When Are You The Target Of A Narcissist – Revenge of The Narcissist

When can you relax and stop worrying about the narcissist see revenge? Statistics say that the most domestic homicides happen within two years of the relationship ending, either just prior to or within two years after. That does not mean it can’t happen 5 years or 10 years later, some victims never totally relax and let their guard down and lets face it. If someone wants to get you that badly and they are smart enough, they will find a way and won’t mind waiting.

Not all narcissists or psychopaths are murderers and just because they didn’t kill previous domestic partners doesn’t mean they won’t kill some day. I guess it depends on how vindictive the narcissist is and if he/she thinks they can get away with it.

I haven’t been talking about my personal life on the blog lately, a change I made a few weeks back because I realized that James was not reading my blog to read about himself, he was reading it to get info on me and what I was doing. I really  believe he is bond and determined to do everything within his power to prevent me from having anything good in my life. He is a tricky little bugger, I have experienced being stalked by him (something he totally denied but my son was with me and we both witnessed it) I know how vindictive he is and how long he can carry a grudge.

Anyway, a while back, after the drone, I had all my curtains closed, it was about 9 in the morning and I heard honking outside, I ignored it for the longest time and finally got up and looked out the window. Right across from the boat was a silverish coloured Pilot, exactly like what Marisa had when she met James and as far as I know it is what they still drive. I couldn’t see the driver but they weren’t honking at anyone else and waved when I looked out the window. I quickly pulled the curtain and they drove away. I don’t know anyone else that has a vehicle like that but I didn’t jump to conclusions and besides, even if it was him; what could he do? he would be just trying to make me paranoid, right?

I have not seen it since. Then three days ago I heard a Harley and looked up, it had taken the far side of the road and all I could see was the top of the helmet. Then I heard it turn around and come back my way. You see the marina is at the end of a dead end street and if you turn left or right you will come to another dead end. There is only one way in and one way out of the marina, unless you are on a motorcycle or walking. So anyway I was looking out the window when the Harley came past again. The driver was looking straight ahead but turned to look in my direction when he got alongside my boat, as soon as he saw I was looking he looked straight ahead and sped up. With the helmet on I can not be sure what the driver looked like but I do know what James’s Harley looks like. it is the only one like it I have ever seen, the gas tank has a design of bright orange that fades into black and so did this one. The tide was out so my boat was sitting below the road level and I couldn’t see where he went from there but from the sound I believe it left the marina.  I took Stella for a walk and could not see the bike parked anywhere in the marina.

Yesterday I was walking Stella along the dyke (to my left when I leave my boat, it is a shorter distance to the grassy area) There is a a bit of a gate entering the grassy area at my end and at the other end another gate but both have enough room to walk around them and if a motorcycle was careful they could get around also. The dyke we were on is also accessible from the main road and cars park down there all the time. Stella and I walked down there and I could see a car and a truck parked at the end of the road and noticed it was a guy and a girl kissing and making out. I was guessing they were having an affair, being each in their own vehicle and the way they kissed good bye. She left and the truck sat for a bit, Stella had wandered over there and I was watching where she had gone and calling her because I didn’t want her getting under the wheels of the truck. She had just started in my direction when I heard a Harley and the same Harley I saw the other day came into view and looked like it was going to come up on the dyke but at the last minute pulled away and was gone. When I got home I decided to do a little sleuthing to see if I could find a pic of it or some indication if he still has it or not. I didn’t find anything on the bike but I found something else that snagged my attention.

targets

You can see the pic was taken in March 2014, so it is not a recent pic. It is a picture of the kitchen renos they were doing on the house they bought last year. What I didn’t notice at first and later went back to check on was what is sitting on the counter in the foreground of the photo above the stove. Targets.  Now, I know that they live right next door to the rifle range and I know he had guns in the past, before my time but never when we were together.  But I have to say it gave me cause to pause and reason to post it here.

I am not going to go running to the police, too much time has passed since we split and I am sure he has had his record sealed by now. There is nothing the police can do now and as far as I know he doesn’t even live here, they would think I am being paranoid. Plus there is no reason why he can not be in the area, it’s a free world. I am not going to lose sleep over it either, BUT when I leave here I won’t be saying where I am going and if I should happen to get shot in the meantime I want a record of this somewhere the police would look for suspects and that would be my blog. And if James does read my blog, he knows that I know he has a gun and now the whole world knows he has a gun and has been practicing.

