2 thoughts on “Defining myself

  1. loujean

    Hello Everyone

    Well it has been a little while since I posted. So much has happened.

    Firstly, Carrie I would like to apologise for deleting you from my linkedin account but since there are people from work who can review my profile who are linked to my N I thought it might be best just in case they check out your blog and see my posts. No offence meant..

    In my last post I let you all know that N pleaded guilty in a court of law to harassing me. He has now been sentenced to a 12 month community order. However, my place of work are still contemplating allowing him back into the work place. Unbelievable isn’t it. I guess there is to much red tape.

    He has since then been meeting up with colleagues from work and spreading his manipulation to great lengths to try and discredit me as a person. I have over heard men chatting about me, obviously his version of events. I have taken these people aside and told them that they are not above the law and that they will only ever get to hear one side of the story because to point it plainly it is none of their business. I told them that it must stop there.

    Occupational health sent me to see a counsellor to help me with the stress of what has been occurring in the work place and I had a meeting with one last Friday. You wont believe what I am about to tell you but then again we are all to familiar with the manipulation of a true N. It turned out that the counsellor is a friend of N. Yes, can you imagine the look on my face when he told me that he knew why I was there and that he is friends with him. I almost fell of my seat and was greatly upset that I had been put in this position. However, I think I handled it as well as can be. Cutting a long story short, I went back to Occupational Health and voiced that I believe this Counsellor has acted unprofessional since he knew who I was before I arrived and should have known that this situation would be a conflict of interest. I also told them that I wanted to make them aware but didn’t want them to say anything because I know that is what the N wants and expected me to do. What I did do though is this. I applied for a Non-Molestation order which was granted by a judge. Along with a whole lot of obviously restrictions he is not allowed to Instruct or encourage any other person to do anything which he is forbidden to do by the terms of the Order. I am now just waiting for this Order to be served on him, which will hopefully be done today.

    I have now taken the final step to safe guarding myself and my children and have to say I feel as though I have taken my power back.

    I cannot see how he can come back to work and once I show my employers the order they will be in a difficult position because they risk making me unemployed by constructive dismissal.

    I began my new job 2 weeks ago 🙂 and it is a breath of fresh air. My new colleagues are real team players who respect one another.

    I urge anyone who is dealing with a N man or woman to act. Don’t sit on the fence feeling helpless. Do something, take the first step and with each step you will become stronger and take the power back from which they stole from you.

    There will always be people who judge because they don’t see the manipulation that a N is capable of doing. Pitty these people because whilst you have the knowledge you are safe. Unfortunately for them they do not and are at risk.

    Until next time I hope you are all taking steps…

    Best wishes



    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      Loujean, thank you for the update! I am not the least bit upset about being taken off of your Linkedin, I totally understand. I never use my Linkedin anyway, I have too much on the go, I just saw that you got your new job and wanted to acknowledge it. I was hesitant to even comment.
      I am sorry he is still spewing his venom but not surprised, but you have handled it with class and courage, I am proud of you; you have set an awesome example! Good for you not giving up and taking every step to protect yourself. I have never heard of a Non-Molestation Order, I wonder if they have them in Canada. What exactly does it order him to do? is it a gag order? Good for you!! and you have given so much information to others who might be going through something similar.
      Your new life has begun and you can leave him in the dust knowing you stood up for yourself and a year of community service is no small penalty, not that it will make a difference to him but at least he was found guilty and you were validated.
      I am so proud of your strength!
      ^5 Loujean!



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