Strange Thoughts That Lurk In My Head – Like Ticks and Narcissists

I think a lot.  Whenever I would say, “I’ve been thinking.” My kid used to say, “Oh no!”

I do most of my thinking when I am gardening or driving and yesterday I was driving and thinking, multi tasking and I remembered when I was little my cousin and I used to play at my grandma’s. My grandma lived on a dead end street with 2 other houses and the land surrounding those three little houses was all trees, I don’t know what kind of trees, but they weren’t terribly big and were bendable. My cousin and I would spend hours upon hours out in the trees making forts and using our imaginations.

What a novel idea, I bet most kids today have never played for hours in a grove of trees using their imagination. For one thing there aren’t many residential areas where all the trees haven’t been ripped out and for another thing no parent would leave two little girls playing in a forest alone all day with out a parent right there. But those were the days when kids were relatively safe to play outside. My grandma would get us in our coats and give us the same warning every time.

“Do not talk to strangers and watch out for ticks.”

and my cousin and I would promise we would and off we would go until dark.

warning ticks

Once we were out of earshot we invariably discussed the same topic, what the hell did a tick look like and where were they hiding? We knew what a stranger looked like, well we knew he didn’t look like someone we knew so that was pretty easy. But the tick thing had us stumped but we didn’t want to tell grandma because if we didn’t know what a tick looked like she might not let us play outside.

I wasn’t even sure why we had to be afraid of ticks. I had no idea how big they were, I had seen a June bug

june bug

and they were huge and scared me so I stayed away from them all on my own, no one had to warn me about them. So if no one was warning us about those big scary looking things then what must a tick look like???!!!

I was thinking about how my cousin and I never did see a tick, or if we did we didn’t know it was a tick, and made it through many hours in that forest and other forests, I have made it all the way to 56 without ever having an encounter with a tick.

My grandma died a while ago now but if she were alive and I am sure she would say that it was her wise words of warning that saved us from the infamous “tick”.

This is the size of a tick. Hardly intimidating to look at. Much like a narcissist.

This is the size of a tick. Hardly intimidating to look at. Much like a narcissist.

As I was thinking about ticks I realized a narcissist is like a tick. It makes little sense to warn young people as they go out into the world, “Don’t talk to strangers and look out for narcissists.” They will do like my cousin and I did, get out of ear shot and look at each other and go,”What the hell is a narcissist?” and then shrug and go on their merry way. They might be lucky and get to be a ripe old age of 56 and never run into one.

I have heard ticks are much like narcissists, They are hard to see and you don’t even know you have met one until they are under your skin and then extracting them is no easy task. You have to be very careful or they will leave part of their body embedded in your skin, and like a narcissist; they can make you really sick and even kill you if not handled just the right way.  I have heard you have to put a flame under their butt to get them to crawl out from under your skin. Much like a narcissist who will embed himself in your life and refuse to leave, you often have to light a fire under his butt to get him to move on. They are both parasites that live off of a host victim. They are elusive and hard to detect but they are tricky and stealth and quickly attach themselves so firmly you can’t shake them off and it is almost too late when someone says, “Hey, I think you have a tick (narcissist) sucking the life out of you” . and you go, “No! where? I didn’t even see him, where did he come from?? Now what do I do??”

So the morale to this story is;

Don’t send your kids out into the world without educating them about narcissists so they know what to look for and what to do if they end up with one embedded under their skin. To just say “look out for narcissists.” won’t help them.

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12 thoughts on “Strange Thoughts That Lurk In My Head – Like Ticks and Narcissists

    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      Safirefalcon, thanks, my grandma and my granny (her mom) were full of sage advice. They were from Wales and my granny had a ton of old wives tales. God help you if you ever got a cold over at her place! She sweat the cold out of ya. wool sock around your throat and Vicks vapor rub under your nose, on the bottom of your feet, your chest and then tuck you into bed with the blankets tucked under the mattress so you couldn’t move. She was so funny. A tiny little thing probably 4’8′ and always wore several layers of clothes. Loved Tom Jones, had a sherry every night, raised 12 kids on her own, quick as whip til she died at almost 100. Little ball of fire.

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      1. safirefalcon

        I found it ironic that your grandma didn’t even really know what she was telling you all these years later. After reading your comment last night I remembered how our dog (my childhood dog) would always get ticks when he was older. I was maybe 12-13 and I’d take him outside to get the ones I found off of him with a pair of tweezers and burn them with matches. I don’t know why he had so many ticks either. He didn’t go out on hikes in the woods and we lived in a suburb. He only went out when we walked him and our house wasn’t infested wit them. So I found myself ruminating a little on that last night.

        Anyway, sorry, my mind goes off on its own personal associations, lol.

        I love the way your granny tended to those she loved when they got sick. My mom was pretty good at caring for us when we were sick but the Vick’s only made it to our chests. haha.
        And some of those wives tales you refer to may have been true. I know some things people believed not so much but others, yeah. Those were the days of using herbs and natural remedies via the wild plants from one’s own back yard or even some from what they planted too.