Aside from that, everything is going along as usual, still fighting to get my money from the government, they are not done investigating me. Still looking for work and trying to get funded for school. But it has all been put on slow mo because of all the fires we have burning in BC and the smoke in the air. The air quality has been dangerously badly and anyone with a heart condition is advised to stay indoors and reduce their activity. I have been very tired and been having pains in my shoulder and neck; both signs that my heart is stressed; so I have been taking a lot of naps and not doing much of anything. I can only be on the computer for so long because of my bad neck so have to take frequent breaks at the best of times. We haven’t had rain in weeks and things are getting critical with wild fires popping up everywhere. The smoke is so thick you can’t see the sun or the bridge, just thick pea soup smoke and it is stifling hot and humid. At least I live on the water, I won’t burn up!!

A yacht salesman was here today to look at the boat. nothing new to report there either.

Now I am going to delivery some papers to welfare before rush hour traffic starts.

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24 thoughts on “When Are You The Target Of A Narcissist – Revenge of The Narcissist

  1. Ellen Bulnes

    Be careful, I worked for the court system before I work where i work now. Have seen it all, my profession is in the legal profession. Its took me another 18 months getting the law involved for him to stop stalking me and harassing me! This is after I went NO CONTACT, news years 2012!

    Never underestimate these asshole scum, maybe the woman he is with got rid of him and he thinks he can come back? Maybe he is just covertly harassing you, God Knows.

    Boy I hate them all, it was never about Love, control, abuse and usery!

    F him, live your life, as I do he come near me, he will go to JAIL!

    what a piece of shit!

    HUGS BE CAREFUL,

    HUGS AND BLESSINGS!

    Ellen

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    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      Ellen, you are so right!! and smart! I did things all wrong and hope people learn from my mistakes. I didn’t report the abuse, well I did at first but the cops were so useless and he had them all eating out of his hand. It was a regular old boys club! i just gave up trying. Even the abuse hotline was useless.
      But in the later years I should have been more diligent about keeping records and reporting stuff to the police. I really didn’t think he would ever hate me that much. I thought he would eventually just move along and harass someone else. I should have reported the stuff he pulled a couple of years ago but I didn’t know how to prove it. How do you prove it was him to put a tracking device on my vehicle?
      He is very smart, even the taking a different vehicle every time he cruises past, knowing I might have people looking out for me. That is what makes him scary, he is highly intelligent and always covers his tracks and makes sure to have an alibi.
      There were times he would have me come along with him or make sure I remembered something and it would give me a funny feeling, like he was up to something and then later he would be accused of stealing for something and I would be his alibi. Like his semi and trailer got repossessed. He moved the trailer to a location for them to pick it up, he used his semi to move it but wanted me to drive behind him. I thought he was going to leave the truck and trailer and needed a ride home but he dropped the trailer and drove the semi home. It made no sense to me, then why did he want me along? and why wouldn’t he leave them together for them to pick up? But I didn’t question him on it. He called the guy who was coming for the trailer and I heard him give the guy directions to where it was. A couple of days later he gets a call saying the trailer wasn’t there when they went to get it. Guess what, I was his witness that he dropped it off. I immediately thought, “He had it stolen or he went back and stole it in the middle of the night or something. and that is why he kept the truck.”
      He said to me, “You were with me when I dropped it off.” and I thought yeah but I wasn’t with you when you picked it up.
      Months later, after we are split he calls me and says he has a bunch of scrap metal for me where he works. I said I could come the next day and he said it was a big frame cut in pieces and he will need a forklift to load me and says it will have to be after hours. I questioned him further and it turns out the scrap is not at his work, it is down the road and he has to drive the bosses forklift down the road to get there. I told him I didn’t think it was a good idea, that I was sure it was all legit but it looked pretty suspicious and I really didn’t want to work “after hours”. He said Yeah maybe you are right and said never mind. Shortly after that he was fired for stealing from the company. No surprise, he was always falsely accused of stealing.
      A year or so later I found a blog he had and read back, he wrote in his blog that things at work had been getting progressively worse since the trailer surfaced. He doesn’t elaborate but I figure he did something illegal that night and tried to get me involved as his accomplice.
      some of the stuff I found out about years later and I am sure there is stuff that I would die if I knew the truth. I have found that I don’t always want to know the truth and there are things I don’t need to know. it makes me sick to think of the shit he has pulled and I was blinded by love.
      Oh well, I am not blind now and I am not going to lose sleep over it but I am not ignoring it either. Thanks for your input Ellen
      Hugs

