Law Of Attraction Is Powerful – Don’t Make The Same Mistake I Did

ice and fireBe careful what you think about, it just might manifest itself! and when I say “mistake” I am not saying I am sorry it turned out the way it did really, I just would have worked more on improving MY life and not thought about him at all. But what is done is done and I shall pass it along in hopes you learn from my err of judgment.

This post is about how I accidentally manifested the other woman for my then narcissistic partner.

I didn’t know I was doing it, manifesting I mean; I was actually trying to make myself feel better. Telling myself that it would impossible for my ex to ever find the type of woman he needed to be happy.

After years of never jumping high enough, dancing fast enough, giving enough blow jobs, always being told I created drama and we all know how much the narcissist hates conflict! Him sabotaging my jobs yet going on rants and rages about how much money I was costing him. Sabotaging my truck and then complaining bitterly about having to rescue me when my truck broke down. Him literally refusing to buy food and me having to eat porridge for a week while he ate out everyday and brought take out home for himself or handed me a take out container with the left overs of his burger in it and expect me to be thankful that he “bought me supper”. No, you just handed me your garbage, I would rather starve than eat your soggy French fries. Then we would finally get groceries and I would make supper and he would go on and on about how it was about time I cooked a decent meal!

When he would go on one of his rants about how ungrateful I was and it was “over” he had had enough of “this” I would console myself with thoughts of exactly what kind of woman would make him happy.

For one thing she would have to have enough money to keep him in the life style he wanted to live and carry him whenever he got fired, which was every few months BUT she would have to be independently wealthy because he would not want her working. He was younger than me, so only 45 at the time, not so easy to find a financially independent woman at that age who doesn’t need to work.

But even if he did manage to find one she had better not have children because he would not like sharing her attention with kids and there really should not be an ex husband either because that would just be one more person occupying her time. While we are at it, it would be best if she didn’t have pets either because James always bitched that I loved Kato (my dog) more than him, and cooked the dog better meals. (I knew the dog would be home for supper.)

She would have to have been raised by wolves or in a convent because she would have to be very naïve and gullible to put up with the 2nd On-line life he led. She could not be an independent strong woman, which is getting harder to find these days; she would have to be a woman who loved to cater to a man and put herself last and she would have to not have any needs, desires, or dreams of her own and live only to please him.
By the time I would go through the whole list of prerequisites any woman would have to possess to be with him I was confident;  he would never find a woman better than me.

I spent a lot of time thinking about this imaginary woman and by the time I left him I was fairly confident he would not be finding a woman to take my place any time soon. After all, he had been fired for stealing again, owned nothing, not a stick of furniture, nothing. Did not have a dime and drove an old car with a broken windshield that was actually in MY name.  He was a slob who showered rarely and always looked like he rolled in something that didn’t smell good. Who would want him? Why did I want him? I didn’t, I told myself. He will regret the day he lost me, I was sure of that. No other woman would put up with what I had, no woman!!

Quite by accident one day while searching the net to see if he had posted those videos he had secretly taped of us having sex, I came across his blog. He even stated in his blog that he was going to pick 10 women on Plenty Of Fish and by process of elimination narrow it down to 2 or 3 and then see which one worked the hardest to get him. How cocky of him!! I still consoled myself with thoughts of the this nonexistence woman he would have to find to be happy.

He wrote about these women who took him out for supper and then went home with him and screwed his brains out. What was wrong with these women? Did they have no pride? But they all worked, they had kids, they had ex husbands.

I hate to admit it but I was still seeing him at least once a week, not having sex with him and not allowing him to come to where I lived but seeing him none the less. We had been for dinner one night (yes I bought him dinner at our favorite Chinese restaurant, shoot me!) he was very loving and walked me to my truck, kissed me good night and said he loved me. He was supposed to be leaving the province in a week or two for a job and I was looking forward to him being out of sight out of mind.

The next day the police called to see if I knew where my car was because it was parked on the corner of such a such street with the keys in it. The cop told me he had seen it parked there many times and they were not going to tow it, they just wanted to make sure I knew where it was. Strange.

I went up and discovered he was seeing a married woman, long story short I almost drove over him with my truck but got my wits about me in time. I was shattered again. The next day he took great pleasure in telling me that he had moved in with the “love of his life” and it was not the married woman. He had left her house and driven straight to another woman’s house and broke down in her driveway and was now living there.

He could barely contain his glee as he told me all about her. First thing he said was, “She’s a widow.” Well no, that is not the very first thing he said. he started the conversation by saying he was now semi-retired. THEN he said she was a widow, and the exact same age as him, their birthdays were 2 weeks apart. He went on, she owned her home, rented out the top half and living in the bottom half. He was driving her brand new Honda Pilot, she owned holiday property on a west coast island, she didn’t have children, didn’t have pets, had never worked and always been a house wife, she had a very sheltered upbringing and was very naïve. When he was late she cooked supper and left it wrapped in cellophane on the counter for him. She was frugal and still owned her first set of pots and pans (like I give a damn!)

