Sometimes You Just Have To Stop

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Some times you are running around self absorbed with your own worries and lack of time to get everything done. When all of a sudden nature’s beauty catches you off guard and you just have to stop to absorb it.

I was at the car wash chastizing myself for spending $10 to wash and vacuum my car . I stopped to take a picture to show you all my $400 car and I noticed this beautiful double rainbow. It was so beautiful it didn’t look real.

And then there is my car; the reason I stopped in the first place.
Not bad for $400 eh?

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My $400 car. 1995 Saturn that only had 120,000 klm on it when I got it

There is life and light after the narcissist, I promise! Hugs Carrie

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5 thoughts on “Sometimes You Just Have To Stop

  1. Beautiful. Both photos and words. Thank you for your words of encouragement and HOPE! Tonight marks the third week out on my own. Began counseling to help the healing this week.

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    • Robin, good for you, 3 weeks ……… its a long time. Counselling is an excellent idea, but if the counsellor doesn’t know about N’s don;t feel bad or doubt yourself just find one who does. Not all counsellors know about narcissists and don’t understand the control and emotional abuse or the attachment victims have to them.
      Good luck, you can do this, there is a rainbow in your life just around the corner.
      Hugs
      carrie

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  2. I can’t be in his neighborhood without driving by, it’s so unhealthy. In his mind it’s “been a year” which he’s ascribed some imaginary boundary to, ” when am I going to stop this about back ordered spousal support he hasn’t paid for and just disappear off the map. The lawyer told me to contact him because it’s faster and less expensive and he hadn’t responded to our letter that he needs to provide financial discovery a year late and thousands of dollars short. He’s dismissed me entirely, and figures because his self proclaimed time limit is up (it was a short term marriage anyway but not that short!) and he’s with someone else I should just disappear. His reaction to almost anything I say is, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I wonder if that’s a classic narco trait designed for more crazy making. It makes me incredibly angry- of course he does, he just doesn’t want anything to do with me. He even contradicts himself after claiming “not to know what the hell I’m talking about” and goes on to say well maybe he does, but he’s got a million. qualifications and without fail it is my fault for any problem- putting words in my mouth, blatantly lying, and I just have to ignore it so I don’t engage in the Lose Lose battle- but it makes me so mad I’d like to punch his lights out for skewing everything I’ve ever said and making things up entirely, based only on his warped, self serving purely fictional recounting of events. He still digs at me, makes me wrong and manipulates every detail to make me look like an asshole. What hurts most is how disposable I really am to him. Not only am I not worth any help getting back on my feet, the magic “year” is up…and so then, am I. Mind you he kept the ex in… forever. Cause she didn’t want his money, only his balls which he gave her on a silver Platter. I thought I was strong enough to pass his street on my way home tonight but my hands turned the wheel at the last moment, confirming New Babe evidence. Why do I want him to hug me? He had the best, biggest strongest arms, I loved him holding me… The handful of times he deigned to do so when he wasn’t bashing me into the ground about my unending reprehensible morally physically emotionally financially flawed fucked up life. I miss him, I want him to miss me. Sorry, it’s true. My pheromones are still stuck on the asshole. I hate him. But I love him, I miss him something awful, and I wish he cared a whit about me. I’m so sad.

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    • Hey Ms Foot!

      Hope you had a good week!

      I know you are sad and I am sorry you are:( And it is very sad that another human being can turn so viciously on another, especially when someone is sick. But, they hate weakness or any kind. Especially illness. They see being “sick” as being “damaged”. They want perfect, remember in their minds they are chasing the unattainable dream The person that can heal them and make them “alright” And THAT one thing alone ensures that none of their relationships will never have any substance. Because no one is perfect Everyone gets sick Everyone has bad days They are not equipped to deal with any of that because they don’t have “emotions”. They can pretend them of course and will when it suits their purposes But they aren’t real They have about as much usefulness to another person as the rock out by the side of the road. They are takers Empaths are givers. YOU wanting something as simple as a hug, if it will NOT get them something would be purposeless to them in the scheme of things. WHY bother in their minds? It is impossible for them to envision some one needing comfort, warmth, compassion. THEY don’t need it. They are as truly baffled by us and our “needs” as we are by them and their ways. Most phychopaths, sociopaths learn they get what they want by manipulation, and to manipulate they have to pretend to give something back.

      Love and hate are just different sides of the same coin. Very powerful emotions. But you have to care very deeply to do either one. I pray indifference “the grey area” becomes a part of your life someday real soon.

      Ellie

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    • Miss Foot here are some links
      http://wp.me/p1wKh3-9g
      http://wp.me/p1wKh3-1Kz
      http://wp.me/p1wKh3-1tB
      http://wp.me/p1wKh3-Aa
      http://wp.me/p1wKh3-r8
      http://wp.me/p1wKh3-ne
      http://wp.me/p1wKh3-kb
      maybe something in them will help. I can only suggest that you end all contact with him and let the lawyers deal with it. this is all very typical N stuff, of course he is going to deny, forget, and blame, he is a narcissist; to expect that he is going to be fair or admit any fault or be nice in any way is setting yourself up to be hurt. IF he is nice, look out, then he has something really horrible planned for you.

      I know you don’t want to face the facts but he do not care about you and is only concerned with his own well being and he will not be fair. all the wishing in the world is not going to change that. The worst thing you can do is to let him know he is getting to you, it gives him exactly what he wants, a reaction, of any kind, sadness, anger, love, hate, its all the same to him because he doesn’t feel like regular people any sign of emotion feeds his ego. Let the lawyers deal with it. The less contact the better and the sooner he will tire of it and stop bothering you.
      Hugs
      Carrie

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