I walked in the door last night after another great day at the lake and out my back door I see the silloette of a Heron. It never gets old and always makes me so very grateful for my new life. How many people get to see that every single day? The eagles, baby ducks, the bird life period is a constant source of enjoyment. I saw the most beautiful bright yellow bird yesterday, a huge butterfly, tiny guppies along the shore, watched a Heron as he tried to swallow a big fish whole.
I watched water skiers, kayakers, people on air mattresses and one fellow who has modifed his jeep with pontoons and cruises the lake. I joined in the chorus of people from all the houses along the shore and yelled at a few seadoos and speed boats to “SLOW DOWN” as they passed the houses, watched the parade of decorated party barges as they took part in the annual “Floatilla”, ate a huge pancake breakfast up at our little community hall and wandered from neighbour to neighbour stopping for some chit chat.
I was stopped as I walked home by a group of grandma’s, uncles and children decorated the road with side walk chalk art who informed me I could not pass until I drew something.
My biggest complaint is that a misquito bit the bottom of my foot at some point. I can handle it!!
I remember 13 years ago moving here with JC, full of hopes and dreams for “our” future. Oh how wonderful it was going to be.
Funny of new love does that to you; in my 40’s and feeling like a 20 year old, anything was possible. Love conquerred all and as long as we had each other we would make it through anything. We were embarking on our new life together, my soul mate and I. Everything we had been through in our lives had led us to each other and life was just beginning.
We weren’t there 6 months before he strangled me for the first time, it was only 7 months before he decked me in the kitchen and knocked me out when I head bashed against the cupboard.
The abuse had started the day we moved in, that was the first time he tied into me out of the blue throwing me into a tail spin I only recently pulled out of.
It amazes me that a full grown woman would spend 10 years clinging to a promise made by a man she had known 6 months of her 45 years on this earth.
Clinging to a PROMISE, year after year, long after we had moved from the lake I clung to that promise. I fought so hard to keep a relationship based on promises and lies and continual disappointment and more promises. Until the promises of a better life no longer consisted of life by a lake but hollow promises of no more abuse, infidelity or lies. And those promises weren’t kept either.
I prayed for this exact house in 2009, even though I had never seen it physically I had seen it in my mind. I didn’t think it was possible because of my finances etc. But I prayed. Then I expected my prayers to be answered some how through JC. But they never were.
I got angry with God, screamed at him, “What the hell do you want from me?? Just tell me what you want and I’ll do it!!”
But I wasn’t ready.
I had to be homeless, sleep in my truck, live in hell holes (I am an Aries, stubborn and independent to a fault).
You know how you always hear about people who find money they didn’t know they had? I have always known exactly how much money I don’t have. No fear of me forgetting about a few thousand dollars!
When the home owner came to me and said I had 2 weeks to come up with almost $3000 I had no idea how I would do it. My truck had been down for over a month, well you know the story. People were wonderful and donated hundreds, which kept the bills paid, kept me fed but certainly wasn’t going to produce the thousands I would need. Then I got sick, I was out of options.
Just days before I went into the hospital my mom reminded me of some money I got almost 20 yrs ago.
I had worked for Fraser Valley Foods for 12 years when they closed the doors. We all got severance packages which included RRSP funds that the company had contributed to. I got about $30,000, $5,000 of which was locked in until retirement age.
I cashed in $25,000 back in the late 1990’s. The other $5000 I invested and forgot about because it was locked in. I received a statement every year and after a crash in the stock market around 2000, my funds had shrunk to almost nothing. I moved with JC and never bothered to send the investment company a change of address.
I called them about two weeks ago, and yes they had my returned statements and yes they were able to find my investments, and yes, because it came to under $10,000 I would be able to withdraw them before retirement age.
Of course income tax has to take their 20% right off the top (which I will get back when I file my taxes) and it isn’t much, just over $4000; but it IS enough to pay every thing I need to in order for the sale of the cabin to go through, and hopefully buy myself some sort of cheap transportation.
The cheque came in the mail the day after I came home from the hospital.
Do you have any idea how many times I would have used that money over the last 12 years??
Do you know how pissed off JC would be to know that I had that money all that time and he didn’t manage to get his hands on it?? I half expect to get a phone call from him demanding the money for something he thinks I owe him for.
God was listening, he was just waiting for ME to wake up and pay attention.
DO NOT EVER GIVE UP!!
and whatever you do, don’t bank on another person to full fill your hopes and dreams.
I am right back where I was 13 years ago almost exactly to the day, fullfilling my hopes and dreams. Don’t waste over 10 years of your life like I did.
Love and Hugs from your Canadian friend
Posted by Carrie Reimer the Lady WithaTruck