Paula Asked So I Did It!

I was asked by my friend Paula to participate in some sort of Blogging Tour and to answer 4 questions, which you will find at the end of the post. Like the title says, Paula asked so I did it. Paula has been a wonderful friend through out my blogging “career”, we started our blogs about the same time and bonded over the net. She has been a constant supporter going so far as to send me a spare laptop she had when mine broke a few years ago. My how time flies. If not for Paula I would not even be here! Love and hugs to you Paula!!

So this post is for Paula and here are the questions and answers.

  1. How does your writing/creative process work?

I haven’t really thought about it, I didn’t think I had a process, I just write. But now thinking about it; an idea usually comes to me while I am walking my dog Stella or while driving, you know? those times when your mind wanders. When I think of a post I want to write I try to sit down and at least get a start on it, but usually if I sit down to write a post I finish it because once it starts to flow I can’t shut it off. If it doesn’t flow easily I will save it to drafts and from there 90%of the time it gets deleted.

I have found that the posts that come from deep inside me, the ones where I hesitate to hit the “Publish” button because I feel it is too raw, emotional, or honest; are the posts that I get the most positive reactions from the readers.

Once I get a topic I want to write about, I type it just like I was talking to someone and I don’t edit it at all or even proof read it before I hit publish, if I think about it too much I start to fill with self doubt and end up changing it or deleting it. Once it is posted I go immediately to the actual post and read it, then go back and fix spelling mistakes.

  1. What are you working on at the moment?

I am struggling with trying to compile posts from my blog into a book. It is a huge job and overwhelming. I want to break it down into a series of books; I would like to write a daily inspirational journal, one with real letters from victims and my reply to them and how it eventually turned out for them, if I know. And of course I want to write about my 10 years with my ex; that is the one I am working on right now.

  1. Why do you write or create what you do?

I have never considered myself to be a writer. I used to write when I was in school but quit when my dad found some of my stuff and read it out loud to the family and laughed. I didn’t write again until I left my ex and started my blog. At first I wrote pretty generic posts about my everyday life, I had no support system and I needed someone to care, anyone! I had some bad days and wrote about them and people started following me and like I said earlier, the more honest and vulnerable I was the more people liked what I wrote.

Somewhere along the way someone said I was an inspiration, which blew me away and then people started asking advice and before I knew it I was giving support and advice, researching if I didn’t have the answer. Now I write mainly to give victims answers, support and hope. It is very gratifying to know that I turned the most painful and traumatic period of my life into something positive. Every time I hear from someone that reading my blog helped them leave their abuser or heal from abuse my passion for it grows. I will keep speaking out about narcissists and domestic abuse till I take my final breath or when I am no longer helping anyone. I love to learn and I love to read and I guess I have a talent for writing; I have always wondered what my purpose in life was and I believe I have found it.

  1. How does your work differ from others in your genre?

I think I am different from a lot of other people writing blogs, specifically blogs about narcissists because I do write from the heart, I allow myself to be vulnerable and I am embarrassingly honest sometimes and I think it puts people at ease. They know they aren’t crazy, there is someone out there that made every mistake you can make when dealing with a narcissist, I was lousy at no contact, I was broken in a million pieces and I spilled my guts. I don’t just preach the “rules” of healing or facts and stats, I share intimate details of my relationship with a narcissist and not every blogger who writes about narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths does that. I think people feel like we are sitting in a living room somewhere chatting, not that they are getting a “lesson”.

13 thoughts on “Paula Asked So I Did It!

  1. Pingback: Your next stop on The Great Sociopathic Abuse and Recovery Blog Tour! | Love—Life—OM

  2. Paula

    Carrie, You’re awesome! I’m a believer that we can change and transform our lives with affirmations and shifting our self-talk. You ARE an inspiration. You ARE an excellent writer and communicator. You ARE putting your blog into a book. You ARE helping so many people heal!

    Now shift those sentences and read them back to yourself:

    “I am an inspiration.”
    “I am an excellent writer and communicator.”
    “I am putting my blog into a book.”
    “I am helping people heal.”

    Affirm what you want in the here and now. Repeat these affirmations to yourself daily, hourly, by-the-minute. You are worthy. You deserve joy and peace.

    ❤ Paula

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      I printed your comment Paula and am going to tape it somewhere I will be reminded to tell myself those things. Did you happen to listen to the interview? I would like your honest opinion. You have done that sort of thing before.
      Thank you so much for the positive energy. you know I love you and think you are awesome!


  3. ceeceefrance

    Writing about my experiences is helping me. I love reading your posts because you are so open and, like you, I hope that by sharing what’s happened to me I might help others who find themselves in a similar situation. I’m in the UK just now after I was forced from my home in France where my ex now lives with his new ‘love’ interest. People tell me I should be very careful what I write as it may rebound and cause problems for me. I thank them for their concern and write it anyway. I never knew that such people as P/N/S existed in such numbers. Anything we can do to make others aware of the dangers must surely be a good thing.
    I thank you for your honesty, Carrie. We should never be afraid to tell the truth.
    Celia xx


    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      Celia, thank you. i agree with you. Your friends are right it could cause problems for you and put you in danger, I know it has with me. That is why so many victims keep silent because they just don’t want any trouble from the N so they go away and quietly lick their wounds. The narc counts on it, they have beaten you down so badly they are sure you will just go away and wait for them to grace you with their presence again some day and you will be so happy to have them back.
      once I got away from James I knew I was never protecting him again and I needed to speak out. He has tried to shut me up but whether it is in my best interest or not I can’t do it. I think it is partly because I refuse to have him intimidate me ever again, partly because I truly want to help people and partly (especially in the beginning) it was therapeutic for me to write to get it out and heal, and to be honest I wanted to have this info out there if a woman ever went looking for stuff on James. Of course she would have to know my name and i know his present woman knows that. I wanted the next one to have some clue what was happening to her and for her to know she was not alone or crazy.
      Even with all the trouble it caused me when James found my blog I have no regrets. The positives outweigh the negatives by far.
      thank you for your comment and for sharing your story and joining the growing numbers who will not be silenced any more. We will change the world.


  4. safirefalcon

    #4…That is exactly how I feel when reading your posts and when we correspond back and forth in comments much of the time.

    I started reading you after my entanglement (relationship) was over already. And I was lucky enough to have HIM be the one to walk. Of course I didn’t think of it as lucky then. However, your blog has helped me immensely in a variety of ways.

    Thank you.


    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      Safire, i also feel that way when we “chat” on here. We view many things the same way and I always appreciate the way you call a spade a spade. I think if we ever got together off line we would talk all night and have coffee watching the sun come up and still be talking. LOL

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      And then there is Davey, my faithful “reblogger” I remember when I was going to shut down the blog and you said that if I kept it open you would reblog every post I did. I don’t think you have missed one!
      Thank you

      Liked by 1 person


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