That is it! my poor baby girl is scarred for life. No she did not meet a narcissist, although the experience was much the same and she is having a similar reaction to the event. I find myself relating to her pain on a very real level. It is amazing how I can identify with her reactions.
Innocently enough, it all started about a week ago. We were going out for a walk and like all dog trainers will tell you to do; I went through the door first; leader of the pack and all that. I watch Ceasar.
The back door was open and the wind slammed the door shut HARD, I can only assume right in her face. She is a very sensitive girl and I figured right away that she thought I must be angry with her. (sound familiar? just like you loved the narcissist, only wanted to please him and were listening to him and what he wanted, trying to do everything right and BAM! he slammed the door in your face)
I went in the house and the door slammed behind me with such force it pulled the door knob right out of my hand. I found her huddled on the bed shaking. “Oh poor baby” I cooed and held her for a while. I had to coax her out the door but once we were outside she seemed just fine. I worked in the yard and she ran around alternately playing on the edge of the lake and chewing on a stick and then running full tilt up and down the shore; just being a puppy. We went for a long walk and then it came time to go back in the house and she refused. She didn’t run away, she sat at a distance; she didn’t want to disobey but she really didn’t want to go back in the house. I managed to coax her to the step with a piece of bacon but she would not come up the steps so I packed her in. The minute her feet hit the floor she scrambled to get back out the door but I blocked her way so she ran and jumped on the bed. I was hoping she would get over her fear but a week later it has gotten worse.
She was almost totally house trained, asking to go out to pee and hadn’t had an accident in the house for about a week but now she is afraid to go out the door and has taken to peeing on the new area rug I bought (because the old one had been peed on too many times and I figured seeing as she was house trained it was safe to buy a new carpet, besides she had chewed one corner of it). But she does go out to do her pooh outside. She goes out the back door to do her business, not the door that slammed shut in her face but she is afraid of both doors. I bought pee pads, but she won’t use them now because she has been taught to not use them and to go outside, but she refuses to go outside, thus my new carpet is the new pee pad.
I have tried changing the routine, we go to the store in the car after our playtime outside and go home right around supper time thinking she will want supper and when we get home we always go straight into the house. Now she refuses to get out of the car. She is sitting in the passenger seat, when I get out and go around to get her out she moves to the driver’s seat, if I got back to that side she moves to the passenger seat. Back and forth we go, I can tell she wants to obey and is afraid I will get angry but she can not bring herself to come. She digs in her heels and refuses to come. I try pulling on the leash, not too hard, I don’t want to choke her but she will not come. She has gotten so heavy I can barely lift her especially if I have to reach for her and she struggles. I have left her alone in the car for an hour thinking when I went out there she would be so happy to get out of the car she would come easily but nope, she still won’t get out. I know she is hungry but she won’t even take a treat because she knows I am sucking her into getting close enough to grab her.
Last night I left her out in the car for an hour and half and finally thought, “This is ridiculous! I pulled her close and grabbed her and packed her into the house, (its like packing a 50 lb hot water bottle, you can’t get a grip anywhere, she is just dead weight) Again when we got through the door she was scrambling to get away from the door not even letting me undo her leash and piddling the whole time.
I don’t know how to help my sweet little girl get over this. I understand her fear but I am fearful she is only going to get worse and heavier!