I think a lot. Whenever I would say, “I’ve been thinking.” My kid used to say, “Oh no!”
I do most of my thinking when I am gardening or driving and yesterday I was driving and thinking, multi tasking and I remembered when I was little my cousin and I used to play at my grandma’s. My grandma lived on a dead end street with 2 other houses and the land surrounding those three little houses was all trees, I don’t know what kind of trees, but they weren’t terribly big and were bendable. My cousin and I would spend hours upon hours out in the trees making forts and using our imaginations.
What a novel idea, I bet most kids today have never played for hours in a grove of trees using their imagination. For one thing there aren’t many residential areas where all the trees haven’t been ripped out and for another thing no parent would leave two little girls playing in a forest alone all day with out a parent right there. But those were the days when kids were relatively safe to play outside. My grandma would get us in our coats and give us the same warning every time.
“Do not talk to strangers and watch out for ticks.”
and my cousin and I would promise we would and off we would go until dark.
Once we were out of earshot we invariably discussed the same topic, what the hell did a tick look like and where were they hiding? We knew what a stranger looked like, well we knew he didn’t look like someone we knew so that was pretty easy. But the tick thing had us stumped but we didn’t want to tell grandma because if we didn’t know what a tick looked like she might not let us play outside.
I wasn’t even sure why we had to be afraid of ticks. I had no idea how big they were, I had seen a June bug
and they were huge and scared me so I stayed away from them all on my own, no one had to warn me about them. So if no one was warning us about those big scary looking things then what must a tick look like???!!!
I was thinking about how my cousin and I never did see a tick, or if we did we didn’t know it was a tick, and made it through many hours in that forest and other forests, I have made it all the way to 56 without ever having an encounter with a tick.
My grandma died a while ago now but if she were alive and I am sure she would say that it was her wise words of warning that saved us from the infamous “tick”.
As I was thinking about ticks I realized a narcissist is like a tick. It makes little sense to warn young people as they go out into the world, “Don’t talk to strangers and look out for narcissists.” They will do like my cousin and I did, get out of ear shot and look at each other and go,”What the hell is a narcissist?” and then shrug and go on their merry way. They might be lucky and get to be a ripe old age of 56 and never run into one.
I have heard ticks are much like narcissists, They are hard to see and you don’t even know you have met one until they are under your skin and then extracting them is no easy task. You have to be very careful or they will leave part of their body embedded in your skin, and like a narcissist; they can make you really sick and even kill you if not handled just the right way. I have heard you have to put a flame under their butt to get them to crawl out from under your skin. Much like a narcissist who will embed himself in your life and refuse to leave, you often have to light a fire under his butt to get him to move on. They are both parasites that live off of a host victim. They are elusive and hard to detect but they are tricky and stealth and quickly attach themselves so firmly you can’t shake them off and it is almost too late when someone says, “Hey, I think you have a tick (narcissist) sucking the life out of you” . and you go, “No! where? I didn’t even see him, where did he come from?? Now what do I do??”
So the morale to this story is;
Don’t send your kids out into the world without educating them about narcissists so they know what to look for and what to do if they end up with one embedded under their skin. To just say “look out for narcissists.” won’t help them.