Gray Rock Method of Dealing With Narcissist

The above link is to the Lovefraud site where they discuss a method where you bore the narcissist/psychopath into leaving you alone.

They also advocate no contact as the best option when leaving a narcissist but in some cases that is just not possible.

I thought someone here might find the information useful.


There is life and light after the narcissist, I promise! Hugs Carrie

6 thoughts on “Gray Rock Method of Dealing With Narcissist

  1. rmblondie60

    OMG…I did this without even trying! After he and I split in May 2012, he called all the time. I would make sure that I moved away from family and friends to talk with him (I didn’t know what he was at that point). But as time moved on, I realized that he NEVER asked me how I was doing (I was broke, no food in the pantry), while he was telling me how much money he had spent on things that he and I had talked about doing for years. So…I got was always about him…I would say..Uh huh…really?… The calls seemed to slow down, and he got more involved with his new supply. (Posted “In a Relationship in June 2012). He and I spoke up to the time he accused me of stalking him and his new supply…said that he couldn’t be friends with me anymore because it upset his GF, because SHE thought I was stalking her.

    Shortly after that, I decided to drive the 500 miles, get the rest of my things, Just so happened (lol) that was the day he graduated from college. My bad! Within DAYS, he proposed, and in August, he married her! Guess he almost LOST her, and had to make a grandiose gesture to keep her!

    I have not heard from him since. Even though I still suffer…..The real No Contact just began in May 2013. I like the term describes exactly how I am feeling right now. And I understand, even though I do not want him, but the idea that I spent 8 years with him without a commitment, did EVERYTHING for him, and he turns around and marries the next woman…is why I am in this state of being at the moment. I KNOW how she feels right now…and KNOW how she will feel in the near future.


  2. skylar

    Hi Lady with a truck,
    I drive a truck too!

    I’m glad you found the gray rock article useful, it’s very popular in our community of survivors.
    Since I wrote that article I started my own blog called There are a lot more articles about understanding and dealing with psychopaths and other narcissistic abusers, on that site.

    I also placed the Gray Rock article on, so could you please change your link above to point toward it here?

    Hi RMblondie, I can relate to becoming non-reactive without even trying. I did that to for much of my relationshit with the spath, but still, when he really wanted to get my emotions, he knew how because I didn’t understand the mechanism. Now that I do, it’s like knowing how a magic trick is done. It’s no longer effective at inspiring awe.


  3. gigi

    My ex is malignant indeed, for 2 years he suppressed the rage and played the victim almost clumsy. He did let certain thoughts pop out, like his ex once described as a dictator, I reminded him that she was in charge of the marriage…he laughed and boasted ” well….she thought she was”. This did alarm me but I stayed until he completely lost the plot one horrible day.
    He was always evasive to direct questions, never apologetic for insults about ,my hair and so on. Yet if I pulled his leg he couldn’t take it at all on any level, so I stopped. He was in control of my emotions until his final rage, I remember so clearly looking at him behaving like a clown, showing off and just being spooked as I thought who is that ? Why am I here? He is vile and not like his precious Fakebook, he cares for nobody yet he needs the admiration constantly.
    I’m still in the recovery room, still worried that he could pop up from the woodwork and destroy me. Still worried that I could make another poor choice which will cost my self esteem and dignity. I actually think he deserves the inner life he has.
    These are dangerous men, very dangerous and they do destroy whoever they capture.
    Trust your gut, they will avoid real communication and play clumsy to defect your need for answers early on. I now know it’s because they can’t be trusted which is why they can’t trust you.



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