Working hard and being passionate are the keys to wiping out sociopathic influence

Yes yes yes!!!!

Love—Life—OM

This is a bit of a rant. I don’t rant much. (Or maybe I do.) Let’s blame it on the cardinal cross…

People wonder why I get so angry when it comes to the sociopath, the boy in my story. They wonder why I can’t just stop wishing he’d die and why I continue praying he has no children. I must have had my heart completely crushed to be able to get so fueled by the thought of the sociopath still breathing?

No. My heart was not broken by the sociopath. Coming to the realization that there are people out there with zero empathy, zero ability to be remorseful and absolutely zero remnants of a working conscience broke my spirit. A broken spirit stings and bleeds more profusely than any broken heart I’ve ever experienced. Nothing compares to coming face-to-face with the crushing reality that everything you love is everything…

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10 thoughts on “Working hard and being passionate are the keys to wiping out sociopathic influence

  1. LOL. Hey, don’t sweat it none wishing the psychopath would finally croak and leave this world a better place because he isn’t in it. I’m kind of finally getting past this, but I still have moments I wish the SOB would bite the dust! Truth be told, I think that’s a very common wish and desire! Well, we’re all human! We’re not perfect, and we were badly hurt! It’s probably to be expected that anger and I think even Hate at times is part of the grieving and healing process. I wish you all the best! Hang in there ladies!

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    • I agree Linda, this forgive and forget BS is meant for people other than narcissists. When breaking up with a narcissist a little hatred goes a long way towards healing in my mind. How can you forgive someone who tried to destroy you and doesn’t have one ounce of remorse for do it? He doesn’t want forgiveness, he is proud of what he did. At one point I thought I had forgiven JC but it passed and nope I still held a grudge against him and I probably always will. I certainly won’t be sending him a xmas card LOL

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  2. I have been feeling stronger everyday. Yes, I wish God placed a slow painful death on him, but that is not up to me.
    I can only control me.
    When. I found out about his new girlfriend moving in, I sent him a letter, telling him exactly who he is, listing all of his traits, pathological liar, cheater, selfish, controlling, possessive, jealous. I also included how he sucked in bed, was boring and how I. Couldn’t stand to listen about all his BS accomplishments.
    Gee, I never got a response from him.
    Then, when I found out about the STD and I came within months of having cervical cancer! he couldn’t care less. That is the part that I sometimes have trouble with, but Intellectually I know, he has no conscience, empathy, so I am learning to let it go too. I know he is not human, he just breaths and his heart pumps ice instead of blood.
    So I called him a narcissist, and defined to him what he really is.
    I have not heard from him since jan 26, 2014, guess he is too in love with his new lady, who will have cervical cancer, since I am sure she believed his lies! instead of my truth.
    I believe I am pretty sure, when you expose them for who they really are, they will leave you alone.
    Susan

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    • Susan, sorry to break it to you but nothing deters them. It took JC a whole year to start sniffing around again. At first they are busy winning over the new woman but usually within the year they have made some sort of contact. They very rarely just walk away. They have to make your life hell, if anything telling them what they are only makes them want to hurt you more because they hate being exposed. If you told his new g/f right now he is busy doing damage control and being the sweetest guy she would ever want to meet to make you look like the nut case.
      But he will be busy for a while so use the time to work on getting yourself healed and strong; just in case he does make a curtain call.
      You will have good days and bad days, days you hate him and days you might even miss him. Just like being with him was an emotional roller coast so is the healing from him. It is an awful lot to absorb and process. Just be patient with yourself and remember, he is the sick one that is why he can move on so quickly. If you are healed from all this in a year you will be doing very well. Hugs Carrie

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  3. So true Carrie. All of it is right on target! There is good days, bad days – a roller coaster that seems like it will never end – but it does!

    Reading Susan’s comment, I felt like I’d met a kindred spirit because I’ve wanted to do the same by telling him off, and what he was.

