New Age Reversing Procedure

Since hitting 50 I haven’t recognized the woman staring back at me from the mirror, deep wrinkles, frown lines and just generally tired and drawn looking, no sparkle in the eyes.

I recently saw an ad on the net with Dr Oz from Oprah recommending a certain combination of creams that will reverse the aging process in a mere 2 weeks. The deal was; you get a free 2 week supply of the cream, if you don’t see a marked improvement in your looks you can send the product back but if you keep the creams you will automatically be sent a monthly supply at something like $75 a month. That works out to a hell of a lot of money!!

I have discovered an age reversing secret that is free, free forever!! and will more than likely SAVE you money!!! 

It is a painful procedure, but you can do it right from your own home, don’t have to miss work, it requires no anesthetic or chemicals, no surgery and no one will know you had it done. But you will start to hear, “What did you do? you look different”, “Have you changed your hairstyle?” “Something is different about you”

What is my secret age reversing procedure? I will share it with you and I want you to tell everyone you know, it could revolutionize the world!! 

LOSE THE NARCISSIST IN YOUR LIFE!!!!

I did say it is a painful procedure ……. but so worth it in the end!!

I used to be called “Smiley” or “Sunshine” by people. I love to smile, even on a down day I could always muster up a smile. The last two years with JC I noticed people weren’t calling me those nicknames any more and it didn’t matter how much time I put into making myself look nice I still looked tired and drained of life. 

I don’t have any pictures of me during those last few years because I did look so horrible I didn’t want my picture taken, any that were taken I destroyed.

I remember once JC was on the bed flipping through photo’s and a picture of me popped up on the screen and I looked horrible!! It was a picture of me sleeping on the couch, I was shocked at how awful I looked and went to hit the delete button but he was quicker than me and flipped to another picture before I had a chance. I made him promise to delete it! I didn’t want anyone to see it.

It was a few weeks later I was putting clean clothes away and his laptop was on the bed automatically flipping through photos as a screen saver, when an amateur porn video popped up. I recognized JC’s back almost immediately and wondered who the hell he was having sex with. Then I saw the tattoo on my ankle and realized with a mixture of horror and relief that it was me. I rewound it to the beginning and it was that picture of me sleeping on the couch. I don’t know if I was more devastated that he had taped us having sex and it might be on the internet or that anyone would see me looking that horrible. 

It was shortly after that, that I was loading the truck at a customers, it was Friday night and the guys were drinking beers. One of the fellows drags his buddy out of the shop and they stood there. I went about my business of loading the truck, when I turned back for another load the guy said, “See, what did I tell you? Great ass, right?! huh! didn’t I tell you?” The guy agreed. I blushed and said something sarcastic (if you are a lady scrap hauler you get used to guys making crude or rude comments and just laugh it off). then the guy asked how old I was and I said 53 (I was proud of the shape I was in for my age, but what he said next burst my bubble) He said,” From the back you look 35 at the most” (the other guy interjected “30” )and then you turn around and bam! 55″ He continued “35-55” (the other guy “30”) “30-55”  “30-55” all the while demonstrating what he meant by turning one way and then the other. I forget what I said, I just remember being mortified.

People started complimenting my ass more and more, I think because it was the only attractive thing on me, I stopped hearing that I looked nice or pretty.

The longer I am N-free the younger I look and the more I get told I am looking really good. People are asking me if I did something new to my hair, and they are smiling at me more and I realized I am smiling more without being aware I am doing it instead of reminding myself to smile. 

I have noticed a similar transformation has occurred with Paula, (sorry Paula no insult intended) from Paula’s Pontifications. When I first started visiting her blog (we have been away from our N’s about the same amount of time) I thought she was an attractive woman but recently I have noticed she is absolutely stunning and looks younger than she did 2 years ago. 

What really convinced me I was on to something was the other day when I saw a couple of pictures of JC’s new woman. I have never thought she was an attractive woman, (probably sour grapes on my part) but I was shocked at how old she is looking. She looks like she has been crying for days, or not slept for days, her smile is forced, she has more grey hair and everything about her just looks tired, strained and well………… she looks like I felt the last two years I was with JC and she is only in the first 2 years.  She is 6 years younger than me and she looks every bit as old as me if not older. But what really struck me were here eyes, they are almost pleading, it really bothered me, it made me remember the pain and I wouldn’t want my worst enemy to feel that kind of pain (well I would wish it on JC, but that’s the only person)

I had noticed with JC that he often took pictures of me at my worst and always took pics of himself at his best, posed, looking cool playing his guitar, on his motorcycle, taking his shirt off over his head to show his 6 pack, staring pensively off into the distance. Me? it was the first thing in the morning, when I had been cleaning house all day or when I was covered in grease or mud. He also would offer to take me out to eat at the end of the day after work and I would say I was dirty from work and really should change first and he would always say, he was grubby too and he was really hungry and lets just meet at the restaurant. I would concede and 9 times out of 10 I would get there looking like I hauled scrap all day and he would be dressed in clean clothes and looking great. I think he initially liked showing me off because he thought I was pretty but after time I think he liked it when he looked better than me. It certainly put him at an advantage and it eventually ate away at my self-esteem. But in reality, I got a lot of attention when I was at work, grubby or not, when a person is happy it doesn’t matter how they are dressed, their beauty shines through but the eyes don’t lie and stress will distort a person’s looks to the point of them not even looking like themselves.

