My blogging friend Kim, from My Inner Chick once again touched my heart with her post and I wanted to share it with you all.
We all have waffled on whether we should leave or not, left and gone back, and we all thought, “He would never do anything to “really” hurt me. He would never kill me. “I am just being paranoid”, “he’s a cheater, not a murderer”, “sure he’s jealous but he would never kill me”. “I go back because he threatens to kill himself, he would never hurt me.”, “I am just going to see what he has to say,” Whatever lie you tell yourself to stifle that gnawing in your stomach that is telling you to stay away, you are in danger.
That is your natural instinct telling you to run, you are in danger but you don’t want to hear that, you want your fantasy, you want the love of your life, your soul mate. The love of your life, your soul mate would not hurt you, the love of your life would die to protect you. The love of your life would never make you the enemy, the love of your life would never hurt you with words let alone physically. The love of your life would never sneer as you cry, he would never call you names or twist your words, he would never turn on you and look at you with loathing.
So he/she can not be the love of your life, if you have parents, children or friends that care for you; do you want them to live with the pain of your murder? Do you want them to pack that burden for the rest of their lives? because you will be gone, it will be the people who love who will be left to carry the pain forever more. They will have to bury you, perhaps sit in court while your ex tells his lies, they will be the ones who ultimately lose. Not you, not the narcissist but the people who are left behind to mourn you and forever more wish they had one more day, feeling guilty because they didn’t save you some how. They will you know, they will feel guilty for not somehow saving you from yourself and from the N. You will leave children to miss their mother’s love.
When you think about the pain your loved ones will endure and are enduring knowing you are in danger and just won’t listen to reason; do you realize how selfish you are being? I didn’t, I always say I would die for my son, but I didn’t leave James, my son suffered because of that, I know it caused damage for my boy to worry about his mom, I can barely talk about it because of the guilt I feel.
Anyway, here is the link to Kim’s post.