The question of whether a person should be using their real name or not when they comment on here came up again. As a general rule you probably should never comment using your full real name anywhere, especially if you are breaking up with a narcissist, unless you want the whole world to know. I didn’t think about it when I started my blog, I originally started it to promote my company and that is why it is called Lady Witha Truck, and I certainly never expected it to become as popular as it has.
A few years back my ex found my blog and made some lengthy, slanderous comments and saying how hurt he was that I would tell lies about him. I was tempted to leave them up and even comment back but I knew he was trying to pull me back into it with him and any kind of response would just elicit more venom from him. I had blocked him everywhere else and this was his one way of getting a reaction out of me. So I deleted his comments and was able to block that email address and IP number from commenting. (I am privy to everyone’s email addy and IP number). He could still read the blog but not comment. He came in under different alias’s then; Norma Rockwell, Fat Bastard, Chuck, but it was easy to pick up on him by the tone of his comments and I would delete them and block them. Finally I made it so that the first time someone commented I had to approve it, once they had been approved they could comment freely. I have since changed it back to anyone can comment and have their comment appear immediately. I feel it should be that way because I don’t always get to comments right away and people need to talk to someone now not tomorrow.
I also started paying for an IP tracking app that shows exactly where every commenter is from, what time they were on the site, how long they were here and what they read. He continued to lurk here on a regular basis for a couple of years but seems to have moved on now, unless he has gotten some app to hide his identity; which is possible.
You should know that if a person has your IP number they can pretty well pinpoint where you live by tracing your IP number and then using Google maps, street view. I knew my ex had moved to a town up the coast and I had seen a pic of his house but had no idea of the address. He was spending hours in my blog and I was collecting info in hopes of proving he was stalking me, one day I used an app where you can get the location of any IP number, which I did and then used Google Street view and was shocked to be looking right at his house. So it is not always that accurate but be aware that it is possible to be tracked back.
If your ex knows the name you usually use as your Username they can Google that also and it will show everything you say when you are signed in under that name. Someone can Google your email address, or your phone number and anything related to those things on the net will come up; such as if you have an ad on Craig’s list and use your email or phone number the ad will come up in a Google search.
On the flip side of the coin you should be Googling your own name occasionally, when my ex could no longer comment on here he started several of his own blogs. I never used his full name in here, I was not out to slander him; anyone who knows me would know who I was talking about but if anyone Googled his name my blog would not have come up. I still didn’t want to ruin his chances of getting a job etc. He was not as courteous and put up horrible posts about me, telling straight out lies, accusing me of everything he did to me and used my full name and blog name so it would come up when people Googled Ladywithtruck or Carrie Reimer. He would put a post up on one blog, take it down a week later and put one up on his other blog, take it down and put a new one up on the first one. I could not prove he was slandering me because they were never up long enough and the most that will happen is they would tell him to take them down anyway.
You should also be aware how easy it is to put a tracking app on someone’s phone. I saw a number I didn’t recognize on my call display and thinking it was a work call I returned the call. I got my ex’s voice mail and hung up immediately but it was too late, he now was hacked into my phone’s GPS. From there he figured out where I lived etc and put a tracking device on my vehicle. The mechanic where I worked found it while working on the truck and he came to me and asked if I had someone who would be stalking me. A chill went down my spine and I asked why he wanted to know and he showed me this tiny piece of metal no more than an inch in size.
Once he had that on my truck he was able to figure out where I was living and working. Then he made anonymous phone calls trying to get me evicted and fired. Luckily it didn’t work but it was very stressful and I had my second heart attack shortly after all this happened. Plus I didn’t feel safe at all, no one tracks a person unless they mean them harm.
It all sounds so theatrical, CSI ish, but it is very real and you should be aware that in this day and age with technology what it is, if a person wants to harm you, slander you, or just make your life hell it can be done very cheaply and easily. Another reason no contact is so important, you answer that phone and it is him and bam he now can hear everything you say, everywhere you go, everything you text and every call you make and your phone doesn’t even have to be on.
Someone can open an email account under any name they want and pretend to be you, or slander you and you will never know it or be able to stop it. I don’t want to make you paranoid but you must be aware and diligent about security on all your electronics and your home. Your ex’s may not be as sinister as my ex, but if they discover you know what they are they just may want to make sure you don’t have a chance to out them.
You may think that your ex has never hurt you before, sure he said nasty things but he would never do anything to really hurt you. Don’t kid yourself. Up until now you were playing the game with him. He would give you the silent treatment for a while, then call you and you would go back to him, you danced the dance with him; he had no need to harm you. But once he is done with you and has new supply he doesn’t need you and you are garbage to him, useless and he wants to destroy you and everything about you. If he is afraid you will expose him for the scum he is he is capable of anything. And IF you leave him before he is ready to let you go he will NOT be happy, how dare you dump him!! he will use every tactic he has to get you back and if that doesn’t work he will destroy you. DO. NOT. DOUBT. IT! I have shared stories here and heard from victims of them getting a call to meet the narc, to pick up their stuff, just have a drink, or whatever excuse the N can lure them with. They go and end up fighting for their lives, literally, some women don’t get away. See my friend Kim’s blog http://www.Myinnerchick.com, where she talks about her sister’s murder.
The Escape button at the right of the screen near the top is for if you are still living with your narcissist and don’t want him to know you are researching narcissists, abusive relationships, etc you can hit the escape button and it takes you to Huffington Post immediately, should he/she walk in the room unexpectedly. (BTW it is never a good idea to let the narcissist know you think he is a narcissist. The last thing he wants is to be exposed for what he is and it could be dangerous for you. Plus they will research it themselves and accuse you of everything a narcissist does and they will know what traits of theirs gives them away.)
Well, that is it I think, to many of you this is just a repeat of past posts I have done on this topic but it never hurts to repeat it.