I wrote this post last year and I think it bares repeating for some of the ladies right now.
Please, be kind to yourselves, be patient, there is no “right” way to griev e. We can’t compare ourselves to anyone else. We all suffered be ause of the cold heartedness of a narcissist/psychopath and they all follow almost the same exact m.o. But we are not empty like the narcissist who copies other people’s reactions and emotions. We are all individuals with our own history, baggage, scars, insecurities and personalities so how we heal is as individual as each of us is.
As a rule of thumb I would give anyone 2 years to feel healed enough to want to date again, not dream about the N or cry any more. I am not saying totally healed at 2 years but certainly well on the way. Prior to 2 years I would not be concerned unless there was NO progress being made.
I temd to be more concerned when a victim of “heals” too quickly. The worst thing a person can do; in my opinion is to start dating prior to 2 years. To start dating too quickly because you think it will help you recover or to tbink you can bury your feelings and move on (like so many people encourage the victim to do) only increases the victims chances of repeating history and compounding the problems. You have to deal with the feelings and emotions in order to heal.
Just like a broken leg, if you remove the cast too soon, jog when you should be walking with a cane you are only going to do more damage and take longer to heal, and probably injuring yourself worse.
Posted by Carrie Reimer the Lady WithaTruck