I haven’t been posting much lately, mostly because I have been so busy, it seems I am lucky if I can respond to comments and reply to emails. What with looking for work and trying to get by on $610 a month, throw the family in there and …..well …. the days just fly by.
I finished the course I was taking, it wasn’t really the type of course where you get a grade, if you attended you passed but it was very interesting and confirmed what I already knew about myself. I had to laugh one day in class the teacher was saying how we were going to do a Meyers Briggs type personality test and the “Colours” personality test the next day and I piped up that I was an INFJ, and he said, “You know that? and you remember what you are?” I said yeah, I have the results right here and showed him the copy of the test I had done at home. He laughed and said, “Get out!”
He went on, “Who but a INFJ/Blue would do a personality test BEFORE they attend a life skills class?”
So it was no surprise when at the end of the class I was told that the careers I am best suited for is counselor, teacher, activist, that sort of thing.
Two of the teachers checked out my web site and thought it could be enough to get me a job working with victims of abuse but they are still trying to get me into a year of full time study in university. They feel I have a good chance at getting it seeing as I not only have my heart condition I have a really bad neck that limits what I can do. My neck condition comes from a car accident years ago, I was T-boned by a big 4×4 going about 100 km/hr. I didn’t think I suffered anything more than a stiff neck because I was heavy into weight training at the time and the muscles held my neck in place. Years later after I had stopped lifting weights my neck went out and my whole left side atrophied and I lost all feeling in my left hand and had excruciating pain in my left arm. When they finally x-rayed I was told I was lucky to not be in a wheel chair. Any kind of repetitious work such as data entry, answering phones, many landscaping duties aggravate my neck to the point I can’t deal with the pain. It is at the top of my spine and they are very hesitant to operate because any slip and I am paralyzed from the neck down. I was told that I should never have anyone adjust my neck because they could put me in a wheel chair.
While I was hauling scrap I was able to lift really heavy but that did not involve my neck. While I worked in offices I suffered badly and every morning I wasn’t able to even hold a coffee cup because my hand would be numb. Landscaping would throw me into such agony I wouldn’t be able to sleep and my whole arm and hand would throb. I can no longer do heavy lifting like I did because of my heart.
It doesn’t leave a lot of careers to choose from. It is depressing because I have always worked, even if it caused me pain I worked anyway which only caused more damage that I am paying for now.
Once again I am looking at jobs I shouldn’t be doing just because I can’t handle living on welfare, it is degrading and quite honestly impossible to live on $610 a month.
Our welfare system is so terribly flawed, it is not a surprise that women stay with abusive men, once the man makes them dependent on him the only option many have is to go on welfare and it is not designed to empower people to become self sufficient, it is designed to keep people down. It doesn’t pay you enough to live, not even enough to survive and doesn’t encourage people to find work, in fact it makes it all but impossible to look for work. If not for the charities I don’t know what the impoverished would do, but then the government takes into account that the charities are providing food hampers and will tell you right off the bat that you are expected to go to the food banks for your food, so they calculate that when they are deciding how much a person needs to live. I have applied for disability benefits which would entitle me to a fair amount more, I think I would be getting close to $1000 a month and be allowed to make an additional $800 a month before anything was deducted from my cheque, that would be a meager but livable amount. I have been told it could be up to 6 months before I find out if I quality or not. Until then I get what every other single person on welfare gets, $610. Even though I am supposed to be on a low sodium diet and need to eat a lot of fresh veg and fruit there is no extra. I am only allowed to make $200 a month before they take dollar for dollar off my benefit cheque. No one can live on that but if you get help from family or whoever, you are supposed to tell them so they can deduct it from your monthly cheque. It is insane! and believe me people lie!
I paid into Canada Pension Plan since 1975 until 1996 and then sporadically from 1996-2014 but I do not qualify for Canada Pension Disability Pension because you have to have contributed for the previous 5 years or something like that.
My car insurance is due tomorrow and I have to pay an old speeding ticket before I can insure my car, which is $220. (there was some back insurance I owed too) I had to Air Care my car which was $25, and then there is $53 in licensing fee and another $30 for document fees, add in my insurance which is almost $1000 for the year, and (that is with a 45% discount for not having an accident in 30 years). I can pay monthly but still have to come up with about $400 and don’t have it.
I have been scraping pennies together from every where and could sell the wind chimes for $50. I have only sold 3 tickets for the chimes so far so I think I am going to have to refund those people their money and sell the chimes in order to pay my car insurance. The shipping on the last item was over $60 so in order to make any money off of the chimes I would have to sell an awful lot of tickets. So thank you to those who bought tickets but I will be refunding your money.
I have sold two big cement planters that I have out front of my place for $20 each so between the $35 for the chimes and $40 for the planters I am hoping I have enough.
On the lighter side of things, I enjoyed a nice afternoon with my mom and cousin last week and last night I cooked supper for my son who came for dinner. He brought Stella’s momma with him of course and Stella is as big as her mom already!! It was so cute to see them playing, I took them both for a walk without a leash and they were awesome girls. It was great to have some alone time with my son, it has been awhile since we could just visit the two of us. I love him so much.
Living at the lake puts me in a constant state of awe. My son could appreciate the serenity and natural spectacle surrounding us. We were sitting talking and a Heron swooped down and scooped a fish from the water right in front of my cabin, then a bit later a mommy Mallard duck swam past with her baby goslings in tow. The wide variety of frogs started their grumbling and croaking like an orchestra tuning their instruments before a performance; there is the big toads that have a baritone singular croak, and the regular frogs that croak and then others that make a sound like a juice harp, a twanging sound, when they all get going at the same time it is quite a performance. and that was on a rainy day!
My neighbor ran over this morning with a slip of paper with a number on it from the fellow who taught her when she took her courses to be a social worker and he told her that I could take the course and pay whenever I have the money which was absolutely amazing of him and the course starts tomorrow night. As long as I can get my car insured and pay for the gas to get there. Always hanging by my finger nails but things work out somehow and I am sure they will again.
The only other thorn in my side is, James, every once in a while I Google Ladywithatruck just to see what comes up, if someone reblogs a post of mine or makes reference to me it will show up and seeing as the school suggested I use my blog on my resume I thought I should see what exactly comes up. Well, wouldn’t you know that James has a blog where in the first sentence he mentions my name and ladywithatruck. I have notified Word Press and requested they have him remove my name and blog name but have not heard back and I really doubt they will do anything about it because they don’t get involved unless there is a court order. The police will not get involved, it is a civil matter and I would have to take James to court and sue him for libel, which I would have grounds to do but that costs money too. I don’t care what he says, he can lie all he likes it only proves he is what I say he is but I don’t know why I have been careful to not reveal his identity when he doesn’t give a shit about my reputation. Welfare had wanted to go after him for spousal support but I had asked them not to, if he is going to be so obvious in his attempts to keep me from getting gainfully employed I think I will tell them to go for it.
That is the news from my corner of the world.
I hope everyone had a safe and fun July 1st and 4th and I ask all of you to say a prayer for the 5 year old little boy and his grandparents who have disappeared, I pray that by some miracle they are found alive.
This guy they are investigating sounds like a psychopath, highly intelligent, stole someone identity and evaded police for years.