I sound like a broken record saying “Scott Really Nailed it in this post” but he did damnit!! One of his best I think and one that many of you can use right now because you are moarning the loss of your innocence. It’s ok to moarn (am I spelling that right? my spell check says no but the other way is like “day break” and I am meaning like funeral, the death of a dream, a future you were counting on). I wish I could have told myself where I was going to be in 5 years when I wanted to die and when I didn’t think I could make it a day without talking to “him”. But had I known what those 5 years were going to hold I probably would have chickened out. I look back on my life now and wouldn’t change a thing. nothing, because it brought me here and made me who I am; a work in progress. As are you!
I remember a moment captured in time. I was making breakfast at my restaurant, The Bad Dog Grill, and I realized I hated my life. It was 7:30 am and I wanted a beer. If I cut my hand one more time, maybe I can go home today. I just knew I would never get out of that kitchen. Then one day I was.
I have spoken with people in prison, or doing time in a bad relationship, who have been convinced I was wrong. This hell is never going to end. I will never meet someone who loves me. I will never want to live again. I can never move on from this. Then you do, though rarely like on television. We sincerely need to have a conversation some time about what recovery really looks like. God never sent me a thunderbolt and one day I didn’t wake up fixed…
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