Update On Jill

Grrrrrrrr It happened again, I did up a post and when I hit the publish button it appeared to post but there was nothing there. SOOOO I am going to try again.

I received an email today from the FBI updating me on what transpired when they went to check on Jill. I have copied and pasted it below.

I have sent a thank you email saying how impressed I am with the prompt response of the FBI.

I have to say I am pleasantly surprised by the FBI, truthfully I had not expected much from them, certainly not a same day response and now the follow up email. I am seriously impressed.

Compared to how the local police responded in a similar circumstance 15 years ago with me it’s like night and day. Fifteen years ago I was attending Sprott Shaw Community College full time upgrading my business management skills, I was living with JC in a very remote area of Mission as care takers of a gravel pit. My car had broken down and there were no buses running out that way.  I had a choice of classes in the morning from 7-1 or afternoon from 2-7 and had told JC I didn’t care what time I went and that if he could just drop me off I would wait how ever many hours until classes started or after classes until he could pick me up. If he could get me to the bus stop I would ride the bus, anything!  

We had been split and he had begged me to come back to him, things had been going really well between us and I was really enjoying school, plus I was getting a sizable cheque every month for living expenses, as long as I had 75% attendance and passed the course I didn’t have to pay the money back. It was a chance of a lifetime and I was enjoying being back in school, it was so much more fun than when I was in school years ago. I was the oldest in the class and top of the class. JC got a job as the caretaker of a gravel pit, which meant free accommodation. I agreed to move with him on one condition; I had to be able to get to school, of course he agreed. But now JC refused to “be my taxi service” so I was not able to attend classes. To not drive me to classes was biting off his nose to spite his face because as soon as I stopped attending classes my funding was cut and I got no money.

We had been fighting about me expecting him to “drop everything and play taxi driver to my whims” and he had gone into a rage and thrown stuff all over the tiny trailer we were in and stormed out. I was trying to clean up and crying at the same time when a cop car with a lone female cop in it pulled into the pit. I cracked the door, embarrassed by how I must look. I thought to myself, she must be thinking “trailer trash”. She said that the school had called, they were very concerned about my safety and wanted the police to chec on me. She said they had a bit of a hard time finding me because there are a few gravel pits in the area.

Some of the teachers had seen me leaving the school with JC and I had been crying. I remembered, that was the day the car broke down and i had to call JC for a ride home. I had forgotten my laptop in the class and one of the professors had followed us out to the truck and handed it to me. He had really looked at my eyes like he was trying to communicate telepathically.  I guess they talked about it and decided to call the police.

The cop asked me if I was ok and I had whispered “No” I knew JC was out there some where watching, I looked out past the cop but I couldn’t see him but I could feel his eyes on me. The cop asked if I wanted help to leave and I started to cry and nodded my head yes.

My mind was racing, “If you leave that’s it, you can never go back”, “He is going to kill you if you stay”, “I don’t want to live like this any more” I was prepared to leave right that minute, leave my stuff behind and just go. I was wondering if the cop was going to let me pack anything but she didn’t say anything and just went back to her patrol car. I waited, got my coat and put some makeup in a bag and charge of clothes and next thing I know she is driving away.

I didn’t have a cell phone, lived miles and miles from even a bus stop, if I screamed out there no one heard me, it was the blackest darkest dark I had ever seen, because there was no light any where from street lights or other homes, at night you could not see your hand in front of your face if there wasn’t a full moon. 

JC appeared almost immediately wanting to know what she wanted and I told him the school had been concerned and called them to check on me. He asked me what I had told the school to make them think i was in danger. I said nothing, they had seen me leaving in tears that day and were concerned. He asked what I had told the cop and I said I told her I was fine.

A week later a cop car with two male cops in it pulls up, one cop gets out and walks right past JC with a brown manila envelop in his hand, hands me the envelop and walks past JC again, gets in his patrol car and they drive off. Of course JC wants to know what is in the envelop and a fight ensues. That night he threw all my stuff out into the rain, including my tobacco can without the lid on it so I lost it all. As I was trying to retrieve my stuff he threw a glass at me, it hit my head and fell to the ground and broke into a hundred shards. I was in bare feet, tripped trying to get away, fell and got a shard of glass in the top and bottom of my foot. JC slammed the trailer door and refused to let me in.

Then friends of his showed up and he morphed into the concerned, loving husband and gave me a shot of Rye for the pain while he dug the glass out of my foot.