They say eyes are the window to the soul and I believe that to be true. A person who is broken inside losing the sparkle in their eyes, the life is literally sucked out of them, their smile is forced and their foreheads are creased. I have noticed the same look in others eyes. When my first husband had his motorcycle accident and spent 10 weeks in ICU at VGH clinging to life, suffering the worst physical pain imaginable; his eyes lost their usual sparkle like a POW. You just had to look at him to know he had suffered. Just like when you see pictures of prisoners of war, sure their bodies show the ravages of torture and starvation but their eyes are what always stand out to me, you see their pain in their eyes, the eyes have always given me the chills. The eyes speak of a pain and horrors to horrible to put words to. The eyes show a person broken inside, a person who is still alive, walking, talking, smiling but inside they are dead.

I would be interested to hear from other survivors if they have noticed a drastic change in their appearance and if they have noticed they are looking younger and getting more compliments.

Just another benefit to losing the N in your life. While you are going through the pain of the discard just keep telling yourself that you are getting younger by the minute and his new woman is aging just as fast or faster.

The proof and the before picture is only from a year ago I looked worse 3 years ago. and a picture taken a couple of weeks ago.

 Which one do I look younger in?

Taken about a year ago
Taken about a year ago

2014-03-20 17.15.37

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16 Replies to “New Age Reversing Procedure”

  1. So true Carrie, I have a photo on my facebook taken just prior to meeting my xN. I was smiling, quite healthy, with a sparkle in my eye. I took a look at the photos taken from when I was in a relationship with him, I looked skinny, unhealthy and unhappy. My eyes are still dead, my face hasn’t returned yet. I guess it’s only been a month. I just hope it’s not irreversible! I feel like I’ve aged 10 years in only 3. I didn’t take care of myself at the end of the relationship anyway. He posted some awful photos of me on the internet. God they’re evil aren’t they. Truly crazy!
    If you ever miss your N, I find it helps to look at those sort of photos, even better, the ones (if he was physical) after a night of abuse.

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    1. I have a couple of pics from a couple of years into the relationship and I look like a some sort of Halloween ghoul. I lost so much weight, my cheeks were sunken. I have gained weight too and feel and look better. As long as I don’t keep gaining. I’ve had to buy all new clothes. But I am 5’11” and was wearing size 5-6. About 135lbs too light. But the stress just wore any weight right off.
      It hasn’t been long enough for you. Give yourself at least year to really get the life back in your eyes.

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  2. That was a great article. Stress is not only a silent killer, but can age the hell outta ya! I had to laugh when I first started reading your article. I thought you had lost your mind, and was going to get scammed by those fake “we’ll make you beautiful” ads. I kept reading, and it really hit home. I want you to know (all BS aside) that you look at least 15 years younger in that second photo. Whatever you are doing, it is working. The JC exorcism ought to be bottled and sold.

    I too have a narc in my life. He won’t leave me alone. He boots me out, I get my life back, and he comes back and won’t take no for an answer. I too am 55. Only 4 or 5 years ago, I could easily pass for my late 30s or early 40s. Now I look 60, and I have been told that I frown in my sleep. I used to be called “Smiley”. I am down to my high school weight and wear a size 2, which even at 5’4″ is too skinny. I hope one day, I too get the courage and resources to get far away. He has the cops thinking he is a great guy so they are no help. He has called me crazy and stupid at least 3 times in the last 2 days. He is going to South Africa in two weeks for a month. His son lives there. I know this is horrible, but I pray a lion eats him while he is there. Anything to keep him from coming back. My friends are all gone. He ran them off, but of course he won’t admit that. I am working my self to death to try and start a business, but he tries to sabotage that every chance he gets.

    I need to thank you for your blog. It is all that keeps me sane. At least, I have named my demon, and that does help me. I have learned it is not me, but him that is insane. Most of the time, I can ignore him, and laugh at him in my mind. I miss my kids, but he messed that up too. Keep up the good writing, and I know you will somehow save me. And, if you know any voodoo practitioners in South Africa, send me their name. LMAO!

