Finding Friendship and Love: Overcoming Lack of Faith and Trust After Domestic Violence

Another one from Amy (sweetmarie) of Picking Up the Pieces. This one relates to my post of the other day, about when is it safe to start dating again. She basically says the same thing I did, it is not how long before you date but what you do in between times and HOW you start dating when you do. Only from the perspective of someone who has.

Picking Up the Pieces

A struggle common to many survivors of domestic violence is reconciling the violation and betrayal of our most basic needs as an intimate partner in a manner that allows us to form an appropriate separation and distinction between the abuser in the past and those worthy of our love who shall come in the future.  We can be hard-pressed to not find ourselves occasionally glancing back into the past, trying to use our negative experience as a compass to help us navigate our present.  Unfortunately, even as we find ourselves doing this, we may not realize that doing so without making a definitive separation between the actions of those who abused us and those of friends in the present can allow barriers to honest relationships to flourish, resulting in further loneliness.  Further, we don’t always realize that we are unfairly judging those in our lives now by associating harmless and / or unintentional things they do and…

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2 thoughts on “Finding Friendship and Love: Overcoming Lack of Faith and Trust After Domestic Violence

  1. So thrue again. Carrie, I think you know my story. I am out of my narcistisc relationship for two years. Only when I really blocked everything, I started thinking of him a lot less. Untill there, there were days I discovered, I didn’t think of him a whole day. How can you ever forget a relationship of 31 years? I started dating again and in the last few weeks, I met a couple of men. Only talking about themselves, what they want from me, don’t want to spend any money etc. In one hour, I hate to say, mostly in ten minutes I knew, this is not for me. Just a few weeks ago I met a guy, who is really sweet and understanding. i am taking my time. Don’t rush anything. Hugs, Elisabeth

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