        12 kids is a lot. But I guess in ‘her day’ it was probably pretty normal yes? My aunt (by marriage only though) came from a family of 11 or 12 too and one of her sister’s also had 11 kids. My maternal grandmom wanted to have a slew of kids and miscarried a bunch between my mom and her brother. However she was also married to a cheater so I’m sure the stress may have contributed. I’m not clear on whether he was a narcissist or not but from what I know about him (which isn’t much) I wouldn’t be surprised. Thing I’m wondering about though is can someone be unfaithful without remorse and not be a narc? Seriously.

        I don’t think he felt remorse and did end up leaving my grandmother. And from what my mom told me she was devastated. And again from what my mom told me she didn’t have much sympathy for my grandmother because she couldn’t stand him.

        As a kid I only saw him I think twice and when he got sick my mom refused to go to him.

        Geez. Sorry. It’s unreal what a post and a comment can bring to mind.

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        1. Carrie Reimer Post author

          Safirefalcon, LOL your mind works like mine, one thing leads to another thought which leads to another and off I go!! My mind is always rolling, it is amazing where it goes sometimes, associations it makes.
          For example, you talking about your grandmother and her husband. I remember one afternoon in her kitchen, I was in my early teens, just starting to be interested in boys. She was standing at her old coal oil stove cooking (she was always cooking like she still had 12 kids to feed) she had her hose rolled down to her mid calf, which you could barely see because she had on a long cotton house dress, I think two dresses to be exact and a big cardigan that came down past her butt. I always remember my granny dressed in layers, she was a waif of a thing. The knuckles of her hands knarly, she had been a beautiful woman when she was young and had peaches and cream complexion and now she was wrinkled but you could tell she had been a beauty. She always did her hair in pin curls and pinned up in a bun, always had an apron on and slippers that looked 5 sizes too big. Anyway she was making tea and she looked at me and said, “Don’t ever marry an Englishman.” I said, “Ok Granny…..why?”
          She said, “Trust me sweetie, you don’t want to be with an Englishman. All they want is sex. SEx sex sex. all the time sex! look at me! 12 kids. sex sex sex. never worked, all he thought about was sex.” I stifled a laugh and promised I would never marry an Englishman. LOL But I guess her husband was a lazy ass who never worked. Granny raised the kids, worked full time and bought the house, she lived in that house until she broke her hip changing a light bulb and then got pneumonia. Had a full garden planted every year, my uncle was a fisherman and brought her salmon and she would can dozens of jars of salmon every year and baked her own bread until the day she had to move. There was nothing as good as a fresh salmon sandwich on homemade white bread and a piece of her homemade pie, tea with a ton of sugar and milk. She had a “cold room” a bedroom that was always cold and it was full of pies. She still baked like she had 12 kids so some of those pies were God only knows how old. My mom would always make me wait to eat my pie until she checked to make sure there were no bugs crawling around or mold on it. LOL
          I was her first great grandchild. She had grand kids always come by and she always had money to give them, always fed them. She used to crochet beautiful doilies every year everyone got doilies at christmas. She sat in her old wood rocker and crocheted every night.
          Coloured bathroom fixtures came in style and she really wanted to get a new tub etc in designer colours but couldn’t afford it so she bought purple paint and painted her toilet, sink and tub purple, well in fact she painted the whole bathroom purple!! rotflmao!! The first time we went for a visit afterward my mom went to the bathroom and we heard from the bathroom, “Granny!!! what did you do????” it was mind blowing!! Everything purple!! and she was so proud. LOL of course the toilet was only purple as far as the water line. and if I stayed overnight and had a bath the paint peeled off and you ended up with pieces of purple paint clinging to you.
          everyone loved granny. The whole family teased her when she had a full hysterectomy at 75 years old because now she didn’t have to worry about getting pregnant, that would send her into a tirade about Englishmen. LOL

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  1. O.

    Eeek! Carrie! I thought it was only ‘fleas’ from the narcissist that I needed to worry about, but now I have to add ticks to my fears! LOL. But seriously, many years ago I did have a real tick attach itself to me after going hiking in a woodland area. I found it after I awoke with an awful ache and a terrible burning sensation on my leg, then when I looked & saw the bloated pest feeding on my leg I screamed. One of my housemates knew how to remove it, but even after burning it out, it ached and itched for a long time afterwards! (rather similar to a parasitic N!)

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    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      O. they can give a person Lyme disease, which is supposed to be horribly debilitating too. They look innocent enough, just like a narcissist but once they are under your skin look out!! Too bad we can’t wear a flea and tick collar to ward them off; they treat us like dogs and call us bitches. Is that enough analogies?? Lol

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  2. Army of Angels

    We have tick infested areas here-before I knew about ticks and narcissists, I was infected by both! Removing ticks-I have used isopropyl alcohol or bleach to suffocate them before removing. As for the narcissist, I suppose going “no contact” is the same as using alcohol or bleach….but truly, using repellant to begin with, saved us from a lot of pain…

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