the invite; I am sure it is devilishly delicious and wickedly decadent.

      Thank you for coming by and your lovely comment. A visit from you always puts a smile on my face.
      Hugs to you my wicked friend!
      Carrie

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  3. I cry to think of these social injustices too, Carrie. And having no-one help – I mean, you go to the very agencies that are meant to help, and you are not helped: that can cause people to feel so so damned isolated and alone.

    You overwhelm me how courageous you were, leaving, breaking away, and not going back. I agree, never stop talking about the violence: keep it exposed.

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    1. Noeleen, I went back so many times; when I did leave it was not my choice; I was far from brave. I think almost every day for two years I didn’t think I could do it one more day.
      And every challenge I faced I swore I could not over come it but I would only to be faced with an even greater challenge.

      I didn’t realize you started your blog after.a suicide attempt either. I knew you had attempted to end your life but not the sequence. For a long while I was sorry I failed but never sorry enough to try again and now, even though my life is far from challenge free, leaving this world by my own hand is not an option. I have always had a curiosity about what the future holds and I have found that again. I am not so brave or strong; I am curious how this is all going end up. I don’t want to walk out of the theater before the credits start to roll across the screen. 🙂
      So good to see you Noeleen, I hope your corner of the world is peaceful.
      Hugs
      Carrie

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      1. Carrie, I still reckon your brave: to face day upon day upon day. I understand what you mean about the curiosity what life might be/bring/how can we create different.

        I know, I did see in your piece it’s he who told you it’s over & he’d found the love of his life, but that you took it and left, you know, well, that is brave. I AM SO GLAD IT ENDED.

        I hope your side of the world is peaceful too 🙂 So bizarre, communicating across the globe.

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