So true! Life with James was one crisis after another. I waited, always waiting, for everything, He invited people for supper and is a no show, we are going to his family for Christmas, we don’t make it, he tells me he’ll fix my truck this weekend, I wait 2 months. When we got back together the last time I thought I had him figured out and could anticipate the things that would set him off and defuse the situation before the chaos hit, Hah!! silly girl! I am reminded of a video that went viral not that long ago about a woman who is having a melt down because she wants to go to the lake with friends and her husband has changed plans because he has “important thing to do” and her husband is taping it and laughing at her. I got physically ill watching it. I knew what she was feeling. Someone who doesn’t know what it is like would think she is being childish and over reacting and that is what the N counts on. But when you have been there it is enough to drive you over the edge, it is cruelty and evil and control by every definition of the word.
It’s Narcissist Friday!
“You never know what’s coming next.”
The one who controls the chaos, controls the world.
If you are a fan of the old “Get Smart” television show, you will remember that the two organizations were named “CONTROL” and “KAOS.” Back in the cold war days, Americans were taught that our side was good and the other side was evil. The subtle message in Get Smart was that control was good, while chaos was evil.
But I think chaos is a tool for those who want control. The more chaos a person experiences, the more he/she wants order. Order requires control.
In many narcissistic relationships, chaos reigns. You really don’t know what’s coming next. Sometimes we chalk that up to the fact that we don’t think like the narcissist so it is hard to predict individual choices and actions. But sometimes chaos itself is the means of control.
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