    BTW, I write for a large beauty site, and can recommend some simple and effective, yet reasonably priced beauty products that will help us 55 year olds a bit, if you want to email me. They aren’t expensive, and do actually have years of documented research showing their efficacy.

    Take care of that pretty smile, and keep on, keeping on, kind and pretty lady!

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    1. Dia314, I am so sorry you are still living in Narcissist hell but glad I can help you stay sane and I assure you he is the crazy one and he will never change, only get worse. Most of the cops thought JC was great and I was the psycho bitch that the poor guy had to tolerate. Just seeing the words South Africa makes my stomach flip. JC went to Sudan as a volunteer on a farming project, ended up stealing from the charity, getting the daughter of the farm pregnant (a child herself) and got engaged to another young woman. It is narcissist heaven there. All the young girls will sleep with any guy from a foreign country in hope he will take her away from the hell she lives in. JC kept up the charade with the one he got engaged to for 3 years, kept telling her he was bringing her to Canada. She played him thinking he was her ticket out and he soaked it up like a sponge, his ego would never let him think she was idolizing him because she was using him. All so sordid and sick. I used to pray he would drop off the face of the earth, it would have made it so much easier. He almost didn’t make it back. the charity left him there to rot when they found out about the pregnant young girl but he called his mother and she begged for them to send him home. The head of the charity said, “I’ll buy him a ticket, it will be at the airport, how he gets there is his problem.” I didn’t know about the pregnant girl until after we split. Finding out about the one he got engaged to was enough for me. I had a hard time getting rid of him, I finally moved and wouldn’t let him come in my new place, after a few weeks he left for another province and I did so well. Then he begged his way back into my life, said he was dying of malaria and had 6 months to live. Haha I know I know, how could I be so stupid. But he cried, begged, made love to me like I have never been made love to, proposed, apologized for absolutely everything he ever did wrong and even to my son. Who lies about dying? My son even believed his apology. He came back to destroy me.
      You know that as long as you are with him he will sabotage your business, he will do everything he can to keep you in his control. He will never allow you to become independent enough to leave. I hate to be negative but well……..you know what I am talking about. Is there any way you could be gone when he comes back? It would be so much easier to leave if he isn’t there sabotaging you and playing head games etc. Plus you would have a month to get strong before he got back. Make sure you don’t have unprotected sex with him when he gets back, they seldom use protection even in Africa. They think they are all powerful and above things like STD’s. I was very lucky. I didn’t know about him having sex with other women until after we split, I really didn’t think he was actually screwing around on me, I truly didn’t. I thought the personal ads were just an ego boost. It still makes me sick to think about it.
      Your story sounds so familiar, my heart breaks for you. You know, once you are away from him all the broken fences with family and friends will be mended and the sun will come out and if you can just hang in life gets good again.
      I used to laugh about JC also, I still can laugh about some of the crazy shit he used to do. I got to know exactly when he had met a new woman, and anticipate how he was going to react to things, or when he would sabotage me there was a kind of comfort in being able to foresee the future, I got hooked on solving the mysteries, proving I wasn’t crazy. Even if only for my own sanity. I actually stopped reacting to a lot of things he did, even if he didn’t come home all night I just taught myself to not react because it didn’t do any good. But suppressing all that pain and stress left me with a bad heart and I have had two heart attacks in the past 2 years. Women who have been in an abusive relationship are 70% more likely to suffer from heart decease. You may think you are coping well but it eats away at you. So here I am with nothing not even my health and only 56. Please don’t wait too long, the time slips by, year after year and before you know it he has taken all he can from you and discards you for new supply. Believe me it will be much easier to leave him than to wait for him to discard you.
      I don’t mean to pressure you, you have to do what you feel comfortable with; it is just a golden opportunity while he is away.
      Thank you so much for your kind words and I am so glad I can be of some help to you.
      I pray God will help you be strong and keep you safe. let me know how you are doing ok?
      Hugs
      Carrie

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      1. Aw, Carrie, bless your heart! Thanks so much. Those are my thoughts exactly, but for some reason I think I needed to hear them from you too. I don’t have sex with him anymore (the thought makes me all pukey), and I have already vowed not to do so after he comes back from Africa. Absolutely yes to making some exit plans with my last true friend. He wants to help me get out on my own, and I am going to swallow my pride and take the help. He has been a life saver for many years during this crap, and I trust him completely. He doesn’t take advantage of women, EVER. He took me to the eye doctor for emergency surgery when my NARC’s dog attacked me, and ripped my upper and lower eyelids on one eye. When I told my Narc, he just rolled over in his bed, and said to quit being so dramatic. I had to have emergency surgery, and this kind friend drove me 50 miles to the hospital, stayed with me, brought me back to his house and cared for me. I am going to trust him and take the help he offered to find my own place.

