Exactly Why No Contact Is So Important

I am reminded of that Clint Eastwood in the movie Dirty Harry, when he chases down the bad guy and has his gun pointed at the guy and says, “Do you feel lucky?”  Because that is what you are counting on when you allow the narcissist back into your life after you leave him or he leaves you. Do you feel lucky. I was reading an article today where the victim of abuse was very lucky, but not because her ex turned out to be a sweetheart; because she happened to get one of those annoying telemarketer calls at just the right time. The story is below. I changed the ink to red on the parts I want you to take particular note of.

LEBANON, Ore. – A lucky sales call from a Las Vegas, Nevada, company led deputies to rescue a 33-year-old Oregon woman who was being beaten and strangled, a sheriff says.

Linn County Sheriff Bruce Riley said the Lebanon, Oregon, victim didn’t intentionally answer her phone, the Albany Democrat-Herald reported. It was in her pocket and somehow picked up the sales call Wednesday during the attack.

The concerned saleswoman turned to her boss at Americare Health, who tracked down the woman’s address from previous sales and contacted Oregon law enforcement officers.

Deputies arrived and arrested the woman’s ex-boyfriend. They say the man let her go when they arrived and she ran out the front door.

“At the very least it was lucky,” Riley said. “At the most it might have been providence.”

On Thursday, Walter Warren Ruck, 33, of Lebanon, was charged in Circuit Court with fourth-degree assault and strangulation, both misdemeanours. He’s due back in court Feb. 17.

The saleswoman was doing follow-up with the customer and told Americare Health president and CEO Mario Gonzalez that she had a concerning call, the newspaper reported.

“She said she heard the lady being beaten,” Gonzalez said. “I jumped on the phone. I could hear the lady screaming and getting hit over and over again, her screaming and begging for her life.”

His call to Lebanon city police was transferred to the sheriff’s office since the address was outside city limits.

Gonzalez said he continued to listen to the assault until deputies arrived.

Deputies knocked repeatedly and could hear a woman calling for help and a male voice telling her to be quiet, Riley said.

They entered through the unlocked front door, believing the woman’s life was in jeopardy, the sheriff said.

The victim told investigators she had moved out of the man’s home two days earlier because of ongoing fights. According to deputies’ reports, she said the man lured her back by saying he was sick and needed help.

At the court hearing, prosecutor Michael Wynhausen said Ruck told authorities the woman was having mental health issues, he was trying to help her and she had fallen.

The sheriff praised Gonzalez and Americare for their efforts.

“If this guy hadn’t have gone the extra mile, we’re not sure what would have happened,” Riley said.

Lebanon is a small town in western Oregon’s Willamette Valley.

As reported on Global News. 

I cannot emphasize it enough; no contact is the only safe way to handle a narcissist after a split. I did not follow the no contact rule and I got very lucky. I believe God was watching out for me for a long time waiting for me to wake up and smell the coffee. When I think back to how many times I got that feeling in my gut and ignored it, how many times I let him in against my better judgement, I am amazed I am even here today.

No Contact because he never has your best interest at heart, if you are hurting and broken he will use it against you to get ns from your pain. If you are doing well he will try to bring you back down, if you have been telling people about him, or told him that you think he is a narcissist or threatened to tell people what he is then he will do whatever he can to shut you up, If he feels threatened in anyway or if he feels he is going to lose anything in the breakup (whether that is fact or not doesn’t matter, it is whatever he is imagining in his evil little pee brain) you are in danger and should never allow him into your home or allow yourself to be alone with him for any reason. And they will try anything to get what they want, pretending to be ill is sure to play on your conscience, it worked with me. But then I was a slow learner and didn’t realize what I was dealing with. YOU are much smarter and informed.

 

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13 thoughts on “Exactly Why No Contact Is So Important

      • I hadn’t heard about it, but I don’t watch the news much. Sirens have been going off a lot the past week all over town. Don’t know what’s up. We have a lot of tweakers (meth users) here and violence follows the drug use. So sad.

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  1. For me, its very painful reading about women and children being abused, physical violence in particular… it’s painful because I have a vivid imagination that easily conjures up that image of abuse which makes me want to help…yet, I can’t and it’s like being a bystander that can do nothing but watch! Gload the lady in the story had guardian angels helping her survive.

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    • Only Me, I flash back and realize how lucky I was. Just before I left him his sister stepped in front of him to stop him and it took minutes for him to lower his arm. He was thinking hard, I think that day could have been really bad had she not been there. I was stupid and lucky. Not everyone is but everyone thinks it won’t happen to me, he could never do that.

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  2. However much it happens is too much. I was wondering the same thing regarding media coverage vs. a ramp up in accounts. I have, however, felt for sometime now (years) that many more people (from all backgrounds, etc. – large cross-section) seem to lack coping skills. It seems more people feel entitled to whatever they believe they deserve and they lack the ability to cope with constructive criticism, disappointment, rejection, and heartbreak. Of course we don’t know this until they act badly. Those who have gone through things and have had to pick themselves up by their boot straps tend to think everyone is capable of doing the same, but unfortunately the opposite seems more common.

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