I was sent the link to a site today and was so impressed with their description of a narcissist I put the link in the sidebar of my blog, but here it is again; Anonymous Conservative.
It is the only other site I have read that told the same kinds of stories as what I experienced and thought I had to be crazy to suspect my ex of doing things he did, because, “Who would do that kind of shit?!” The infidelity, watching copious amounts of porn, the pathological lying, gas lighting, ….. they are all pretty common and the other forms of abuse, the financially destroying someone, verbal insults and cut downs, the mental abuse and the physical abuse often is horrendous. But there is another level to them that I think some victims miss just because they don’t believe what they are seeing and dismiss it as coincidence, or paranoia.
I was remembering how I started to suspect my ex was not as honest as he pretended after I had the 3rd car stolen in the first 3 years I was with my ex. I had never had a car stolen, never even knew anyone who had a car stolen and then boom, I am with him and 3 in 3 years? In between my vehicles being stolen they would break down and never run again. He was a brilliant mechanic, could fix anything except MY vehicles. For some reason mine only ran when he was driving them. The last two thirds of the relationship I never knew when I got in my vehicle if it would get me where I wanted to go, something was ALWAYS wrong with my car. I had never had such bad luck with vehicles, ever. My God I had cars for years and never did anything more than basic maintenance and now I was with a mechanic and I never had a running vehicle. It has to make a person go Hmmmm?
I had really gotten suspicious about my vehicles breaking down, it was pretty hard to deny when every single time I had some place I really wanted to go, my vehicle would either not start at all or break down 1/2 way there. My son’s wedding, I had done all the flowers for the wedding, been up most of the night so they would be fresh and I was rushing to get to the church to decorate and I ran out the door and there were tools beside my truck and my heart sunk. I made it almost to the church, in down town Vancouver, and it started to sputter and cough, bunny hopping through the intersection. I stopped, popped the hood and left it right in the middle of the road. I ran the 6 blocks to the church and my son was out on the sidewalk looking so handsome and nervous. I came running up like a made woman, I had my dress over my arm (I wore jeans in case the truck broke down) , my hair was flying wildly and I must have been a site because the look on my son’s face was akin to terror.
Two of the best men were able to decipher my out of wind, panicked, explanation of where my truck, and consequently the flowers; was and went to go get it. They managed to get it limped to the church and I got the decorations up.
That was hard enough to believe he would purposely do something in hopes of making me miss my son’s wedding, but 8 years later I witnessed him purposely make his sister miss her daughters wedding so I have no doubts any more of what he is capable of. That will teach her to take my side when he pulled his shit in front of her.
But the stealing of vehicles, I mean that is breaking the law. hahaha talk about naive and well, just plain stupid; we had his truck insured in my name because he had so many tickets and accidents that his rates were through the roof. He had a 43% surcharge on his insurance and I had a 43% discount. You do the math. So anyway, I of my own doing signed a blank transfer and tax form in case something ever happened to me, he could easily sign the truck back over to his name, I also did it as a gesture of good faith so that he didn’t have to worry I would ever take his truck if we split or something.
When he came to me and said he had lost it and could I sign another one, I did and when I went out to get the VIN number to put on the form he said, “Oh just sign it, I’ll fill it all in for you.” I didn’t think twice about it. When he lost it two more times I started to get annoyed, he was so careless. When I ran into a friend who said he was on the way to the bank to get money out because he was buying a truck off of my ex for $1000 I was thrilled because i was still so in love with my ex I loved any chance I got to discuss him. I asked what truck he was buying, the blue Ford or the brown Ford and he said neither, he was buying the cute little Chevy pickup. I said he doesn’t have a Chevy pickup for sale. He argued with me and I said, “No he only has two truck and they are both Fords.”
He said he had seen those but this one was parked in the back and was yellow.
Me:”Yellow?!, that’s MY truck, it isn’t for sale.”
Friend: “He did up the transfer and tax form and everything.”
ding ding ding****** bells and whistles going off. Needless to say the friend did not buy the truck. I was furious and told my ex exactly what i thought of his little plan, he was NOT selling my truck. So instead of selling it he made it so it never ran right again.