        I know I can’t beat him at his own game, but since I found your blog, I have been able to name my demon. It does give me courage to be able to laugh at his pitiful attempts. His old tricks no longer produce the same results in me, but I do know they are still harming my psyche.

        I know you hear this all the time, but you saved my life after I found your blog. I am much better than I was, and maybe now I have the strength to end this all. My friend knows judges and police, so maybe he can help me there too. I swear that if I ever win the lottery, I will buy you the most beautiful cabin you could ever imagine. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Blessed be, Miss Carrie! Stay safe and be kind to yourself. And no kidding, you have a “glow” in that second photo! Hugs, Dia314

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        1. Awwww Dia you made me cry! you can do this. Everyone needs help sometimes, if you have a trusted friend (and it sounds like he is a really nice guy) please take the help. There is no shame in accepting help. It is almost impossible to leave an N without some help. I can’t believe your N just laid in bed and didn’t take you to the hospital. Well yes I can believe it because my ex did the same thing. I couldn’t breath I was so sick and I begged him to take me to emerg. When I went blue he decided it was time he took me. They are not human.
          It is never easy to leave. I had a friend who arranged for a place for me to live, it was a hell hole and I didn’t want to live there but I had made my decision and wasn’t going to back out now. I knew there weren’t many people willing to help me, and if I turned her down it might be my last chance to get away.
          You can survive anything for a day. You just have to take that first step, once you are out the door and away from his influence you start to really see things clearer. Even if you think you see the craziness now and know what you are dealing with; it isn’t until you away completely that the insanity of it all really hits you between the eyes.
          I still can not believe how insane my life with JC was but insanity becomes the norm.
          I am sure once he is in Africa awhile and you have time to think clearly and not always be in damage control mode you will come to some decisions.
          Keep in touch please and I am sending you positive thoughts.
          Hugs
          Carrie

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            1. Dia thank you!! 🙂 We would probably be great friends if we lived closer. I so often wish I could somehow gather everyone in one place so we could all meet and give each other real hugs. I think it is amazing that all these women felt they were alone and crazy and then we meet on the internet and become such strong support for each other.
              The internet can be a wonderful thing, prior to the net women suffered in silence and alone their whole lives not knowing there were others out there, not having information at their finger tips.
              Oh I forgot, on one of your other comments you mentioned wishing ill to your N when he goes to South Africa. I wouldn’t worry about becoming an N, for one thing that fact that you are worried about wishing he would just disappear proves you are not an N. But it does show how you would never do it because you suffer such guilt over even thinking about it; imagine the N with no guilt feelings or conscience; what is there to stop him from carrying through with his thoughts? you can see how it would grow in his mind an he would act on it.
              I used to wish JC would just die. He road motorcycle and just after we split I heard about a guy on a bike who died in a horrible accident, close to where JC was living. I felt awful but my first reaction was to hope it was him; if he died I wouldn’t have to deal with all the pain and the harassment. I wouldn’t have to see him with another woman etc
              Let’s face it, if he was to die in Africa you could be the grieving widow, no one would be listening to him slander you, you would never have to see him again or deal with his shit. You could grieve the man you thought you loved and not face the truth about him. You could remember him anyway you wanted. It would make life so much easier. But we all know you don’t really wish him ill; well maybe a little bit, like maybe his penis rots and falls off or something. 🙂
              Don’t worry I think you are quite normal. There have been women who were pushed over the edge and have killed their abusive partner but I don’t think you are thinking that. It would just be nice if the earth swallowed him up or the world really is flat and he sailed off the edge.

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  3. Carrie, you got me laughing out loud at your revelation!

    Not so funny after that. I used to be quite a Star Trek fan, and in TNG there was an episode (Man of the People) that demonstrated what you said following your revelation.

    A renowned negotiator in this episode had the ability to channel his negative emotions into another person, a “receptacle”, which allowed him to be clear-minded and level-headed as a negotiator. Unfortunately, this caused the accelerated aging and death of the receptacles within a few years. He knew this, and without remorse used up one “receptacle” after another, telling himself it was for the greater good of his work. Long before I ever heard of narcissism, I knew this episode was something like what I was living with. I thought that is how most men were toward women, just using us up and throwing us away without remorse.

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  4. Mary Lee, I loved the old star trek but never watch TNG. That is eerie, it describes a narcissist to a T.; Whoever wrote that script must have known a narcissist. it is true, the N is always cool, calm and collected (at least in front of other people) and the victim ends up packing it all.
    Thanks for the comment! Glad you got a chuckle.I always picture all these guys in a big auditorium and the devil walks in and starts handling out “how to” manuals. N’s always think they are so special and unique when in reality they are all carbon copies of each other.

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