Search Terms On Narcissists

My apologies to anyone who got a notification of a new post and either there was only 1/2 a post or no post there. I had this idea that I thought would be easy. Haha it has been a nightmare! This is my last try at it and if it doesn’t work you will never see this.

Every day WordPress gives it’s bloggers their stats for the day. The stats include the search terms people used to have your blog come up in the results. I decided to take the top 40 search terms for January 29th and answer each one briefly. Should be a simple copy and paste kind of thing you would think, but oh no! because it was a table and well…. I have been at this for hours!! too damn stubborn to just give up. So here we go one last time.

1. Narcissists changing with new woman – the narcissist does not change. He was too good to be true when you met him and he is too good to be true with the next woman and the next and the next. To a narcissist women are all interchangeable.

2. Narcissists apologize – A narcissist usually apologies in such a way that he is not to blame.
Ie: I should have had better control and not let you push my buttons until I hit you. Or I never would have cheated if you hadn’t been so suspicious. Until they think they have really lost you and then they will admit to everything and take full blame for it all, they will appear to really own it and you think, he has never owned it before he must mean it and take him back and then he abuses you worse than ever.

3. Do narcissists cry – See above, usually the “heart-felt” apology is accompanied with real live tears. When he first starts seeing a woman he is usually pretty teary, JC cried the first time he said I love you. Or in a situation where crying seems to him to be appropriate response and will garner him attention.

4. Narcissist woman relationship– same as a man, just as devastating, just as abusive,
just as hard to get over.

5. Hoovering narcissist – Narcissists hoover after they dump you. They make a huge deal about dumping your sorry ass because they just can’t deal with your drama and then when you finally start to heal and feel somewhat back to normal the narcissist will pop up out of nowhere expecting you to welcome him back with open arms, if you don’t he will hang around. Show up everywhere you are (stalk you) and act all suck holey until you finally break down and take him back and then he will abuse you worse than before.

6. Ladywithatruck – yes, well I used to be the lady with a truck until the N destroyed it.
But that is what many people know me by.

7. How long does the honeymoon phase last with a narcissist – That depends how long it takes him to feel he has securely hooked the woman, usually once they move in together, get married or he gets her pregnant but it can happen without any of those things occurring it all depends on him feeling secure enough to let his mask drop and know the woman won’t dump his ass.

8. Letter to son on 30th birthday – I am terribly proud of my boy and I couldn’t think of anything that I could afford to get him that would mean anything and I think everyone needs to hear, “I think you are a great person and I am so proud of the man you have become.” I don’t think a parent can ever say that enough no matter how old their kid gets.

9. How to recover from a pathological narcissist liar u tubes – no u tubes on my site but Sam Vaknin has some good ones and there are many other ones on |You Tube, I have watched many of them and most of them are very good.

10. Dating a man after being with a narcissist – I strongly advice waiting to date again until you have healed completely and done a lot of work on your self esteem, identified your boundaries and learned how to defend them and done enough research to know how to recognize the early warning signs you are with a narcissist. It is possible to pick them out if you are aware because they all follow the same MO. Idolize, devalue, discard.

11. Narcissistic partner abuse – Abuse – that is what a narcissist does, yes. Some types over lap. Let’s count all the different ways a narcissist can abuse you
Emotional– withholds affection, silent treatment, acts like he loathes you,
Financial – insists on managing all the money, bitches about how much you cost him and how much you spend, if you have money he wants it, if you have equity he wants it,
Physical – choking, slapping, punching, kicking, throwing things at you, forcing sex , hovering over you as if to hit you,
Psychological – gas lighting, tries to make you think you are crazy, denying things you saw with your own eyes or twisting things you said, changing history to suit his agenda, hiding things of yours, saying you are paranoid, crazy
Verbal – calling you stupid, ugly, lazy, a whore, slut, twisting things you say, denying what he said, using words to confuse you by using double meaning to words.
Control – tells you what to wear, think, and who to associate with, tampers with your vehicle to keep you from going out, gets you fired, refuses to take you to the doctor, refuses to buy groceries
Sexual – forces you to perform sex acts you are uncomfortable with or are painful, not taking no for an answer, rape, withholding sex, degrading treatment during sex or degrading remarks about having sex with you, some even force the woman to have sex with their friends, secretly taping sex with you, porn addictions,
Infidelity – with women, personal ads on the internet, with men, with God knows who and you probably don’t really want to know believe me. Just get tested for STD’s take my word for it.
Passive Aggressive abuse – which is very common with N’s and consists of destroying your property if he is angry with you, or stealing it, or selling it, preventing you from going to a function you have been looking forward to, forgetting your birthday, making you late or being late himself, not calling, total lack of cooperation.

