To Serve And Protect? Are You Joking?

friendly police

This may seem a little off topic but actually it is terrifyingly very much related to narcissist/psychopaths and their need for power, control and delusional belief that they deserve to take whatever they want, do whatever they want and are above the law.

In recent years the news has been increasingly flooded with reports of cops beating and tasering innocent people, old aged pensioners, young kids, people’s pets, and expecting to get off (after they have a few months paid vacation) while the case is investigated.  If a person calls the police or is stopped for a traffic violation they are tossing the dice and hoping they get one of the “good cops” and he is in a good mood.

In the news recently, 3 cops in Toronto were suspended with pay and charged with gang raping a female parking enforcement officer, (the reporter made a point to mention the officers were off duty and drunk when they raped the woman. I don’t know about you but that just doesn’t make me feel better) They were quickly released on $15,000 bail (good thing they will continue to get paid while they wait to go to court). When asked why the officers were still being paid the police chief said because they are innocent until proven guilty. Correct me if I am wrong but I am pretty sure not all citizens are given the same courtesy, in fact I am positive. One of the officers was involved in a cover up of the beating of chef Raymond Costain, whose seven drunk driving-related charges were stayed in March 2013 due to “excessive force” and “misconduct” by police. I don’t even know what constitutes “excessive force” and “misconduct”.

The next big breaking news story the other day is the 17 police officers from the Abbotsford Police Dept who are being investigated on 148 separate charges of attempting to obstruct justice and corruption. These charges stem from an investigation started in 2012 when the Vancouver Police Dept was brought in to investigate one officer who has been suspended without pay and is charged with three counts of breach of trust, misconduct, lying in order to secure search warrants, warning drug dealers of impending raids, drug dealing and conspiracy and one count of unsafe storage of a firearm. The investigation uncovered further allegations of misconduct against 16 of Abbotsford Police Department’s 217 officers.

All this has brought the courts to a grinding halt because before proceeding with cases they have to make sure the investigations were done properly and cases already tried are now being looked at again to make sure those investigations were done legally. This could very well end up with criminals who were guilty of a crime getting out on a technicality and it could also mean innocent people will see justice. Either way this is going to be a huge cost to the tax payer, the people who pay the cops wages, the people these cops are paid to protect. It proves what a joke our legal system is. Seventeen; count them, 17, cops under investigation for 148 separate charges of misconduct, in one small rural town, I cringe to think how many dirty cops there are in Vancouver. Off the top of my head; Robert Dziekański a polish visitor to Vancouver who did not speak English, who was tasered to death at Vancouver Airport,  then there is 47-year-old Firoz Khan, who was attacked and badly beaten by 3 drunk off duty cops in the early morning hours while he was doing his job as a delivery person back in 2007 and none of the cops did any time behind bars, The homeless man who was beaten to death, the numerous cops caught drunk driving, the homes that have been raided by “accident” where innocent people were assaulted and innocent dogs were shot in front of the children. It makes me literally sick to my stomach and it is happening all over the world.

I absolutely do not agree with the whack jobs that go around killing innocent police but I can see why these nut cases would be inclined to do so. From what I can tell most cops get a slap on the wrist and a paid vacation when there is a complaint filed, I know of no other profession where you can beat the crap out of someone for no reason, rape, or steal from customers and continue to receive your pay cheque while you wait to go to court.  After all, are the police not hired to protect citizens?, making all of us their customers, do our tax dollars not pay their wages? Doesn’t that earn us fair treatment and respect? We are not being protected by the people we hire to do the job; we are being terrorized by them without recourse. If we dare to file complaints against one of them we can expect to not be able to blow our noses in public without being charged with something.

It appears to me there is a younger generation of cops who are in it for the power it gives them, that they are above the law and if they are itching to beat the crap out of someone, rape someone, or if they have it in for someone they can manipulate the laws, downright break the law, and the most they will get is a paid vacation. It is scary to think what is going to happen when the old timer cops have all retired and we are left with a bunch of power hungry control freak narcissist/psychopaths who are running amuck, writing their own laws as they go.

