I came across these “cartoons” today, check out the story here.
There seems to be such an effort being made by so many to raise awareness of domestic abuse and dispel myths etc, more victims speaking out, police taking the responsibility to lay charges when the woman refuses, shelters, fund raisers, even welfare in BC puts a woman on fast track if she has left an abusive relationship, yet more women are dying. Why is that? Less reports of abuse and more deaths. That is not the result expected nor wanted. In BC the cases of domestic homicide are being called epidemic.
Just recently in Houston I believe, a guy went to the home of his ex dressed as a Fed Ex courier and held the kids at gun point until the parents got home and he shot and killed all 6 of them, 4 14, 7, 9, and one 15 year old girl, also one of his children, although critically injured managed to call 911 and inform the police that the guy was heading to her grandparents to kill them next and they were able to intercept him before he got there. The police said he was “cool as a cucumber” when he was apprehended.
Not long ago in my town a man beat his ex wife and stole the baby, in Langley the ex broke into the house in the middle of the night, set it on fire and tried to kill his ex wife, the daughter woke up went in to tell her mom the house was on fire and walked in to see her father trying to kill ehjr mom. She got injured trying to save her mom and by some miracle the mom, daughter and a little boy managed to get away to safety. Every week there is another domestic abuse near miss or death. Why? Is it because people are speaking out? Do the women feel supported in leaving and then not protected enough? Would these women have lived had they not left their abuser? Are we encouraging women to leave abusive relationships and then not giving them the protection and attention they need to stay safe? Do these women have a safety plan? I doubt it,
Unfortunately fairy tale romances are just that, fairy tales; but I don’t think people are really “getting” it, there is a disconnect, people can not seem to accept that abusive men are dangerous, that a woman is NOT over reacting when she says she fears for her life, I am not being melodramatic when I tell women to formulate a safety plan. I have a feeling that society has become aware enough about abuse to advise women to leave, the police are trained to make arrests even if the woman won’t press charges, we as a society are getting better at saying, “No one deserves to be hit” and telling women to leave and I suppose there are more resources for women leaving an abusive relationship. But are the women being educated on what they are actually dealing with? Do they really know the danger they are in? I seriously doubt it.
So many women leave and are expected to find a job, get over it, move on, just forget it ever happened and feel that if a couple of weeks have gone by and they are still crying there is something wrong with them. We give zero time for them to heal. They have just had their self worth tromped on, they are physically, emotionally, financially, and mentally destroyed and what help do they get? If they don’t have family and happen to have kids the problem is 10 times worse.
I believe victims of abuse need to be educated on narcissists and the danger they are in. I think all victims of abuse should be given financial support long enough that they can recover and get strong before they have to deal with looking for work on top of everything. I think the victim needs an advocate who will fight for her cause and demand that she be heard and that a parent that beats and abuses a woman should not be given unsupervised visitation with the children, ever.
All abuse victims should be given a security system for their home and taught self defense and all the children should be given training in staying safe. One of those children opened the door to the man who once was their dad and the 15 year old tried to close it on him but he over powered her. That 15 year old is a hero, the poor thing, clinging to life and her whole family slaughtered in front of her eyes. My heart breaks for her. It is a shame we can’t trust a parent to not harm his children and that children should have to deal with fearing that their parent might kill them, but it is a fact of life these days and personally I would like to see the children alive.
Fairy tales are fun stories, but that is all they are, a story, make believe, the truth is very ugly.
I can’t get the thought of those poor children being held waiting for their mom and step dad to get home knowing they were all going to die.
They say things get worse before they get better, I hope this is a sign that we are on the verge of ending domestic violence and we’ve got the abusers running scared and have to ramp up the forces and stay strong. Not back down, take responsibility for our own safety and ensure the safety of our children.