Years later, we are split, I have my Ford F550, I am sick on the couch with a horrible head ache because my neck is out, he calls to see if he can have a shower and do some laundry at my place. I tell him I am in horrible pain, I don’t want to have to get off the couch so he can come and do laundry but don’t knock, just walk in. Well, he arrives and knocks on the door. (he used to always knock as if to give the impression he would never think of entering my house without knocking but I knew damn well he had been in my house without me there, it was stupid). Anyway, I get up and go to the door and there he is with a bouquet of roses, a mickey of Rye and Extra Strength Tylenol, heating rub and a heating pad. He is so grateful I am letting him do laundry, and is so sympathetic and I am in so much pain. I am totally shocked he is being so nice and loving.
He tells me to take 5 Tylenol, have a drink of Rye and then go lay down with the heating pad and he will come and rub my neck. I didn’t take 5 tylenol because I don’t need much I never take anything for pain so two will do me but i took 3 and he forced the Rye on me so I had a sip to appease him, put the roses in a vase, asked him to please not eat any of my son’s favorite cookies, he could eat anything else, just not those cookies. I had been Christmas baking so there was a ton of stuff around but my son had these favorite cookies that were a pain in the ass to make and I was shipping him some with his gifts.
I laid down, he rubbed my neck and I passed out. I woke up with a start hours later and go out to the kitchen and couldn’t believe my eyes, almost all my son’s cookies were gone and none of the other baking was touched, and piled up all over the kitchen was my stuff. All my accounting and Bus Management books, all my expensive letter paper, envelopes, dishes, my good pots, all my office supplies, well pretty well anything of value, plus part off my computer, which had been running up until he stripped it for parts. i was furious and went outside to give him shit for eating the cookies and he has the hood of my truck up. Right away my stomach is turning. I look inside the truck and he has emptied my glove box and the contents are strewn throughout the cab. I asked him what he was looking for in my glove box and he said he was cleaning my truck. (Narcspeak, I was cleaning out your truck of anything valuable). Then he says, “Hey where is your registration for the truck?”
Me: “Why do you ask?”
Him:”You know its illegal to drive without a reggie in the truck?”
Me:” I know, I always have it with me when I drive.”
Him: “Where is it?”
Him: “You should keep it in the glove box so you always have it.”
Me: “Do you really think I am that stupid after having 3 vehicles stolen?”
Him:”I am only concerned you might get a ticket.”
Me:”Thanks but I have it covered. Besides why were you looking for my reggie.”
Him: “I needed to know what year it was built because I was going to fix (I forget what now) for you as a surprise.”
Me:”Why would you need a reggie for that, you know it is a 1999.”
Him: “they had two production dates in 1999.”
Me:”Yep they did and all vehicles have a sticker in the driver’s door that give you all the info on the vehicle.” (Every single mechanic knows that)
I no sooner walk in the house and I hear my truck start. I go running back out as he is backing down the driveway and I lost it, I screamed for him to bring my fucking truck back NOW!!
He looks all surprised and like I am some psycho for suspecting him of anything and tells me he was just going to go and buy the parts he needed. I told him to take his own fucking truck. My heart was racing and I was pissed. I demanded he pull my truck back into the driveway, took the keys from him and went back in the house. On the way I yelled over my shoulder that if he thought he was taking all the shit he had piled up he was sadly mistaken and I turned around and said: “And, just so you know, if anything happens to me, my dog or my truck, you will be the first person they come looking for, you have been warned.”
he never said a word. Not for years. and then the last year we were together he said, “And you accused me of stealing your vehicles” Like it was a sin to accuse him and he was so innocent. I replied, “Yep I did, and I also told you that if anything happens to my dog, my truck or me you will be the first and only person on the list of suspects,”
I don’t think he would have stolen it that day. i think he was on his way to get a key cut. He was supposed to be heading to Africa and he would get someone else to steal it and split the money with them. I bet he still had a signed transfer and tax form but even if he didn’t I had already found pieces of paper where he had been practicing my signature. That was in 2006. He never did get my truck but he made damn sure it never ran right, it took him until 2010, that is how vindictive and vengeful they are. Because I would not let him just take my truck he had to destroy it at any cost to him. He was so intent on getting my truck he ended up spending thousands in the attempt. But he made up for it with M, he recouped his losses with her and got another truck an F450 haha.
Sick son of a bitch! So don’t doubt your gut, if you are having a string of bad luck, start to feel sick all the time, seem to be accident prone, your stuff starts mysteriously breaking or disappearing; look no further than the person in your bed.