As he listed off all her qualities like listing off the features of a home you want to buy, 3 bedrooms, 2 and 1/2 baths and easy to maintain, move in ready!

And that is what he did, she got a ride to his place (he was driving her Pilot so had to get her niece to drive her) and packed him up, cleaned the place and moved him in within the first week. Within the first 6 weeks she had lent him $20,000 and he was talking about how HIS shop at the house was too small and he wanted to move. By the 2nd year she had sold her house, bought a home 9 hours drive from all her friends and family  and he had bought a truck, Harley, 10 ton truck, semi, and God only knows how many guitars. She is not the most attractive woman and I am sure he has made her feel damn lucky to have a good looking rebel without a cause like him.

And he has me to thank for it all. I manifested the whole damn thing!! SO, if you are sitting there obsessing about how happy your ex is, how he is doing everything for the new woman that you ever wanted and more! and dwelling how your life sucks and you will never find happiness….. STOP, just stop it right now!!  Quit giving him your power!! If you insist on thinking about him at least envision him treating her as badly as he treated you, picture her waiting at home for a phone call or texting and him not replying. picture her crying and him screaming at her that is he is “Sick of THIS! all you do is cry and create conflict!!” it is much closer to the truth and why attract anything good into his life by thinking about it!

This is you, without the narcissist sucking you dry. hold this thought!
This is you, without the narcissist sucking you dry. hold this thought!

I want you to envision yourself being wined and dined and appreciated by a good intentioned man who respects you. Picture money flowing freely to you from all areas, envision being vibrant, healthy, full of life and laughter. Don’t give up! it won’t be easy at first, you have to work at it until it becomes a habit. You can do this!!!

Even if you don’t believe in the laws of attraction, thinking about him being happy is making you miserable so you have nothing to lose by giving it a try!

Come on, for me, just try it.

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10 thoughts on “Law Of Attraction Is Powerful – Don’t Make The Same Mistake I Did

    • Good article .. I had a really bad night last night full of bad dreams .. I am still trying to recover from my relationship.. it’s been 4 months new now. I’m trying to retrain my thoughts and not spend so much time thinking about him. I’m upset that I’ve had to give up so much.. the loss of my home..dog.. friends and my community. He gave up nothing. I’ve been envisioning him with another woman and it makes it even harder. Now after reading your article tonight I will stop doing that and print out a copy of that picture you have of a woman in a bathtub with money surrounding her drinking a glass of wine. I’m going to have it blown up and stuck to my fridge .
      Thank You Carrie

      Liked by 1 person

  1. That was a really good post honey. Hmm…I don’t think Psycho Boy is nearly as happy as he’d have me believe! Why? He’s always bitching about something. Always unhappy about something, complaining, whining, belly aching! LOL. Hey, for me it’s all good!

    But to me, I find him just plain boring and shallow! Life is too short to be wondering what he’s disturbed, and miserable about now! Does that sound like someone who’s happy? Yet, he lives with her in a much nicer house, with a nicer lifestyle than he ever had on his own, with his now deceased wife, or even what I could ever give him! I think that’s a good thing! You betcha!

    As long as his OW has him, I don’t think he’ll be back knocking on my door if ever! He’s already legally got half ownership of her home, property, business and financial affairs. I kind of feel sorry for her (but I’m grateful to her too!), because like me, I doubt she ever saw him coming, or knew what he was about. So, he was looking for a life of security and comfort. He got it! But why isn’t it enough? LOL.

    Yup! I got off easy, and don’t know you that I know it! Ultimately, so did you! You survived James despite his best efforts to destroy you! You ended up stronger than that rat bastard. Congratulations Lady! You won, and he lost the best woman he ever had! YOU! Big hugs.

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  2. carrie i will make a consious effort not to think about him at all i will think of your words saying stop right now everytime i think about him with other women or in any way just hard to believe 30 yrs was a facade but it was the signs were always there looking back to keep sane i will not see him or have any contact there is a reason why we feel anxious and broken after them hes moving away soon that will make it easier its hard to break the connection but one has to do it you cant heal in any other way they just keep on even if you think you can handle them you find out you cant they beat you down again and again ive had enough great post carrie xxx

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  3. Are you sure his name was James and not Robert? LOL! Your story could have been written by me.

    I know a woman who did what you describe in this article. She made a poster of her on a cruise ship, standing next to a plane ,shopping… She even told huge lies how she was dating a man who had his own plane. Yes, she married a pilot! I don’t know if it’s just a coincidence or what but, it worked for her.