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  2. kim

    carrie it is so hard for me impossible to relax they get so frustrated when you wont involve them in your life mine is all mouth but i know he goes past my flat and looks on my email keeping his eye ive recently again told him not to contact me i feel so on edge cant relax or sleep feel like he might contact again i just want to be left to heal he did leave me afterall the worry is when things dont go so well for them they turn their attention to us yours sounds more physical threat it sounds like hes harrassing you just an idea maybe carry a camera with you if you see the bike again take a photo or of the car for evidence if needed please stay safe you have fires that is scary we dont think of that here its gone cooler and yep rain its england always rain oh well sounds like you need some stella must help you feel safe its good to have a dog its so hard to feel safe with them around they are so invasive in a creepy maniplative way i do wish you well carrie with everything please be careful stay safe xxx

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    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      Kim, thank you. the victim does end up having a feeling of impending doom after leaving the narcissist because while in the relationship you never knew what would set him off or what to expect. you are always on high alert and it takes awhile for your mind to get out of that mode. It does get less and less the longer you are away from them. I had a horrible sense of something bad was going to happen for a long time and then it would only happen when I saw him or he made contact in some way; then i would wait for the other shoe to drop and it always seem to immediately after he makes some appearance.
      With time, you will heal and contact from him will not affect you in the same way. Knowing how they are he could pop up 10 years from now but if he does you will be so much stronger and it won’t have the same effect. Even now with james I am not reacting like i would have 4 years ago. I get a pit in my stomach because I know he is capable of anything but I don’t lose sleep, have nightmares, or become nervous and edgy.
      We all have to be vigilant about our safety, it is the world today; whether we were involved with a narcissist or not. I used to be far too lax in my personal safety and i am much more aware now, which is a good thing.
      I will be posting in a day or two with an update, thanks so much for your concern!
      hugs

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      1. kim

        im glad you are alright carrie thankyou for your wise words i hope one day i can relax a bit more im working on it just hope he stays away anyway i know youre having tough time but pleased you are safe and are being careful they treat us like prey it is about not giving them control again mine was dodgy in that he got me to sign things i never questioned i trusted him found out he forged my dads signature for something cant trust them good luck carrie xxx

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  3. Jen

    For mine, holidays are his thing. There have been 6 holidays (including Mother’s and Father’s Day since going No Contact 5 months ago and he has contacted me in some way on each of those holidays. I am just going with the expectation this will continue for years to come. I am the only ex I am aware of that has refused to keep in contact with him and unfortunately, that makes me more of a target than if I stayed in contact. But for me, I am still in control here. But you are very right, Carrie, to encourage people to be vigilant and aware of what is happening around them. The N has already done things I wouldn’t have guessed he would do and so I don’t put limitations on what he could be capable of anymore. This is probably the worst part of it all for me. I chose the wrong guy and will most likely pay for it the rest of my life, one one form or another.

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    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      Jen, that is the real kicker with these guys. It is bad enough that they treat you like shit when you are with them, but then they don’t leave you alone forever more. It’s like herpes or something, it keeps coming back trying to reinfect you.

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  4. threekidsandi

    You go, girl. Just FYI for your audience, the average age for honor killings are ages 18 AND 36.
    Another FYI, if you will bear with me, is that US citizens can get into state sponsored witness protection programs that conceal your home address- on everything. More states are adding this sort of program all the time, the last I checked it was available in 18 states. Contact your local DV advocates for information on how to enter your state’s program or on what states currently offer Safe At Home or something similar.
    I hope Canada has something like this, and if not, adopts it soon.
    Don’t give up hope! Stay observant! Keep looking for resources!

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    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      threekidsandi, thanks for the info!! good to know! I am pretty sure we don’t have anything like that in Canada. The only people to get something like that are witnesses to gang crimes or if someone tries to kill you and fails but even then I have only ever heard of one person who actually got protection and sent to another town. And they ended up coming back because they knew no one where they were and were lonely without a job. They came back after the person was in charged and in jail.
      half the time they don’t even notify the victim when the person is released from jail. And up here a person can have their record sealed, it costs over $600 but once it is sealed it doesn’t show anything except child abuse and rape or murder. Any other crimes or interactions with the police are sealed. So like in James’s case, (he wanted me to have my record sealed and I refused, I had no need but his name would show up on my record because of domestic abuse calls to the police) I am sure he has sealed his record so there would be no they would even know that he has a history of domestic abuse or violence, he can get a gun license, etc.
      I really disagree with that! they should be able to look back and see that he has a history of abuse if they are ever called in the future with a domestic abuse claim so they know this is not a one time deal.
      It is not admissible in court either that he has a history of abuse, which is ludacris, laws need to change.
      Abuse victims really are on their own in many ways if they want to stay safe.