There was a restraining order on him, he could have been arrested either of the times the cops came but they never said anything about it or even asked for his ID. I know I know!! I make no claims that i did everything right, in fact I fully admit I did almost every thing wrong. What was I doing with him when there was a restraining order saying he was to stay away from me. Well, he had convinced me that there had been a mistake, a misunderstanding. you know the drill. 

So anyway, after my experiences with the cops I did not hold a lot of hope that the FBI would act on my email. But not only did they act they followed up with me. To say I am impressed is an understatement.

Here is the email i received today. And btw I have not heard from Jill since her comment saying the FBI had been there and she had been beaten …..help me! From what I can tell from my IP tracking app she has not visited the site since.

Ms. Reimer,
 Please be advised that an OSBI agent was dispatched to conduct a welfare check based upon the information you provided. Contact was made with Jill Constantino. She did not appear to be in immediate danger and was offered an opportunity to leave with the agent, but opted to stay at the home. She was provided information regarding victim’s rights and contact information for victim’s rights hotlines. 
 
 Sunne Riedel Day
 OSBI Legal Counsel

 

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10 Replies to “Update On Jill”

  1. That don’t sound too good…. kind of short for an explanation, no? Even if my case isn’t over yet, I was very fortunate that the RCMP officer that responded and stayed with me since last July has truly been a Godsend and continues to be until the proverbial fat lady will sing…hopefully on June 9th when sentencing is handed down. A note for Jill: If you truly wish to get out, the first step will be the hardest but the most important.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thanks for the update Carrie, although it makes me sad, it is what we all assumed. She chose not to leave 😦 For whatever reason, but it was HER choice, no one can force her. Not even to keep herself safe. I hope she doesn’t live to regret her decision.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. To say I find Jill’s response to the FBI’s offer of assistance to leave her abuser after her cries for ‘Help” is confusing to say the least!

    Perhaps there is some Stockholm Syndrome going on. or I think more likely Jill fears that once out of there she might not be able to survive on her own may be at the root of the problem. What happens now?

    Jill seemed to be a lady of few resources and dealing with some serious handicaps. She is in a bad place in more ways than one if you see what I’m getting at! No money, no job, no home, no transportation, no family, no friends, and with a physical disability to boot if I remember correctly!

    I have no experience with any, but I’ve heard shelters provide only limited relief for a few days or weeks. Facing that I’d be scared and insecure too! Perhaps she would require placement in a “group home”?

    Yes? Maybe it’s time to contact the Oklahoma Department of Social Services so they can see she gets the care she needs if that’s possible.

    If you suspect that a vulnerable adult is the victim of abuse, neglect or exploitation, please contact your Local County Office during regular business hours (8-5). After regular business hours, call the Statewide Abuse Hotline: 1-800-522-3511.

    DHS Hotlines
    Main DHS Switchboard/Information and Referral
    (405) 521-3646
    Adult Abuse Reporting
    Contact your Local County Office
    After hours only: 1-800-522-3511

    Some Available Services that might help:

    Developmental Disabilities Services
    Waiver Services
    Community Waiver
    In Home Supports Waiver

    State Funded Services
    Family Support Assistance Program
    Group Homes
    Sheltered Workshop
    Community Integrated Employment (CIE)
    Guardianship Assistance
    Assisted Living
    Respite
    Volunteer Services

    http://www.okdhs.org/contactus

    At this point, it’s hard not to think this cry of “wolf” might have been a bid for attention or pity. It gets hard to take such victims serious. I’m not buying it though. I think there is more to this story than we know!

