When can you relax and stop worrying about the narcissist see revenge? Statistics say that the most domestic homicides happen within two years of the relationship ending, either just prior to or within two years after. That does not mean it can’t happen 5 years or 10 years later, some victims never totally relax and let their guard down and lets face it. If someone wants to get you that badly and they are smart enough, they will find a way and won’t mind waiting.
Not all narcissists or psychopaths are murderers and just because they didn’t kill previous domestic partners doesn’t mean they won’t kill some day. I guess it depends on how vindictive the narcissist is and if he/she thinks they can get away with it.
I haven’t been talking about my personal life on the blog lately, a change I made a few weeks back because I realized that James was not reading my blog to read about himself, he was reading it to get info on me and what I was doing. I really believe he is bond and determined to do everything within his power to prevent me from having anything good in my life. He is a tricky little bugger, I have experienced being stalked by him (something he totally denied but my son was with me and we both witnessed it) I know how vindictive he is and how long he can carry a grudge.
Anyway, a while back, after the drone, I had all my curtains closed, it was about 9 in the morning and I heard honking outside, I ignored it for the longest time and finally got up and looked out the window. Right across from the boat was a silverish coloured Pilot, exactly like what Marisa had when she met James and as far as I know it is what they still drive. I couldn’t see the driver but they weren’t honking at anyone else and waved when I looked out the window. I quickly pulled the curtain and they drove away. I don’t know anyone else that has a vehicle like that but I didn’t jump to conclusions and besides, even if it was him; what could he do? he would be just trying to make me paranoid, right?
I have not seen it since. Then three days ago I heard a Harley and looked up, it had taken the far side of the road and all I could see was the top of the helmet. Then I heard it turn around and come back my way. You see the marina is at the end of a dead end street and if you turn left or right you will come to another dead end. There is only one way in and one way out of the marina, unless you are on a motorcycle or walking. So anyway I was looking out the window when the Harley came past again. The driver was looking straight ahead but turned to look in my direction when he got alongside my boat, as soon as he saw I was looking he looked straight ahead and sped up. With the helmet on I can not be sure what the driver looked like but I do know what James’s Harley looks like. it is the only one like it I have ever seen, the gas tank has a design of bright orange that fades into black and so did this one. The tide was out so my boat was sitting below the road level and I couldn’t see where he went from there but from the sound I believe it left the marina. I took Stella for a walk and could not see the bike parked anywhere in the marina.
Yesterday I was walking Stella along the dyke (to my left when I leave my boat, it is a shorter distance to the grassy area) There is a a bit of a gate entering the grassy area at my end and at the other end another gate but both have enough room to walk around them and if a motorcycle was careful they could get around also. The dyke we were on is also accessible from the main road and cars park down there all the time. Stella and I walked down there and I could see a car and a truck parked at the end of the road and noticed it was a guy and a girl kissing and making out. I was guessing they were having an affair, being each in their own vehicle and the way they kissed good bye. She left and the truck sat for a bit, Stella had wandered over there and I was watching where she had gone and calling her because I didn’t want her getting under the wheels of the truck. She had just started in my direction when I heard a Harley and the same Harley I saw the other day came into view and looked like it was going to come up on the dyke but at the last minute pulled away and was gone. When I got home I decided to do a little sleuthing to see if I could find a pic of it or some indication if he still has it or not. I didn’t find anything on the bike but I found something else that snagged my attention.
You can see the pic was taken in March 2014, so it is not a recent pic. It is a picture of the kitchen renos they were doing on the house they bought last year. What I didn’t notice at first and later went back to check on was what is sitting on the counter in the foreground of the photo above the stove. Targets. Now, I know that they live right next door to the rifle range and I know he had guns in the past, before my time but never when we were together. But I have to say it gave me cause to pause and reason to post it here.
I am not going to go running to the police, too much time has passed since we split and I am sure he has had his record sealed by now. There is nothing the police can do now and as far as I know he doesn’t even live here, they would think I am being paranoid. Plus there is no reason why he can not be in the area, it’s a free world. I am not going to lose sleep over it either, BUT when I leave here I won’t be saying where I am going and if I should happen to get shot in the meantime I want a record of this somewhere the police would look for suspects and that would be my blog. And if James does read my blog, he knows that I know he has a gun and now the whole world knows he has a gun and has been practicing.
Aside from that, everything is going along as usual, still fighting to get my money from the government, they are not done investigating me. Still looking for work and trying to get funded for school. But it has all been put on slow mo because of all the fires we have burning in BC and the smoke in the air. The air quality has been dangerously badly and anyone with a heart condition is advised to stay indoors and reduce their activity. I have been very tired and been having pains in my shoulder and neck; both signs that my heart is stressed; so I have been taking a lot of naps and not doing much of anything. I can only be on the computer for so long because of my bad neck so have to take frequent breaks at the best of times. We haven’t had rain in weeks and things are getting critical with wild fires popping up everywhere. The smoke is so thick you can’t see the sun or the bridge, just thick pea soup smoke and it is stifling hot and humid. At least I live on the water, I won’t burn up!!
A yacht salesman was here today to look at the boat. nothing new to report there either.
Now I am going to delivery some papers to welfare before rush hour traffic starts.