Our Growth Chart

Welcome to our growth page.Image

This where we come to share our progress in our recovery. This is not where we cry or complain; there are other places for that. This is where we give ourselves a pat on the back for making it through a day without crying, count down how many days we have been N/C, talk about something we tried for the first time even though we were afraid. This is where its ok to brag, so let it out! Tell us about your accomplishments no matter how insignificant you may think they are.

glass heart

Sometimes relationships are like broken glass,
It’s better to leave it broken
Than risk getting hurt
Putting it back together.


44 thoughts on “Our Growth Chart

    1. Its great to hear the progress it’s it Noeleen. So often we forget how far we have come but even seemingly small achievements can be HUGE steps in recovery. We need to give ourselves pats on the back instead of always only seeing the painful and negative; that is the past… the future has endless possibilities!!!
      thanks for stopping by Noeleen


  1. I AM OFFICIALLY NOW AT 5 MONTHS NO CONTACT! I had to make sure to post it here on our “Growth Chart” thread. I’ve been yammering on about it on the Support Forum thread. Sheesh! Anyway, I am trying REAL hard to be my own cheering section and pat myself on the back. Five months is a long time especially with zero contact. No texts, calls, emails, nothing. I have no idea if he has tried or not. Since he is blocked, I wouldn’t know. And that’s exactly what I need. I swear I don’t know if I would have the strength to handle it if he managed to get through the blocks. If somehow I heard his voice on the phone, or got a text. I don’t feel that strong. I’ve just been lucky that he hasn’t done those things. And I pray that will continue.

    Anyway, these wonderful ladies have given me lots of kudos, and had a great suggestion. The n’s 60th birthday is Saturday (a lot of emotion/memories attached to that for me). So Paula suggested I go out that night and PARTY DOWN in celebration of my OWN milestone! So that’s what I’ll do. Yay!


  2. Hi Carrie
    Thank you for your page, it has helped me in my journey. Some months ago I had to stop reading it, I read about your financial problems and wanted to help so hard but have my own problems. It was simply too frustrating not to be able to do anything.

    I lived with my socio/narc for many years, we have four children together. Almost two years ago he left with the mistress (“friend” of mine who left her husband!). I was devastated, we had just bought a house and the youngest was two years old. He had been practising mental abuse for years, without me realizing (this is a very good description that I just found today http://www.lovefraud.com/2013/12/18/married-to-a-sociopath-a-false-sense-of-control/). When he left he tried to ruin me and take the kids- and almost succeeded. If it had not been for my parents I would have been on the street with the kids.

    I am trying to get on top of things, it is still tuff. Some months I have hardly money to buy food for the kids. BUT I have taken over the house (Don´t even want to talk about that battle). We get our clothes (used clothes) from a private charity organisation, christmas gifts are mostly used stuff I get from friends or from the private charity organisation. I chose to stay in the house where the children have their home and live for very little money and pay off on the loan every month. I will rather use my money on a can of paint for the house than new clothes or new furniture.

    Trying to work, even though i do not accomplish as much as I could, due to all the problems, luckily the employer is very understanding. Am seeing a therapist who is an expert in complex PTSD. Doing some tough work on myself, it is not always nice to have to realize what we have been through.

    I have been single, but recently I have met up with an old friend of mine (we lost contact for many many years). He is a very kind person who might be man enough to handle all my problems and me 🙂

    Thank you for this page, I was helped and I can see that you are helping many people every day.


    1. Rose, you are welcome! I am always glad to hear I have helped someone by sharing my experiences. Congratulations on taking your life back and providing for your kids. You are a very strong woman, but then they usually pick strong women because no one else would be able to put up with their shit and put the pieces back together when they cause chaos (which they do daily).
      I know how difficult it is to try and get your feet under yourself financially but you are doing it!! One day at a time, we never know how strong we are until we are tested, we can accomplish things we never though possible. Thankfully your parent were able to help you, we all need a helping hand “up” once in a while. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your story. I am praying that 2014 holds only wonderful things for you and your children, peace, peace of mind, peace of heart. God bless you.


      1. Thank you for your kind words.
        It is funny that you call me strong. I never viewed my self as strong. After he left – (and I have been NC for more than a year) so many different people tell me that I am a very strong woman! They tell me I am compassionate, caring and without judgement – all things that he told me I was. I guess we have to totally redefine ourselves and the people around us. It is a difficult journey but the ones that make it through that journey are so very strong and independent people 🙂


        1. Yes!! Rose, exactly!!! People always say I am so strong; all I did was survive, wake up and make it through another day; never feeling strong enough to do it but there was no other choice. The only other option was to kill myself and I did try that and failed.
          Once you are through it you look back and realized yes you must have been strong to make it through. No one knows how strong they are until they are tested.
          But you are right also about what my last post touched on; once you are away from the N long enough yoi’ve realize you are none of the things the N said you were and you know in all certainly you are a good person and you are proud of the person you are. We have to put ourselves back together after being stripped of everything; that is a huge accomplishment and something we have every right to be proud of.
          The son-of-a-bitch didn’t break us after all. The ultimate revenge is to survive and prove what you are made of.


  3. Hiya Carrie, I haven’t been around in a long while I do realise, but you know, I do still think of you. It’s funny isn’t it, considering we’ve never even met.

    I wish you the absolute best in 2014. I really hope things have picked up for you by now, & I wish you so much good 🙂 N’n.


    1. Noeleen !!! thank you so much for stopping by, I have missed you, I have been terribly busy with work and all but I missed your presence and was wondering what was happening in your corner of the world. I don’t know if it is necessary to meet someone face to face to feel we know them and care about them. You and I both have shared some very intimate details of our lives and can relate to each others story to a degree. I always hope that life is getting better for you and Daniel. My life is holding its own for now.
      I hope 2014 holds everything you wish for and more.


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