This is a link to another Shane Koyczan video. I love this guy, I find him so inspirational and I believe he is Canadian, correct me if I am wrong. He is the epitome of someone who was oppressed and bullied, and he took his talent and courage and started to speak out and now he is an inspiration to people around the world and has made a change in the world for the better, speaking out about bullying.
We think of children when we think about bullying but it is the same for anyone who is criticized for who they are, perceived or factual. Some days we pack the weight of the world on our shoulders, we start to feel sorry for ourselves and the slightest problems grow to insurmountable proportions, overwhelming us. It is easy to get on roll, where you wake up and maybe you had a bad dream or for whatever reason you are miserable. You can’t get motivated to do anything but drag yourself out of bed and wouldn’t you know you are out of coffee. You go to get dressed and the shirt you were going to wear has a button missing. You think, “Why doesn’t anything ever go smoothly??” You lose your car keys and frantically tear the house apart looking for them only to find them still in the door from last night. You start the car and it is on E and the light goes on. NOW you have to stop for gas and you are already late! Figures!!
You are pissed now and of course there is a lineup at the gas station and that idiot ahead of you has to fill his tank and you are in a hurry!! then on the road you are cut off by some moron and you give him the finger and honk. By the time you get where you are going you are fit to be tied and even someone opening the door for you pisses you off. “What? do you look helpless? You can open your own damn door!!” When, mid afternoon you can’t find the file you know you just had and need right now! it is enough to bring you to tears. You go home and the dog is waiting at the door and is so happy to see you and you trip over him as he excitedly bounces in front of you wanting attention and you snap at him to get out of your way and promptly breakdown in tears. What is wrong with you?? Why are you so sensitive, biting the kids heads off for just being kids? crying over things that really don’t matter?
It is called stress, it is called being at the end of your rope, maxed out, running on overload, PTSD, in other words you are on emotional overload. For so long you operated at maximum sensitivity, trying to please the N, figure out what he was doing, dealing with what he was doing, trying to stop what he was doing, and understand what he was doing and then accept what he was doing because he told you there was something wrong with you for being upset over what he was doing.
You were either second guessing your feelings, stifling them or riding an emotional roller coaster. One thing for sure, you were never allowed your feelings, they were always wrong, and they always expected more from you. More understanding, more forgiveness, more damage control, more loving, more, more, more and now if one more person expects you to give, understand or accommodate them you think you will explode! It is just too much for one person to handle, you want off the ride, you want to sleep for …………. ever! Doesn’t anyone understand?? This one is for you! Much love and hugs to all.