I am not sure where to categorize these next few – hurts your pets or threatens your pets, children and extended family, smear campaign with everyone who knows you, falsely accuses you of things that are intended to make you lose your job, get arrested, put into a mental institute or have your children taken away, Intimidates you by say cleaning his guns,
sharpening knives, watching snuff movies, anything that would make you think your life is in danger but deny it if you say anything.

12. Narcissist stealing money – As stated in number 11, he wants all your money and everyone else’s money and possessions. He has no conscience so taking stuff is in his mind his right. It’s your own fault for not having it locked up or insured. He doesn’t like anyone to have more than him or even equal to him.

13. When will the narcissist end his relationship with the new supply– whenever she is on to his lies and starts confronting him on his shit, when he meets someone better, but once you have been “his” he reserves the right to pop back into your life whenever he wishes and you should be honored and grateful the he chose you to abuse again.

14. Breaking up with a narcissist – Good Idea!!

15. What type of woman does a narcissist like – narcissists don’t like women, they own them, preferably a woman that another man would want, he wants to be the envy of other men, but he also is looking for a strong self assured independent woman who he can break – good NS to bring a strong woman down, plus he would prefer she has something like a nice car, a nice home, money he can get his hands on, or maybe he thinks being with her will further his career, it really depends on what he needs at the time. A married woman is always good because then he gets to destroy a whole family.

16. Narcissist after cheating – smug, self righteous, indignant and blames you. If you think your narcissist isn’t cheating on you, you just haven’t caught him yet.

17. Narcissist wants you back – see #2, #3 and #5

18. How to revenge emotional abuse – don’t even try to get revenge. The man has no conscience, you can’t compete with that. He will always win in the revenge arena, he is the master of revenge, and there is no way you can really hurt someone if they have no feelings.

19. Narcissists cheat – see number 11 Infidelity and #16

20. Insane crap my husband says – yes, they are insane and say insane things, they all do…………because they are insane.

21. Apathy after narcissistic abuse – from him or from you? Either way, yes he doesn’t give a shit and after awhile you go into survival mode and denial and shut your feelings off. It is very common amongst survivors of all types of abuse, prisoners of war, kidnap victims, child abuse victims etc

22. Stealth narcissist – they are all stealth, sneaky and conniving

23. My wife says i am a narcissist – if it concerns you then the odds are you aren’t but you might want to check out the traits of a narcissist and see how she stacks up

24. My ex apologized for hurting me – an apology is only an apology if he never repeats the
behavior he apologized for

25. When times are good with a narcissist – you can be sure that a really bad time will follow because he feels he must make sure you don’t come to expect good times in the beginning and any time he thinks he has lost you or you have something he wants but you always walk on egg shells waiting for the other shoe to drop because its never good for long.

26. How does a narcissistic lure you in – obviously you have never been with a narcissist because anyone who has knows exactly how he lured you in. He pretended to be your soul mate, your perfect mate, and he acted like you were his, He LIED.

27. Cheating spouse says shut up leave me alone –you mean he didn’t tell you it was all your fault?

28. How to win back a narcissist – hahahaha I would hardly call that winning?

29. Can narcissists fall in love – hahahaha your kidding right? Sorry no they cannot fall in love, without empathy it is impossible to love. He wants you, he wants to own you, possess you, control you but there is no love. He can tell 10 different women he loves them in the same week, he can dump one woman one day and be with the love of his life that night.

30. Why do narcissist leave good women for their ex girlfriends – I am sure the ex girlfriend is a good woman also. See #1 and #5, also a Narcissist love love loves LOVES triangulation, having two women fight over him is the ultimate NS

31. Why can a narcissist feel empathy for others and not his girlfriend – the narcissist can FAKE empathy when it serves a purpose. That is what is so nasty about him; he knows how to act, he knows what a person needs, he just doesn’t give a damn.

32. How do i help my husband with narcissistic victim syndrome? Get him a good counselor who is trained and experienced dealing with victims of narcissistic abuse, not all counselors understand the depth of the abuse and can actually do more harm than good by giving advice that would work with as “normal” person or they blame the victim.

33. If narcissists leaves the state do they come back – maybe

34. Why do narcissists marry – to possess the woman, to get her shit, maybe it is the only way he can get control of her. Plus to a narcissist marriage vows mean nothing, he is not committing to anything past the 5 minutes it takes to say the vows. They will promise anything, say anything and never worry about being held to it because no one holds them to anything, they just do what they want anyway. Marriage means nothing to them, so why not get married if its going to get him what he wants.