    Yes, the FBI’s response was amazing! Makes me proud! At least you gave her a choice! Nobody could expect more than that!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Carrie….my heart and my soul is forever grateful to you, and EVERYONE, out there, that actually, (for the first time in too long…my Mommy’s 3rd Anniversary of her passing, is May 19th….and Mother’s Day to boot…blah blah blah…lol) well, meant The World to me and Sebastian….Unfortunately, i was very rudely and intimated by the gentlemen who abrubtly pounded on my camper door at 9:00 A.M., and, after reading Carrie’s latest post, and everyone else’s, I know you ALL understand (well…maybe…hopefully…lol)….anyway, i only have a second left to text and have pictures of what happened to me as a result of the OSBI’s visit…..I am hurt but feel a sense of empowerment and stood up to Lisa today and told her, “I do not want to be with YOU anymore or EVER….I will make arrangements (somehow…lol) to GET OUT ASAP…” …..and she has been hysterical ever since…..REALLY??? like, begging me for “another chance”….”some hope of fixing US”….sorry but, WTF???? i DO NOT want to hear any of it…..but truly have no where to go….no clue what i am going to do…but, somehow, am confident, that Sebastian and I will “figure it out…??”….going to sell my car but not sure what or where after that…..i have to go and not sure how to attach my pics – duh….i am NOT tech savvy AT ALL…but please do not give up on me and Sebastian…Thank You, does not even begin to express what we feel in our hearts….but, THANK YOU SO….more to come….xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jill, I am relieved to know you are ok! I was very worried. I was hoping that they would have gotten a hold of me so I could have given you a heads up that they were coming. But they said that they gave you a list of numbers etc, You might have to just call them and see what is available for you. Tell them your problems with Ptsd etc they are used to it and they are trained to deal with those things. I am sure there isn’t much they haven’t dealt with. We are here for you as moral support. It won’t be easy especially if Lisa starts being nice, but just know they never change, not for long. Be careful!! the most dangerous time in a domestic abuse situation is when the victim leaves.
      I don’t think you can attach pictures to a comment, I am not sure. You can email them to me for safe keeping if you want, as evidence, I won’t post them, but it is always good to have pictures in case and Lisa might erase them if she gets a chance.
      Be CAREFUL!! and please keep us informed.
      Hugs and tons of positive energy heading your way.
      Carrie

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I am here to tell you that it sounds like u are just getting what u probably deserve after surprising the man u took everything from one day to leave with your newfound lesbian lover! You knew especially how much that drumset meant to him but there is something u will never know lady that I do because I was the one who was there for him just as a friend and with him as he lay curled up in depression the night u pulled that shit on him. He tried to stay at his mother’s house but she would not let him rest..He mourned, not the loss of his stuff but the loss of his wife not for just days but months! But the first few days I could only wake him to eat enough to keep the man from starving to death. One day after finally getting out into the light of day, he askd to borrow my car to get cigarettes. After 5 Hours he still hadn’t returned so I called my cousin to come take me to look for him. I didn’t have to go far to find my car…It was parked at the little blue house the two of you once called home.

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    1. I have no idea why she left me there. I have always wondered that myself. I replayed it in my mind, maybe she didn’t notice that I nodded my head? she was late for lunch? who knows. They knew they were coming up because people thought I was in danger, you would think she would have been prepared to take me away with her. The brown manila envelop was full of information pamphlets on domestic violence. I guess that was supposed to be my “help getting away” because that cop didn’t even ask if I wanted to leave.
      You have to understand too, this place was isolated! I walked out of there one day to a girlfriend’s, it was something like 8 miles and I got to her place and she wasn’t home. I sat on her step for a couple of hours and headed back home. I didn’t get home until after midnight, the last mile or two the road went through forest, bears, wolves, coyotes, and no street lights, along a lake at one point. I was so scared. a couple of cars drove past and I would be so relieved to see another person out there and the head lights would light my way for a bit but then I would get scared that they might stop and kill me. I was petrified. I got back to the pit and JC was in the trailer. I asked him if he was worried and he said, “Why would I be?” I said because I wasn’t home and it was midnight. He said, “I thought you were out in the pit some where.” I was so damned happy to have made it home.
      I did call some of the numbers on the information the cop gave me and none of the shelters had a bed available and no one was willing to drive all the way up there. I was told that if I could get to town I could have coffee and talk to a worker but I would have to go home. I said no thanks.
      I think a lot has changed in 13-14 years, I sure hope so.
      Some of the stuff I went through seems surreal now. At one point I even took his truck while he was napping and went to the Social Services office and told them I needed help, that I was trying to leave an abusive relationship and I had taken my spouses truck. She told me that there was an 8 week waiting period for welfare and I had to have an address. I said, “But I just told you I have no place to live, I just left an abusive man.” She shrugged and said, “Look there are other people in line can you move.” I had to drive back home and face JC after taking his truck without asking. That time my stuff got driven over with a bobcat he was using to clear some land.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Unfortunately, a lot of times, people in government service are poorly trained, lack sufficient empathy or just don’t know what to do or how to behave with people in a crises situation.

    I’ve there a time or two myself, didn’t get the help I needed, and was forced back into an abusive situation or became the brunt of further abuse from people who were supposed to be helping me!

    I can still feel the pain and distress from dealing with jerks and assholes who refused to help me or hear my cries for help! It’s awful and intensely traumatizing! So much so, if or when it happens again, you learn to keep quiet and find a way to deal with it in some way yourself!

    In recent years, some situations were improved and alleviated to prevent others from being hurt like was (and you too!)…Things can be better. We can try to help others as the case may be if it’s possible.

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