I love this new song by Danny Fernandes. I just found out he is Canadian! It reminds me of loving a narcissist.
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Don’t Get Too High – If You Can”t Come Back Down
Published by Carrie Reimer
I think everyone at one time or another thinks, "If I only knew then what I know now." I share my life experiences in hopes a few less people have to look back and want a "do over". Through my Lady Witha Truck blog I have spent 8 years sharing my experiences while being in an abusive relationship with a man I consider to be a narcissist/psychopath and through my other blog, Reimer Reason I share lessons learned throughout the 60 years of my life. No experience is a waste as long as you learn from it and if I can save someone else making the same mistakes I made, then it makes it all worth while. I am an expert on my life, not yours, my opinions are my own, not yours, and I enjoy open respectful communication on most topics. If I don't have an answer I will research it until I do. I have a sweetheart of a dog named Stella, a 4 year old Pitbull, Mastiff cross. I am artistic, enjoy bringing new life to antiques, gardening, refurbishing and repurposing other people's "garbage", reading, writing and being outside in nature. I have a 34 year old son who I am extremely proud of and a 7 yr old granddaughter I don't see near enough. I live on welfare after a lifetime of working full time because I have heart failure. I have gone from being a home owner and landlord to being homeless and living in my car. I continually strive to be the best me that I can be and look at life as a learning experience and an opportunity to learn about other people and myself. Never a dull moment! View all posts by Carrie Reimer
Progress! I made it through the whole song! Even a year ago…and it’s been 2 and a half years…I probably would not have made it though such a song.
I agree it reminds me of loving a narcissist. At the end though I was so confused and back and forth on my feelings (there was also a moral issue involved with our particular entanglement) but I continued to grasp, because he wasn’t LIKE a drug to me, he IS a drug to me. And that’s even despite certain things about him that repulsed me.
Songs like this, well, maybe I should listen to them more often because then I could get to my sadness and other real emotions of mine because I’ve gotten to the point of numb and can’t seem to shake it.
These songs also remind me of my ambiguity. I miss him and don’t. I want him to knock on my door, apologize for certain things and then work things out. (Knowing full well that will NEVER happen.) But then at the same time I don’t wish that and know that I will be able to boot strap my life much better without him.
The reality is that I NEED him to stay away from me the way an alcoholic has to stay out of bars and make new non-drinking friends.
And more reality is that I miss a mirage, what I thought he was and even what I believed myself to be when I felt strong and special within our bubble…which again in reality was completely distorted.
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safire, I think it is normal to every once in a while still wish it could have been different. “And more reality is that I miss a mirage, what I thought he was and even what I believed myself to be when I felt strong and special within our bubble…”
Its sad that it was a fantasy, a cruel joke that we think we found the love of our life and he is nothing but a mirage. I know sometimes I remember the good times, how “special” I felt, how I felt I could face anything as long as I was in his arms. I would never go back, and I am disgusted with him and what he does and has done but I understand when you say you NEED him to stay away.
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