35. Narcissist couldn’t care less about his family – Narcissist = self absorbed, they don’t give a shit about anybody

36. When the narcissist comes back – run in the opposite direction and cover your ears

37. I’m in love with a narcissistic but i have to leave him to save me – you got that right

38. Happiness with a narcissistic woman – not bloody likely

39. Narcissist die alone – it’s a nice thought but unfortunately many of them just carry on leaving a trail of destruction behind them perfecting their technique with each victim. Just think of all those lonely little old widows with all that money with his name on it.

40. Narcissist stealing friends – the narcissist will steal anything and everything he wants and that means your friends also, they want everyone to hate the victim and feel sorry for him and when he leaves you he wants to make sure you have nothing of value left, not even your self esteem or your friends who might help you recover.
They are downright nasty that way.

48 thoughts on “Search Terms On Narcissists

  1. nomore

    I have cried and cried and cried. So unbelievable. I’ve been in constant shock ….FOR 6 YEARS… Oh, I am not OK but after I stop disbelieving, I will be. Thank you for sharing.


    1. Irena Lahindre

      Please remember that narc’s are beyond evil and you are not alone. We are all going through this…… he’s still controlling you because you still carry the pain and he doesn’t because he’s not even human. I honestly believe that narcissists are demon possessed with a Jezabel demon spirit……look it up and you will see for yourself. You didn’t deserve any of this.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Stellar

      Girl you been crying 6 yrs too long! Took me 3yrs too long. Glad Lady with a truck wrote this. I CAN TOTALLY RELATE. He never hit me, nor did the name calling. But the porn had him and still has him sick and very stuck in a real fucked up world. . I’m sorry you are heart broken love. Someone asked me this: Why would you love someone who treats you like you ain’t shit? And I ask myself this: How unworthy do you think you are that you would stand for and stay in a relationship that is everything you’re against? So here’s what’s happening. I changed my mind about one thing. MY WORTH! And God reminds me that He WONDERFULLY and FEARFULLY made me…..He was careful to put me together just right, the way HE saw fit, PERFECT! I am His design, He loves me and loved me before I could love anyone or know anyone’s love. The same goes for you dear one. You are so utterly VALUABLE to Him. He loves us, we’re His little girls….God bless you with the same understanding, may His Love illuminate your path and bring you a wonderful loving man who is real and true at heart. May He give you a very new and wonderful beginning in every aspect of your life. Change your mind about your worth! You are so very worthy! ❤❤❤


  2. Connie

    Was in shock for months. Just could not believe he would treat me so harshly after 24 years together. Let me say the relationship was just as you described, I was just co-dependent and took the abuse. (I loved my custom built home and lifestyle) It has taken me almost 2 years to feel good about everything that happened. I don’t really want to date at this point. When he visually turned to other women, I turned to God. My path hasn’t always been easy but I wouldn’t trade it because I have become a very strong, independent Christian. I finally went NO contact that that is when the healing began.

    You can do this ladies! Don’t let him get the best of you. In fact, the best is yet to come.


    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      Connie, thank you for sharing. No contact is SO important, as you stated.
      Wishing you all the best in the future and much happiness, after 24 years you have earned only the best.


  3. Shaunna

    Hi there from the twilight zone. I just cried ( uncontrollably), holding my dear cat, Simba. I know this is all true, I can’t believe I stumbled on this site!!!! I said, damn, its my story, again and again. my hang up is, why???? Why the flip can a man be so heartless, want me. Hate me, leave me, wants to be alone, I’m so confused, I divorced him, starting again a month later, now his stuff is on my living room, tomorrow he pucks it up. He pulled his shit again on valentines day! Also, his b’day what a cold, cold man. I can go on and on,but you all knOw with your third eye SHUT the story. Is this movie over??? why girls? Why do they exist…… that quote, by the way, at top of site, ” to go somewhere, is deciding you will not Sta where you ate”, that’s a goodie! Well, I’m sure the car insurance company will call that he dropped my coverage, he does that all the time. Also why are the staged 40-60 days? That seems to be the pattern…..peace, Shaunna, ( um a frosted flake, hope I can find you all again…tesrs


  4. Ewa

    I wish I read this sooner, my Narc ex messaged me on facebook after 11 years of no contact ( I “ghosted”on him after he told me he got another woman pregnant). He sent me a “hello bella” , I didn’t reply for 3 weeks, but I don’t know why I replied “hello”. I had no idea he was hoovering! Anyway, he has not contacted me since. I will block him asap and stay away from social media for a while.