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  5. So Sad

    Hi Carrie , the paranoia you talk about effects us all , but is it paranoia ? with me it’s anything related to computers or the internet , I know for sure he’s still cyber stalking me as recently as last Saturday even though he’s allegedly found the woman of his dreams ( as they do ! ) , what I’m saying is trust your instincts on this, if it turns out to be nothing then great , but don’t automatically assume that its just you . You’re under an awful lot of stress but I think you should get those pains checked out if you can , and I really hope you can get the welfare sorted soon .
    Stay safe lovely lady xx

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    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      So sad, you be careful also!! these wacko’s are predictably unpredictable. it’s like “Get a life already!!”
      Thank you so much for your kind words. and sharing.
      hugs

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  6. Only Me

    I’m sorry Carrie for troubles you are continuing to experience. From how you’ve described James, I don’t doubt that that he is cable of anything!

    Compared to most victims of narcissists and psychos, I’m pretty fortunate. My ex was a very cowardly covert cerebral psychopath. He wants other people to fight his battles for him. He’s a weakling, and wouldn’t have the cajones to come at me. I know how these guys roll.

    Not to mention that we live nearly 2723 kilometers or 1692 miles or 1471 nautical miles apart. I’m just not that a convenient target for him! He seems satisfied with his OW too. Plus he’s old and has health problems. If he ever wants at me, he knows where I live. But I’m not worried!

    Yours, is what they a malignant narcissist (to put it mildly!). He seems more like a sociopath to me. If he was my ex, I’d be scared too! You are wise to take precautions to protect yourself as best you can! I wouldn’t want him to know where I was either! I do pray and worry about your safety Carrie! Hope you and Stella are eating regularly, and you are getting your meds okay.

    Do take care of yourself, and I send much love and good wishes your way! Hope the investigation concludes in your favor very soon! Hugs, OM.

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  7. TikkTok

    I think you have cause. Document, document, document. Get pictures and the license number of the motorcycle. If you can prove that its either one of them, you can get a restraining order. There has got to be something you can do about a stalker.

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    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      Tikk, of anyone here you know a victim has to remain vigilant. You did try to warn me in the beginning, you and Mystery Coach. I just didn’t believe he would carry on for 5 years. I under estimated him all whole 10 years while with him and the last 5 years. I just don’t want to deal with him any more but I guess I don’t have much option. I am going to call the police and see if there is anything I can do and if for nothing else, if something does happen to me they know where to look. Damned if I am going to let him get away with murder.
      Thanks Tikk, nice to see you again!

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      1. TikkTok

        That’s really about all you can do at this point, Carrie. Your blog is important, of course, but I can’t help wondering at times if it’s really kind of ‘poking the bear,’ so to speak. Be safe! :/

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        1. Carrie Reimer Post author

          Believe me Tikk, I think about shutting it down every single day. To be honest I don’t know if I can recover from this one. I only keep fighting because I owe it to my son. it has been a rough few days. No money, no food, and everyone telling me to stay positive, they will be back from holidays in a week. haha yeah ok. have a nice holiday!
          it is not just James. it is the whole government system, people not doing their jobs, twice i was told I was denied for funding and when I questioned it I was told “OH no!! you were so close to being approved, you were like an hours work away.” wtf?? I should be graduating from school in a month and i am still waiting and now with being cut off i won’t qualify. I should have been approved for disability and an advocate is going to fight it, when she gets back from holidays.
          i don’t have a week. i get so frustrated when people hold your whole future in their hands and they just don’t give a shit.
          If not for the people on this blog and their donations I would have been sunk long ago, knowing that i am helping people and that people care about me is what gets me through so many days. But of course that would piss James off to no end. I think the only way i will ever be free of him is if i change my name and start a whole new life.

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  8. cjhouser

    Carrie, I have been thinking about you lately and was wondering how you were doing. Please document and tell family and friends what you are seeing. Document everything…I am keeping you in my prayers. I feel God is watching over you…
    Jean

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    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      Jean, thank you so much. I think god is looking out for me also, he has in the past and will again. no matter what James did in the past somehow I survived and was not terribly adversely affected, I trust God will continue to protect me. I just have to remain aware and take precautions. I feel bad for my family because they just want it all to go away and life to be normal. my mom prefers her head firmly planted in the ground and this kind of thing is not something she wants to hear or acknowledge but I am keeping notes and will make sure the proper authorities know.
      hugs

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