I personally should have filed complaints against the cops at different times in my life but they were called because of domestic abuse and I was already in a weakened and emotional state. It was a regular “old boys club” with my ex and the Mission police; joking around with the cops, the cops telling me to keep MY mouth shut or they would arrest me, right down to offering my ex to take whatever he wanted and did he want to check in the house for anything he wanted and when I protested and said there was nothing in the house that belonged to him the cop pointed his finger in my face and said, “I told YOU to keep your mouth shut, one more word and I will arrest you!”

Then they tell me he won’t be back and they escorted him out of the park and when I go out to get boxes for moving I find myself in the headlights of my ex’s truck.  When my ex altered my statement to the police and photocopied my signature at the bottom in an obvious forgery the cops did not notify me but waited until court day and then handed it to my son in an obvious attempt to aggravate the situation.  When the police were called by my school because they were afraid for my safety and when the female cop asked if I wanted help to leave and I said yes she left and a week later a male cop drives up and hands me brochures on domestic abuse with my ex standing right there and there was a restraining order on him at the time. Yet a few weeks later the cops come through the gate with tow trucks and haul away all these stolen vehicles out of the gravel pit that my ex had hidden and yet he does not get charged for any of them but they haul him away because there is a restraining order against him and leave me 10 miles out in the middle of nowhere without a phone or vehicle.  Every single time they were called it ended up being a joke so I stopped expecting help and it only contributed further to my feelings of helplessness and self doubt.

There was the time I was pulled over by the Department of Transportation and my truck was taken off the road because of a loud exhaust, the cop gave me tickets equalling almost $2000. I fought him in court and made a fool out of him and had my fines reduced to a couple hundred dollars. When I asked the officer if he remembered what he said to me when he gave me the ticket and the officer said he didn’t, I refreshed his memory, “You said, I don’[t want to appear like I don’t care, but I don’t care.” The judge looked at the cop and asked, “You said that?” The officer replied, “Well yeah, the tears had started by then.” The judge looked at me and then the officer, “Who was crying?” I put up my hand and said, “Me your Honor.” The judge looked at the officer and the cop smirked, “Typical female thought she could turn on the waterworks and get off.” The judge said, “I think I have heard enough.”

The thing is, a lot of narcissists are informants for the police so are above the law even if they aren’t a cop, I can’t believe what my ex got away with and wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if he was a rat.

People have to start getting outraged at police misconduct, brutality, and blatant breaking of the law; not just when someone dies, but all the time! Police need to be made accountable for their actions, just like anyone else is made accountable, they should be MORE accountable than anyone else on the face of the earth not LESS. If we can’t trust the people hired to protect us we might as all give up now and move into the hills.

I used to respect the police and now I fear them and in Canada; that is very disturbing.  I tell you this, I never call the cops any more, in my mind they are useless and have only ever made the situation worse.


15 thoughts on “To Serve And Protect? Are You Joking?

  1. Many of the law enforcement officers here in the states are ex-military who were trained to terrorize and use excessive force to subdue the local populace to maintain order. Anyone who wasn’t a member of the military or an informant for the military was ‘the enemy’. It’s no wonder when they returned home and became local law enforcement they retained the same mentality of terrorizing the locals. I know I won’t call the police or sheriffs for protection, and whenever I’m on the road I make sure to abide by every traffic law. No one I know expects the police to be held accountable for being less than honest or honorable in their behavior either on or off duty anymore. Sorry to hear it’s the same sorry situation in Canada.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. O. For years Canadian cops were notoriously the “good cops” it was always a kind of joke about the tough cops in the states and Canadian cops say “please” and are always so polite etc. In recent years it has steadily changed and although it is not as bad as in the states it certainly is heading that way. It is despicable that it is allowed, even with everyone walking around with cell phones taping the abuse they don’t seem to care; they keep right on doing as they always have. But then, the videos come out and we see the abuse but we never hear what happens to the cop, I am sure at the worst they get a paid vacation and slap on the wrist.
      Thanks for commenting.


