I was asked by my friend Paula to participate in some sort of Blogging Tour and to answer 4 questions, which you will find at the end of the post. Like the title says, Paula asked so I did it. Paula has been a wonderful friend through out my blogging “career”, we started our blogs about the same time and bonded over the net. She has been a constant supporter going so far as to send me a spare laptop she had when mine broke a few years ago. My how time flies. If not for Paula I would not even be here! Love and hugs to you Paula!!
So this post is for Paula and here are the questions and answers.
- How does your writing/creative process work?
I haven’t really thought about it, I didn’t think I had a process, I just write. But now thinking about it; an idea usually comes to me while I am walking my dog Stella or while driving, you know? those times when your mind wanders. When I think of a post I want to write I try to sit down and at least get a start on it, but usually if I sit down to write a post I finish it because once it starts to flow I can’t shut it off. If it doesn’t flow easily I will save it to drafts and from there 90%of the time it gets deleted.
I have found that the posts that come from deep inside me, the ones where I hesitate to hit the “Publish” button because I feel it is too raw, emotional, or honest; are the posts that I get the most positive reactions from the readers.
Once I get a topic I want to write about, I type it just like I was talking to someone and I don’t edit it at all or even proof read it before I hit publish, if I think about it too much I start to fill with self doubt and end up changing it or deleting it. Once it is posted I go immediately to the actual post and read it, then go back and fix spelling mistakes.
- What are you working on at the moment?
I am struggling with trying to compile posts from my blog into a book. It is a huge job and overwhelming. I want to break it down into a series of books; I would like to write a daily inspirational journal, one with real letters from victims and my reply to them and how it eventually turned out for them, if I know. And of course I want to write about my 10 years with my ex; that is the one I am working on right now.
- Why do you write or create what you do?
I have never considered myself to be a writer. I used to write when I was in school but quit when my dad found some of my stuff and read it out loud to the family and laughed. I didn’t write again until I left my ex and started my blog. At first I wrote pretty generic posts about my everyday life, I had no support system and I needed someone to care, anyone! I had some bad days and wrote about them and people started following me and like I said earlier, the more honest and vulnerable I was the more people liked what I wrote.
Somewhere along the way someone said I was an inspiration, which blew me away and then people started asking advice and before I knew it I was giving support and advice, researching if I didn’t have the answer. Now I write mainly to give victims answers, support and hope. It is very gratifying to know that I turned the most painful and traumatic period of my life into something positive. Every time I hear from someone that reading my blog helped them leave their abuser or heal from abuse my passion for it grows. I will keep speaking out about narcissists and domestic abuse till I take my final breath or when I am no longer helping anyone. I love to learn and I love to read and I guess I have a talent for writing; I have always wondered what my purpose in life was and I believe I have found it.
- How does your work differ from others in your genre?
I think I am different from a lot of other people writing blogs, specifically blogs about narcissists because I do write from the heart, I allow myself to be vulnerable and I am embarrassingly honest sometimes and I think it puts people at ease. They know they aren’t crazy, there is someone out there that made every mistake you can make when dealing with a narcissist, I was lousy at no contact, I was broken in a million pieces and I spilled my guts. I don’t just preach the “rules” of healing or facts and stats, I share intimate details of my relationship with a narcissist and not every blogger who writes about narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths does that. I think people feel like we are sitting in a living room somewhere chatting, not that they are getting a “lesson”.