How Many More Have to Die Before Society Takes Notice?

She wasn’t a movie star are married to a famous football player, she was just a single mom, living in a trailer with her two kids, 9 and 11; doing what she could to get by. It was a low rent trailer park that she lived in. I have been in the trailer park on several occasions; it was just down the road from me and I used to get mail for one of the residents there so I would drop it off.

The bastard, the son-of-a-bitch who killed her zap strapped her children and I heard that you could hear her screams as the trailer engulfed in flames. Miraculously the children got out, still zap strapped. The woman is dead. The police have caught their man. It was her ex. Small consolation when a life is lost and in such a horrific way. Those children will live the rest of their lives with the nightmare of that night waking them up in a cold sweat, what scars they will pack the rest of their lives is impossible to imagine. The sound of their mother’s screams in the middle of the night as she is burned alive because of some asshole; will be a sound that never leaves them. They are girls; any guesses on how their relationships with boys will be?

I am sickened and madder than hell because I can not believe the lack of response from society. People should be outraged, they should be opening their wallets and raising their voices to save women and children from violence; instead they still prefer to blame the victim. “tsk tsk, I never would have stayed”, “I could see a mile off he was a nut case”, “she must have liked it.” or any of the other totally absurd things that people say.

The cops hope that the family gets some consultation out of the fact that the murderer was caught so quickly. They probably knew exactly where to look because I bet this isn’t the first time they have been called. The writing was on the wall, the only thing no one knew was when, where and how.

The full story is here 


10 thoughts on “How Many More Have to Die Before Society Takes Notice?

  1. More victim-blaming while society moves on to the next lurid headline. Domestic violence is an EPIC problem affecting millions, daily, and costing too many people their lives. But it’s easier for people to brush it under the carpet and believe that victims brought it on themselves somehow. You’re doing a great job making a big noise about this horrific blight on the world.


  2. I know in my heart this is what my daughters estranged husband will do to her. All the proof of what he did means nothing to the da. He has charges in two states going on. Leaves the state and nothing has happened he gets away with all this because he continues to tell her he will kill her, and he means it. I found out I am not allowed to talk to the judge or DA regarding anything. So I guess we all just hang out and wait until he kills her. When that happens I’ll find a way to tell the entire story if the government shuts me out maybe on the dr phil show? Ex NFL that someone is protecting there are no laws to protect the victim or the children. NFL does not want any more bad press and they have the money to HANDLE it.


  3. also i know my daughter sent the audio tape of the most recent rape (3rd time) was told by police you have to have proof the two times before that. They never helped her or protected her and the children. The police could have also been affraid of him? She sent the tape to her estranged mother in law because the mother in law blames her for her sons behavior. His family has seen him punch her they have seen the bruises and black eyes and all they could say what what did she do to deserve that.


    1. Karen, my heart goes out to you, such a helpless feeling to be a mother who’s hands are tied to stop the abuse of their child. To have the authorities ignore the cries for help. It is criminal!! I only hope that if enough of us speak out about our experiences someone somewhere will listen and take action to stop it finally. I pray your daughter gets the help she needs before it is too late.
      I am so sorry!!


  4. In my five years of experience working with victims of domestic violence, we lost six women. Letting the accused out on bail repeatedly was something we could never understand. Little did I know I would suffer “old boys club think” myself – in 2012 can you believe- when I was physically assaulted by my then bestie and my ex who held my arms so I could not even defend myself. Police came out alright. But those two lied to the police, the police made fun of me, I heard one say to another “she’s just mad because he is blinking her friend.” That was so not it (I left him in 2009) but the police would not hear me. Not at all. For over a year I wet my bed due to her (an RN with martial arts) kick to my crotch. She could have burst my bladder and killed me on the spot. Kicking is a lethal offence in Canada. But the police thought ME the liar and that was that, they dropped the charges because those two lied. I was literally screwed over by all concerned. Finally, in May 2014 (after the statute of limitations had expired) they admitted they lied to police. Small consolation because neither would contact the police to change the file to the truth. Nothing is more crazy making than being in such a helpless and hopeless position with the system failing you again again because of the staunchly held biases of the very people you have to call for help. So sorry for her loss, her children have a tough road ahead and I hope that monster gets what he deserves.


    1. Janis, I know how you have suffered and you have overcome such great odds, you are an amazingly resilient woman and another example of a woman who did nothing to deserve the abuse with the added insult of her “best friend” being part of it. You have been living a horrific night mare!! it is enough to put a person over the edge mentally. You are so strong!
      Big hugs

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks, Carrie, without the support and kindness of strangers, I would not have made it. So glad we connected a few years back, your posts about your own experiences were so heartening to read. Thank you for being fearless YOU, much love and hugs. ❤️❤️❤️


  5. I am sorry for the children who definitely will be scarred for the rest of their lives. Hopefully someone might help them to heal some of the sorrow so that they may live some kind of life without destructive relationships or destructiveness to themselves. It is a horror they have gone through. I doubt society takes much notice other than it made big news around the place for awhile. I do not see society getting ready to meet this problem at the root before it takes seed. I have suffered in obscurity and invisibility for years – I had to find out for myself what in the heck was being done to me. I read also that when the psychopath is done with their victim, they murder them. It was a frightening revelation. I felt that much more desperate to reach someone – impossible. I have endured vicious violence, lies and unbelievable inhuman cruelty that has to be as evil as evil gets. Not a blink or a bleep or blip. It takes one heck of a strong person to endure their violence and evil. Although this is without reservation a tragedy, undoubtedly the woman was a heroine, very brave and strong. She kept trying to live her life and full well knowing what the monster was willing and capable of doing. It is a cruel thing that any human being has to live with a monster tearing you apart all the time while society, neighbors and all bump along as if its just another day. Yeah! It would be real nice if we could embrace our humanity enough to just stop by and check on each other from time to time to see how things are going. None of us need any more problems and chaos in our lives, but we can not afford to lose someone who is just honestly trying to live their life and keep on loving in the face of it all. People deserve to be safe and there just is not any excuse to allow this to happen. We need each other too much to be indifferent or worse yet, betray one another to this kind of nightmare. There goes two innocent children fractured, A child can not tolerate seeing their mother hurt, how society accepts it is beyond me.


    1. Earlymorning, thank you for you comment, you are yet another example of a strong female survivor. There are male victims of abuse but the statistics prove it is the women who regularly die at the hands of their significant other. You are right, this horrific murder is but a blip in the lives of the people who live near by but life will go on for everyone and it will become a faded memory, something that is gossiped about and whispered about years from now. But how many people will really care, how many people will be there to help these children heal? When something like this happens I can’t help but wonder how the world keeps turning, I know there is death and destruction all over the world and this woman is just one of many people who are unjustly tortured, murdered, forgotten and she was no one special in the big picture. She should not be forgotten, she WAS special, she was those two girls mother, she was someone’s daughter, she was loved by many people I am sure and her death should mean something, it should make a difference.
      I only hope that by speaking out eventually society will not accept death so easily and there will be real progress made to end domestic violence. it starts with breaking the silence, speaking out, not keeping the secret.


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