  2. I HAVE BEEN READING YOUR BLOG FOR OVER 3 YEARS AND CAN NOT GET ENOUGH LOL-YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION TO SOOO MANY!!! My name is Lisa Anderson I am in Texas after my D I V O R C E from a NARC NOV013 divorce was final but yetI receive texts today.At this point I know it is harassment -I will probably nev ev get you to email me back but I am an April baby, approaching my 50th and very much wanted to tell you a kind “thank you” FOR SEEING THE LATTER SIDE TO ABUSE,FOR ALLOWING PEOPLE TO VENT AND INQUIRE,FOR EXERCISING AN ENRGY, YOURS, FOR BEING STRONG AND REMAINING YOU!!!! my birthday is April 5, and I only wanted you to realize as you already do, the warmth that’s comes from your blog, the examples of stories and people relating to them

    Saying thanks to a “hard core broad” as yourself with still a tender heart -we have much in common

    Lisa Anderson,49
    Texas contact me as a friend any time:)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lisa, Another strong Aries woman!! April 5th! wow! thank you so much for all your kind words! Yes we Aries women are an unusual combination of soft heart and tough as nails. Everyone always takes us for a push over but we can be a tough force to be reckoned with when we have reached our limit. That is what made it so hard for my family to understand why I stayed so long with the N. My son used to call me a marshmallow and I was a marshmallow with him and he saw how soft hearted I would be with people in need etc but he had also seen me drop guys in a hot minute if they mistreated me or my boy. No one could believe what I took from my ex. I couldn’t believe what i took and how low I got, but I rallied and so can others and life is so much sweeter when we do.

      I am glad the “feel” and message I want to convey comes through on the blog.
      Thank you for commenting.
      Bug hugs


  3. Hi Carrie,

    I haven’t commented on your site for a little while. I’ve finally got the narc right out of my life. It has been nearly 10 months now and I am slowly getting myself back…slowly. Just recently in Australia a police officer shot dead a young girl with asperghers (a sad disorder) who had a knife in her hand, she was disoriented. Yes, she was some threat, but wouldn’t there have been another way to stop her? She wasn’t near anyone at the time. 22 year old dead due to a day where her mental illness took hold of her. The system lets people down. My own experience with police over domestics violence calls is that you are constantly defending yourself for being involved with a batterer. Australian of the year this year was a woman whose husband shot dead her son after she left him due to constant violence. The police didn’t protect her. He shot his own son dead at his cricket match and then shot himself. She has become a strong advocate for domestic violence. I lived in Queensland for some time, a very male dominated state here, but have since move back to my home town of Melbourne, laws are much tougher here. In Queensland I was brutalised by the police one night. I was mouthy, in fight mode after being abused for so long. I refused to go into a room with a male officer, I told them I had been in an abusive relationship and only wanted to deal with women officers. Consequently 5 huge police officers surrounded me to escort me into a room. As I started to comply, one twisted my arm from behind me way up my back. Nearly broke my shoulder, the pain was excruciating, I was so scared but refused to show it. So after being abused they continued it. Oh yes, they slapped a criminal complaint on me for police abuse, I did not physically do anything just refused to comply with their demands. I had to plead guilty, what could you plea really. Only ever time in a court room. The judge looked at me as I stood terrified with tears running down my cheek. He asserted that for the past few years I had been through a nightmare and did not record the conviction. I don’t know how this affects my record but I know they covered their ass in case I made a complaint. I didn’t have a hope. Like all of us due to narcissistic abuse, the abuse wasn’t just caused by our partners but seemed to come from so many others also. Thankfully, I’m out but I am still anxious around others, highly protective of myself and sometimes still have flash back about times that seem surreal now. As they say I am out but the healing takes a long time and impacts you in ways you would never have imagined. Thanks for your posts I always read them even though I don’t comment much nowadays. Have to tell you, your latest photo looks great. You look very happy and healthy, The result of living ones life according to your own terms and in your own power. Looking forward to my constant healing and life getting better and better. Funny that the woman my x finally devalued me for has apparently left him after only months. MMmmmm some women get a clue quickly. Thank you for the support you give us all. Yes, the system needs to be reformed. I don’t communicate at all with my x now, after many calls that I ignored when I moved he I think now has finally given up. Saw his profile on a dating site as single, he looks absolutely terrible, the result of a life of excess and lies.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Vanessa, so good to hear from you again and to hear you have gotten him totally out of your life. It does take going no contact and it is so hard but once you start to realize that it is the contact that makes no contact so hard (if that makes sense) it gets so much easier. I never thought I would see the day where I didn’t fight with that phone but it finally came and it felt so good and that is when the healing really begins. I am so sorry you had to endure the cop brutalizing you after all you had been through, hopefully things are changing. it is truly horrifying what victims have gone through not only with the N but then the cops. No wonder DV has carried on for so many years and the victims fell silent, what was the point? they would end up worse off for seeking help.
      I can’t believe that the cops in Australia are still so ignorant after all the publicity DV has had of late. Glad you have moved to a more compassionate part of Australia, but now that you are free of him I hope you will never have to call the police again in your life. You have earned peace and serenity for the rest of your life.
      Wishing you much happiness Hugs oh! and thank you for the comment about my pic, yes it is amazing what living life free of the control of a narcissist will do for a person’s appearance. I feel so much better and actually look forward to the future. Life is grand almost 5 years out. Just gotta get the finances straightened out and I will be set.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks for your reply Carrie. There was point in my life where you were my only support one night and you were going through a tough time yourself then I remember. I do still read your comments and you are always right on the money. For anyone reading these comments, there truly is a better life when you endure for the first few difficult months. It takes time to rebuild but the rewards and peace of mind are worth it. I use to trawl everything for answers and support. Thankfully I don’t do that as much now, I don’t have to. Yes, a show I watched on the weekend called it an epidemic, a huge problem in our world created by the mysoginistic attitude still in some men about women, that they are there to serve and do the bidding of the male. I can have the opportunity to work for a local womens group and to be trained in counselling women in this situation but for me it is still too raw. Perhaps when I have a bit of space I may give back as you did when I needed it. I am definitely passionate about the cause. I know the damage and understand how hard it is to break away from. Women are so misunderstood when they are being abused when they return, but its the psychological manipulation they are caught up in. Break that for good and you begin to come back and see life much more clearly. Thank you Carrie, you do a wonderful job and yes, the police need greater understanding about the cycle of abuse.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Vanessa, you are doing your part to raise awareness about abuse just by being open and honest about your experiences. We all have our opportunities and you may find that working in a transition home is too close to home for you, we are not all cut out to be activists. It does keep a person emmersed in it and to move on and find happiness is a good thing. There will come a day when your experiences are going to be needed to help a victim and when that day comes you will do what you can to help.
          You have come so far, give yourself a huge pat on the back for that and keep looking forward. You are smart to know that you are too raw to do that kind of work right now.
          All the best to you as you go forward, I think some exciting new avenues are going to open up for you.


