I haven’t watched the whole video because I just haven’t had time. Sam Vaknin discusses empathy. I found it very interesting and could explain why we find it so easy to fall for the narcissist. I have said it before but of course Sam Vaknin is an expert and says it scientifically.
What is empathy? We say it is because we can relate to what a person is feeling; or we know how a person feels. But that is impossible; we can only know how WE feel and so we, as empathetic people, assign our feelings to the narcissist.
He doesn’t have to have feelings because we assign him feelings. JC’S adoptive mother always talked about how sensitive he was and when his father died they were afraid to tell him because he was so sensitive. But he never cried, get didn’t even talk about it and he didn’t spend much time with his father. I tried to be sympathetic with him but I didn’t feel he was sad, he was empty. Yet his mother took his distance as being so sensitive he couldn’t stand it and had to with draw. Two totally different views of the same behavior. Which one of us was right? I am sure we both feel we were right but then she always finds a way of putting him in a good light and believes him. How I don’t know in light of some of the stuff he has done. But she is assigning him her reactions and she is a very empathetic person and very sensitive so that is how she sees him.
I hope I explained that right but you can watch it for yourself.
Topsy-turvy: Paul Bloom Against, Vaknin for Empathy (Vaknin and Rutsch)
Re(Creations) by Carrie Reimer 778-344-4974