    Wait! I already did that shortly after my D&D! I have already TOLD him that I knew he was a predator and I knew he would hurt his newest victim. He seemed surprised that I was catching on so quickly without even knowing his pathology! So what happened?

    I was given the EXTREME D&D – I was totally ignored in order to made to feel completely WORTHLESS! It’s their ultimate goal, to rip you to shreds, and make you feel absolutely worthless!

    I kept after him, took several hundred dollars from his checking account (legally as my name was on the account too for every time he made nasty references to me!).

    I warned the newest victim as well! I posted his profile and photos on cheater websites so future prospective victims might find them and be warned he was a dangerous pathological con artist!

    At the end, he ran off screaming – “I was insane! I was insane!” Truer words were never spoken by a pathological!

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  4. (Be forewarned this contains poignant profanity)

    THIS is exactly why I have maintained my no contact. Why I have not backed off the order of protection I want. This is why I am going to have to be cross examined on a witness stand. This is why I have felt like absolute shit the last two months. I am drained because it sucks the wind out of the sails of your take on humanity to realize there are people out there who can who can mimic being a human with such ease. This is why I don’t get how in the hell you can put so much effort into being this monster and put that same amount of effort into being a empathetic person like most of us are. I realize they cannot but it pisses me off none the less. So this is why when my heart starts to feel sorry for this mother fucker I correct it with my head because he does not DESERVE an ounce of me backing off when it comes to the law…..and he doesn’t DESERVE an ounce of MY time. In fact when I have to pay to park and take time off work to fight this shit in court it just makes it that much easier to NEVER talk to him again because once again HE IS WASTING MY TIME. Once you ladies wrap your head around the fact that he doesn’t love you it sets part of you free…..or it did me….and granted it took me awhile to get that…it is incredibly hard to process it because you cannot imagine doing it to anyone….but it is honestly easy to figure it out….you can read the signs….you can even safely test your N with simple things…..the hard part is taking what you see…..and using it….this is when I was really struggling within my soul about what to do…..this is when I truly started to doubt my self worth and my sanity….this is when I felt absolutely worthless to anyone…..then I got a grip…..I read texts that I sent to my close friend about this….I read things I wrote on a blog that is private….I read what Carrie had been through…..I felt so alone in all this I wrote Carrie because I just wanted someone to understand….I was grasping at anything to try and retain my relationship,,,,,when I finally got it….he doesn’t love me….the longer I stay here the longer the abuse is going to continue. The longer it is gong to take me to heal. So I moved home to my mother with my tail between my legs, my soul gutted and looked like a shell of the woman I once was. I let him take that much of me. OMFG I was enraged when I saw how much he had taken and my duration was shorter than some of y’all here…..but I was pissed…..so yesterday for the first time in forever I washed my hair….I shaved my legs….I took a shower….because I was not doing the basics anymore…..which is sad…..I don’t think about my N anymore……I don’t rattle it all around in my brain and my soul because I have the answers…..It isn’t the kind of closure most women want but with a N I assure you it is the only one you are going to get. I’m not perfect……I’m still healing but I am doing that alone because you will never have an ounce of healing of you remain in contact. I will fight to maintain my ground within the guidelines of the law because I did not do anything other than loved him….but he will remain out of my life….and I did say loved….because that is gone. He took some of me with him but I’m going to rebuild…and I rebuild with the knowledge that these type of people do exist…and right now…..that is all I need.