  4. Thank you for your excellent blog. The police are out of control in America … and have been for my entire life. I have never had any help from the police no matter what happened to me; whether it was being beaten by my father when I was young, or raped when I was a teenager (according to the police I was a “prostitute or wore my skirt too short”, was “asking for it or wanted it”) or trying to get a drunken drug-addled “guest” out of my house and it was “my fault for letting him in.” Add in being beaten and maced by cops during peaceful protests against the Vietnam War in 1968 and the list goes on.

    Too many incidents to continue on, including the fat cop who tried to rape me in the back of the police van when I had been raped and was being taken to the hospital. Can you imagine? I have to admit that I hate the police and am always glad when I hear about one being shot. I’m sure I’m not supposed to say that or even think it, but they have caused more harm in my life than any criminal. Half of them need to be in jail for the murderous torturers they are. Let the real criminals and gang members mete out their own style of justice on these bullies we pay to “protect us.” What a joke. The cops deserve everything they would get in jail. It would be pay-back time!


    1. Catharine, thank you for your comments, I am so sorry you have endured such abuse from the people hired to protect you. It is criminal and so many of the cops and the people who work in child welfare should be behind bars. It makes sense that these people gravitate to these professions because it does give them control and power. There should be some personality test done on anyone who is in the position of ruining a person’s life and if they don’t have a certain level of empathy they don’t get the job.
      You can’t teach empathy, and a person without it can never be in a position of power.
      I agree with your thoughts on cops for sure. I used to respect the cops, I have had some really good cops but the number of bad ones far outweighs the good and a person should never be afraid of the cops. A person should never feel they are better off to take their chances with the criminals than to turn to the police for help.