  5. Dacusmcc

    This is all true. It has taken me over a year to wrap my head around what happened after a 13 year relationship with a malignant narcissist. The worse part is I didn’t even know he was a true narcissist until he walked out the door after his mask fell off during a narcissistic rage. At first I thought it was an alcoholic rage but he kept saying he wasn’t drunk. After he walked out that was it. No explanation, no feelings, no I’m sorry for throwing the television at me or breaking the TV into little bity pieces all over the floor, no Im sorry for punching 3 holes in the wall and breaking a mirror during his fit of rage because he acted like a complete assho*# in public and embarrassed the hell out of me in public. Afterall, it was all my fault as he claimed, don’t you know! It took me 6 months after the relationship ended before I realized something is seriously wrong with that man. As I began to learn about the narcissist, I began to see that our 13 year relationship was just like all the stories I read about from other women who had been with narcissistic and got out alive. At one point I really thought he would try and kill me but for now he is content with destroying my reputation and turning my friends against me. He has hurt my children, destroyed my property and owes me $26,000 for the equity in my home that I owned before he moved in. But during the 13 year relationship, he managed to manipulate ownership of every asset I had so that when the relationship was over I would have nothing. No home, no furniture, no self-esteem, no friends, no money, etc. I was a strong, independent women when we met and it took him 13 years to almost destroy me, but what he didn’t know about me is that I answer to a power that is far greater than humanly possible, unlike any power he ever thought he’s had. And unlike he thinks, he is not God and he does not walk on water. He can’t really do anything to me unless I let him. I know now that I should have left him a long time ago. There were so many signs that I didn’t see, maybe because they were so bizarre and he always had an explanation no matter how ridiculous it seems now. I guess all along I always knew something wasn’t right I just couldn’t figure out what it was and I had never had any dealings with a narcisstist before so I didn’t know a man could be so amazing yet so fake with his academy award winning acting, his empty promises, lies, and an empty soul. I may not know what lies ahead of me at this point but I do know I ain’t looking back.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Linda coward

    I met this wonderful man in January he turned my world upside down ! I was in heaven ! 6 months down the line I am devasted ! Reading these articles I was in love with a narcissist !!! I have forgiving him to be able to heal myself ! I’m not letting him project all is shit on to me.


  7. Tim

    I am married to a narcissit now, she claims that she has cheated on me three times… I find that to be unbelievable since she is clearly just an attention junky.
    She has never respected me and fits just about every category in this article.
    My youngest is 16 and she is in a trapped state by her because mom provides her with the love of her life…Horses!
    My daughter feels trapped and it makes me very sad, I don’t know what to do!
    I feel that I must leave but don’t want to abandon my daughter.
    I have been used for solo many years.



  8. Carrie

    I went out with a foreign born narcissist for many years It was all about him. He was a control freak as all his family said behind his back but he had the money…
    He wanted to do things only on Sunday even though he didn’t work anymore when it was the only day my friend and I could meet for coffee. Speaking of coffee he always put me down for taking the first cup later in the relationship towards the end and would put water in the coffee to water it down. He accused me of really weird things like purposefully taking the first cup of coffee. He was bored with his friends once he retired and bored with everyone however he never tried anything new except on vacations that he planned without ever asking if I wanted to do that. He drove me into a great depression and purposefully berated me so It ended, He was cruel and mean
    I think he has dementia so he blamed me for it. If he couldn’t remember something he would get mad at me! He never wanted to try new things or go to different places because he had a schedule. He hated that I had my own business. I loved him greatly but I realize now it was all about him. He didn’t even acknowledge family things for my one child that almost was thinking of him as his father figure as he did to his own daughter (during a divorce) It was all about him.

    His mother taught him right from wrong but she has passed away. Regret that I did not listen to my own mother who had doubts but INEVER knew a narcissist before. They like to destroy your self esteem; they do this to their own children because basically they feel inadequate or maybe they were children of a narcissist. Who knows? It was hell and I gave up a good portion of my life regrettably. He will find another dumb woman who had not perfect but nice men who cared about them. A narcissist no matter what they say cares only for themselves and keeping their assets and gaining more. I was told by one of his family members he was glad i had a good job and a house…I think they were trying to warn me. They all have to bow down to him. He seems nice and he can be charming as they even say but he can be a cold cunning person AND a liar although he claims he was an honest person, he made many false promises…Must have loved that I trusted him! .. When he is secretive he calls himself a private person.\..who knows what he got into with other narcissist misogynist friends….Most women would not be as stupid. I trusted him because I had never met a narcissist before. I had no experience with someone that is so full of BS so they can leave you stranded even though he promised the moon. He hurt one daughter as he said he thought of her as his own but he is the biggest liar ever. I will move on and met someone who is an expert with this type.. A narcissist NEVER APOLOGIZES in AN ARGUMENT. They are never wrong! I had never known anyone like this so be very very careful. They will break your heart due to their lies. DO NOT TRUST HIM OR HER EVER! He doesn’t want to meet your friends if the are better looking than he is which could be almost anyone iis He is short and he feels if he were tall he would get fashion models! WRONG! I never cared about that as my husband was over 6′ and all the men I dated were too. I was over that. He seemed interesting but he seemed to feel he wanted to be an actor or someone interesting.. He brags about his money but his goal is to get back at women because he had to split everything in the divorce so any promises this narc makes are lies and he will make up lies about you. Watch for the singns : Too good to be true, asks you to marry him then claims you change HIs own children said he would never go through with it, he is a liar. So sad for them but he can fake it. A control freak in general is hard to handle but a narcissist enjoys destroying anyone who crosses them. its sad and difficult as I am older now but nothing is worse than a man who treats you like garbage to discard. No one has ever treated me that way!