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  5. (((((((((((Bluescitygirl)))))))))))) big hugs to you. Good for you taking a shower and such. I have been there and it can seem like too much effort but it is a positive step in healing. Take it as a victory for yourself.
    You WILL rebuild and it may not feel like it right now, you will be stronger and more confident and at peace than ever before.
    Not everyone gets the chance to rebuild themselves from the ground up again. It takes an especially soul crushing experience to be that broken down BUT as you put yourself back together and look at the relationship through new informed eyes you will learn to appreciate the great things about yourself and cherish them. Once you are done healing you will no longer doubt if you should feel a certain way, you will respect yourself too much to ever take that kind of shit from anyone ever again. not just romantic partners but family, friends, strangers whoever.
    It is a wonderful feeling to know you are ok, you are fantastic and that you did nothing wrong, you loved someone incapable of love, there was nothing wrong with the way you loved.
    I can’t describe the feeling but I know others have felt it too, it is like a switch gets flipped at some point and all of a sudden you have an epiphany and realize you are ok, your are a damn good person.
    You will get there!!
    Hugs
    Carrie

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  6. Carrie,
    I don’t think there will be curtain calls, we have broken up twice before, this time, I changed my phone numbers and like you said, he is working on his new victim, who has to be dumber than shit, to know he has lied to her since the first day he met her and that he is spreading the HPV cervical cancer virus, yet she believes he loves her. He is going to have a field day with her. I don’t miss him at all, I am learning how to rebuild my life, don’t care about his.
    I think he knows I am not the dumb shit like the one currently living with him, I think he really has NO balls and will stay clear away from me? He can try whatever he wants, it doesn’t matter, I don’t love him, and he has already done whatever damage there is to do. When someone can be so reckless and give me what he gave me, there isNEVER FORGIVENESS.
    He won’t be making curtain calls. I am learning how to rebuild my life, he has never been able to diminish my success in my career and my family. I feel for some of you that have lost it all but, I guess I could say, other than emotionally being hurt and physically as long as I keep getting checked I will be all right. I made out financially well and got to go on many vacations, all on his dime.
    Let’s say, I financially got the Narcissist
    Yes, might he try, possibly, but i got my NYC Brooklyn attitude now and When it comes to him I can be a narcissist too, because there is no empathy, conscience, when it comes to him, for everyone else in this world, I have Love, caring and emotion.
    I think all of us that has experienced all of this should turn Narc on them and we will heal much faster.
    Susan

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    • Susan, you know yourself better than anyone and how to heal yourself; everyone heals differently. Not being destroyed financially is a big “bonus” (if you can call it that) for you. So many, I would venture a guess at 75% of the victims are left destitute, with no where to live, no job and no support system. Having your family’s support is another HUGE benefit many women don’t have. So you are definitely ahead of the game there. Having a Brooklyn attitude no doubt will also work in your favor. I haven’t witnessed a Brooklyn attitude myself being from Canada but I have seen it on TV and I wouldn’t want to mess with you, 🙂
      It took me a long time to get mad, I couldn’t believe I wasn’t a raging maniac after all he did to me but I could not find the anger and was stuck in the hurt. There are levels to healing, and we have to go through them all in order to heal and not back baggage with us and truly move on. everyone goes at their own pace and deals with the emotions of healing in their own order. If a person takes a year, 2 or 3 years does not mean they are weak or doing something wrong; we all have our own story and circumstances.
      Hugs
      Carrie

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  7. Carrie,
    you are right, I did not say, I was healed, by no means. Since, we are all human and they are not, it is painful for us to go through this. I live in Vegas, and after my sig. Other passed away in2006, I mellowed and lost my NY attitude, I was like mush.
    When my doctor diagnosed me with the cervical cancer virus for his cheating and whoring around, my mushy emotions, turned into a NY narcissist no conscience bitch towards him and all those associated with him, because they all knew he was cheating on me, and not caring how his recklessness caused me the physical harm, it did. Carrie, I had so much info on this SOB, I turned him and all of them to every government agency.
    This is about all their reckless disregard for another human beings life and how none of his friends cared, screw them all.
    He wants this woman, that’s fine, this virus he gave me its not from her, it’s from all of them before her., and like I said, she was warned she wants cervical cancer that is her choice.
    My anger and hatred is more about the std, then anything else.
    I try to stay positive and say to myself, Now, I have the opportunity to someday meet someone that will really love me. That is how I get through the days.
    Susan

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