Why I Stay

wow!! I read this with tears streaming down my cheeks. So powerful and true. Although I never had children with my ex I felt the same indecision and self doubt. Unfortunately I didn’t get stronger and the friends faded away. Thank you Kim. Excellent post.

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

Sad-Woman-520x346

Submitted by ~ Anonymous~

I dream of the day when the chains are released
When I’ll say with pride, “I’m free from the beast.”
The mind games are over, no longer ignored.
With my head held high, I’ll walk toward the door.

I want it; I need it. I see it so clearly.
But then he strikes again, and it’s suddenly bleary.
He twists and turns things- am I losing my mind?
Did I imagine that slight? Am I stupid or blind?

I am filled with self-loathing, fear and doubt.
I want a better life; I want to get out.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been on my own.
And as hard as this is, it’s all I’ve known.

You get angry with me; you think it’s so easy.
“Just leave him already!” you say feeling queasy.
And “I wouldn’t take that,” you quietly think.
But it shows…

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2 thoughts on “Why I Stay

  1. There are always going to be what we think are very GOOD reasons to stay, unfortunately, in our mind 😦 The kids are one, “but I love him” is the other one. Another very powerful one is FEAR. Fear of so many things that you are afraid to count them. Fear of making it on your own fear of being alone, fear of not being able to say you have a partner ( even the shitty one you have ) fear that people will find out and think less of you and your children. The list goes on and on.

    I am a survivor of domestic abuse. I can tell you every single one of the things that you fear are very real. It will be hard to make it one your own. But you CAN do it. You will not have him for a partner ( he really has NOT been a partner for a very long time, if ever, has he? ) and people will more than likely talk, that is what they do. LET them. Everyone of your fears will be realized and can be over come. You will survive! Your life will be more peaceful and your children safer. Do it for your children. They need YOU to be whole, clear thinking and brave so you can help them handle their crisises as THEY appear in their lives as childrens crisises do.

    If you can’t leave for you please leave for your children.

    Liked by 1 person

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