  9. Dianne

    I just ended a 20 year realationship. I was so in love with him and he said that he was with me. He did everything for me. As we were about to move in together, he went nuts. Called me trash, screamed at me until I looked at him and then pushed me. Now he’s on a mission to take me down and ruin my reputation. I also found out that during the time that we were working on our place to live, he was seeing another woman. I just don’t get it. He called my work place 150 times in 5 days. I had to get a protection order.


  10. Rachel

    I strongly believe I have been living with a narcissist for 3 years. I’ve done a lot of crying and fighting to try to make him believe me that I’m not cheating or lying to him ever!!! I stumbled on this site today and read it not that I havent read others but I liked this one…sounds exactly what ive been dealing with for 3 years. This story I’m about to tell you really just is the last I’m so tired of being accused of things I’m not ever doing. Here it goes…my boyfriend got up this morning and told me that the car seemed to be moved like if someone had went somewhere . I was confused…he then asked me if I had gone somewhere. I answered with no babe…well then who used the car was his response…me: babe I don’t think anyone used the car….i have a 20 yr old son so maybe he used it but come to find out he didnt…to make a long story short he was saying in so many words that i must of gone out after he fell asleep. Omg are you kidding me? It was war after that I am so tired of being treated the way he treats me.


  11. Irena Lahindre

    Beware the Dan I never knew,
    The rambling raging angry man made me blue…..
    Following insane paths he tred,
    I never knew where they led.

    He’s crazy but can’t see it too,
    I never know what he’ll do,
    His fearful eyes glazing red,
    I can’t understand what he’s said.

    When his real self starts to show through,
    The rambling raging angry man
    He gets deep inside your head,
    Run away before you’re found dead.

    His words cut deep and to the core
    Words I never can forget no matter how much I try.
    I loved a psycho and did my best while he was dismantling me and killing me with his ways.
    The drink was his best friend the one he couldn’t live without.
    He never loved me….only the idea of me.
    My heart was kind and tender toward him thinking he would heal in time
    Instead he destroyed me day by day by day with his evil words.
    I guess no one ever told him love was a verb….. or that I was a person and not a door mat or punching bag.
    Now I try to piece myself back together everyday as I sit and cry
    I was in love with a man who never existed and must mourn him now. He is dead after all but I see a demon wearing his face…..the face I kissed and loved
    God how I ever loved you? And still miss you… were supposed to be my mate and my love forever
    Instead you destroy everything you touch. You said you loved me but love doesn’t hurt……you always hurt me with your venom which there seemed to be no end.


    Liked by 1 person

  12. Becky

    I looked up the word narcissist and this site came up. I’ve read it at least 2 times because I could not believe what I was reading. I feel like my ex is being described from A-Z and it’s so scary and it’s so horrible to realize that I have been involved with a person like that for 6 years.
    But honestly it all makes sense now. I really needed this to help me see through. To help me see what is going on and if I allow it to continue I might end up dead.
    Ladywithqtruck. Thank you for this.
    May God Bless You.

    I will look into counseling to help me get better and heal properly.

    I feel so damaged and so hurt I’m afraid to get involved with anyone.


    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      Becky, I am so glad I was able to give you some clarity and answer some questions for you. Please do find a good counselor who knows about narcissists, there are still some that really don’t understand how horrific an experience it is.
      As hard as it is, no contact is the only way to start healing.
      Don’t worry about wanting to date anyone else. Least of your worries right now. Worst thing you could do is to date someone else. Concentrate on yourself. Be patient with yourself. Read read read and work on building yourself back up better than before. Start the new year dedicated to becoming the best you that you can be. 2019 can be your year!
      Hugs Carrie



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