I do believe I live in one of the most beautiful places on earth.
Unfortunately, it is looking like I might not be able to stay.
On top of everything else going on in my life, it appears I am not going to be able to keep up with the payments on the house and I will eventually have to move.
It breaks my heart and maybe God will find a way for me to keep it but as it looks now I will have to walk away.
Originally I got the place because I had just gotten the job at Ccon and could afford the payments. Then JC got me fired and the stress of losing my job, then the truck I bought with Ccon’s financing broke down and shortly after I had heart failure. I was still able to close the deal and buy a car but that cleaned out all of my reserves and left me without any kind of safety net.
With my disability benefits ending 3 months earlier than I had anticipated I was unprepared and fell behind on my monthly payments.
My brother has hired me but he was not ready for me to start right away and I haven’t been getting full time hours.
I have reached the point now that I owe $350 for the vet bills for the dog Laila attacked, I owe my brother about $700 for money he lent me for living expenses like food, and the $250 it cost to put Kato down, my cable, hydro and mortgage are behind and I won’t make enough the catch up AND pay my monthly bills. In the new year we have to pay our maintenance fees and taxes in 3 equal payments which comes to approximately $400 a month for 3 months. And my car still needs the brakes done and a wheel bearing. There is no way I can pay all that I, plus my payments are supposed to go up to $900 a month at the end of February.
I simply won’t be able to afford it all so I am trying to deal with the thought of having to move.
I really love it here, it was the answer to my prayers. And I was especially pleased that even though JC tried his damnest to take it away from me by lying to where I worked and the management board where I live; I managed to thwart his attempts.
Ultimately he would think he wins again and managed to destroy something I loved.
I envision him reading this and getting his rocks off because he thinks he is so almighty and powerful. He is thinking; that will teach me for turning him down when he offered to make me a success like him; when the reality is that him living off of a widow does not make him a success.
Like I said this morning; to him its all about image and now that they have moved to a new town where no one knows them maybe he can fool some people into believing he is a success but the truth is;
He redefines “loser”, he has taken being a weasel to a whole new level. (fyi JC if you fail to realize it; that is not an admirable thing). It doesn’t make him a man by any stretch of the imagination.
And it doesn’t ruin me, because even if I have to leave here I will not give him credit for being able to take my peace of mind or happiness ever again.
Even if I lose my little dream cottage, and even though the last few weeks have been very sad for me with losing my little buddy and Laila before him; I would never go back to him or be sorry some other sucker is with him because I think of him as a complete and utter failure and have no respect for him at all. He could keep ruining everything good that comes into my life and I will never respect him or fear him again because he is a spineless weasel.
Just my thoughts on this rainy Friday.
There is life and light after the narcissist, I promise! Hugs Carrie