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  4. Great Post Carrie
    yes, this has to be all the same child we have ALL been with.
    My estranged husband-no divorce until December:(…- has had it in for me since I can remember.
    Yes, I have more money left over to pay a car pymnt, Insurance and have gas to place in the car.
    I no longer have to hear him talking to another person late at night, racing around the house to look out a window at “something” as well as closing himself off into the spare room for hours at a time.
    I am NO LONGER SLEEP DEPRIVED.
    I am still ever watchful, but no longer cling to the ceiling when the phone rings; I am self reliant and i am ME …IT”S ALL ABOUT ME now.
    TV

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  5. I would just love to know what I did that was so horrible to deserve this pain… Left 2 months ago. Left my house, my dog, everything in my house (except some clothing, more is still there) and my two young adult boys (17 & 21) because I knew they wouldn’t come with me or understand… they didn’t the first time I tried (and then went back trying to believe it would be different – silly me), so I knew this time would be no different. Two months and my children aren’t speaking to me. That is killing me – not enough to ever go back though… The worst part is I just found out my oldest is joining the military. I’m trying to be okay with it, but it’s hard not having any communication with him to discuss it (so many things to think about and not sure if he thought about all of them). A week ago, the N sent one of his nasty emails and asked me to coparent with him on this. (He feels it would be good for him, which is not entirely untrue.) Seriously? Coparent with him? That involves reasoning & compromise – two traits we all know N’s do not have…Also, if that were the case, I would still be home, happy and be with my kids…. So, I have been doing some research online, and getting info from a relative that is in the Air Force, on the process and info in general. Come to find out (part of this stems from another nasty-mail yesterday from N saying that he could leave as early as next week) that the testing that takes place before my son can actually enlist and leave for basic training, is a very short amount of time. So, what is causing me so much pain is – will he really leave without saying goodbye to me? Will he even tell me where he will be and his address so I can write to him (all that is allowed during basic)? Is this the universe getting back at me for hurting my kids when I left? And what did I do so horrible in the first place that the universe had to send me the N to begin with? If he wasn’t an N, none of this pain would be tearing our family apart. I was always the positive one, always looking for the good in others (always the benefit of the doubt), happy, giving, caring, compassionate, forgiving, kind, helpful, never said no to anything for any of them (and stood up for them against their N father) – and this is what I get in return? I didn’t give to expect anything in return (no one does from their children – unconditional love and I have lots of it), but how does this pain come into the picture? Having a very difficult and emotional week…

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    • heartbroken, did you read the previous post to this one about the laws of attraction and karma and why they never seem to get what they deserve and we are left in the pits of despair? if you haven’t I suggest you do. it could give you some really good insight to what is happening in your life.
      I won’t go into it much here but from what you just wrote in your comment here it sounds to me like you are defending yourself and your choice to leave. We all want our kids to love us and it rips our heart out to think they might not but you do not have to justify your actions to your kids. you have allowed them to tell you what to do and manipulate you just like your husband did and you expected them to love and respect you for it but they don’t.
      It might take a while but eventually they will respect you if you stay strong and true to your convictions and what is best for you. more than they think you should have stayed with your ex they are not liking you standing up for yourself.
      They are not children any more, one of them is an adult and if he thinks the way you were treated was right then I feel sorry for his future wife.
      I am not a therapist or a family counselor, I can only tell you what I would do if they were my sons and how I would handle the ex husband. For one thing I would go no contact with the ex, close your email account so you don’t get the emails any more. What you don’t read can not upset you. Both your son’s are old enough to contact you on their own and I would make sure all three of them know that from now on you will not be communicating through their father to find out how they are.
      I would be very honest about how much you love them, not go on about how great you were and you are “owed” it. just state facts, I am your mom, I have always loved you and always will. I want to be part of your life and I will not just slip away with my head between my legs. I made a choice to leave an unhealthy relationship and I will not be pressured into changing my mind. It is not fair of you to expect that and it is immature. you are grown men, you don’t have to agree with my decision but I would expect that you would still love me. There is nothing you could do to make me stop loving you.
      I am going to keep contacting you boys because I love you and I am concerned for your, you can deal with that as you feel comfortable with, it will hurt me yes but I will survive but I think it is a decision you will regret in years to come. but it is your choice and I may not agree with it but I will still love you.

      I would NOT go into the details of the marriage, what you gave up, the abuse you suffered, none of it because it should have never been their business to begin with. They have been too involved with your personal relationship, your husband put them in the middle and you should not play that game, and trying to ‘win’ their approval is putting the power in their court.

      I know it will be painful if you son leaves without contacting you but I would not let him not contact me. I would be contacting him on a regular basis and you know when he is leaving, when he would be graduating from training, I would be at the graduation. you don’t have to sit with his father. you go as a loving mother with nothing to be ashamed of and you show support for the son you love. I would be sending gifts at birthdays and Christmas, grad. if they choose to ignore you and still cut you out then they are hard hearted narcs themselves or spoiled brats. Sorry. My dad was the worst for trying to turn us kids against our mother and he managed to sway my brother for a while but my brother never cut my mom out of his life. I cut my dad out of m life as did my older brother.
      Do not worry about what might not even happen and don’t wait for them to not contact you. Be the mother you want to be, you don’t need anyone’s permission for that.

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