  5. I have to add, since there is no edit button here, I despise the cops, not hate them. They aren’t worth enough to hate them. I just hope they all get what they have earned. It won’t be pretty when that day comes. Can you imagine being married to one? The few women I know all divorced them, and I don’t wonder why.


  6. The police are always harassing people here as well. I wasn’t too sure if I wanted to share this, but it may help others dealing with the same experience. I’m a week away from 60 days no contact. My ex is now abusing me by proxy. She has filed for a restraining order. I’m not interested in engaging with her any further so I’ve chosen to not show up for court. It just makes no contact that much easier. Also, they are very strict with domestic violence here. Hence, she’ll get an order regardless. She knows I know now what she is so this is what poses threat to her, and I don’t want to incite any further attacks. You cannot win with these people so there’s no point reasoning with them. Their reason is always self-motivated and hurting you makes no difference in achieving their goal.

    This may offend some so I want to apologize up front if it does. I’m just sharing my personal experience for others who might be dealing with the same plight. Unfortunately males cannot be the victim in society’s ideas today. Most men don’t report abuse due to this, and when they do they aren’t believed. There is also no resources for male victims. If the police are called here, the ‘law’ is that someone is going to jail, and 90% of the time it is the male. The truth is that it’s just a matter of liability. My ex learned this very quickly.

    The first incident occurred when she became addicted to pain medication after a car accident. She agreed to go to rehab, but the soonest I could get her in was in 3 days. I took all the pain meds and hid them. When I got home from work the following day I found her with the pain medications that I had hidden. I grabbed all from her, and she called her mother and asked her to come get her. He mother called the police, and when they arrived I was arrested for abuse trying to save her frickin life! I wasn’t charged but spent 3 days in jail. I should have learned, but I forgave as most victims do. I stood by her because that’s what I believed a good partner does.

    The next incident occurred when I was woken up at 5 am with my ex standing over me saying, “You’re lucky your not dead.” She had broken into my email through using my secret question, (narcs are very astute at information gathering) and found communication with a few ex’s. None to which were current and prior to our relationship. I was very dazed and confused. I was angry but not abusive. Trying to explain and defend myself I didn’t touch her or even yell. She called the police immediately so I went and sat on the porch and waited. They arrested me again when they arrived. I sat in jail for 5 days, but wasn’t charged and released. She then used the ‘other women’ story against me constantly over and over, all the while cheating with 3 other men that I’m aware of. This is their sickness. Projecting on you exactly what their doing. She started using the police as a weapon. I don’t know why I always forgave her, but as a caring human being that’s what we do. This is in no way reciprocated with a narc. I learned that I deserve far better and need to love myself much better as well.

    There is no love, compassion or guilt with a narc. They will use any means as abuse and for control. She abused me through the system. She learned she could call the police to threaten, scare, control, shut me up and shut me out whenever we argued or I questioned her. The final discard came when I finally started putting the pieces together and questioning her. She couldn’t keep up with all the lies told. I found all the lies true, and the ‘truth’ all lies. She couldn’t look at herself so I became negative supply instead of the thrill, and the abuse got far worse. So yes, I’m in agreement the system totally sucks! Men are especially screwed in this forum when an abuser catches on how much they can hurt you by triangulation and proxy. I wish you all well. I hope I didn’t offend anyone and hope sharing my experience might help someone else.

    Love and Light.


    1. Healing, thanks for sharing your story. I think as far as the police go, it is a perfect occupation for narcs, power and control and I think whatever suits their purpose at the time, whatever gives them the power to screw with someone is the way they go. There is no real sense of wanting to protect people or withhold the law, but more what makes them feel the most powerful. So who is innocent or guilty is of little consequence, they will do things to aggravate the situation in order to get to play God in the situation. Not saying that all cops are that way but it seems the majority are and then society ends up playing a game of chance every time they have to deal with them. Narcs know this and they know how to play the game so that it usually works in their favor. it takes an astute cop to pick up on the facade and charade the Narc plays, it takes someone with empathy and caring soul’ certainly not how you would describe a narc.
      Any shared experience is a help to others because it always helps to prove that a person is never alone in their struggles and it is not just them and they are not paranoid or crazy.


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