I spent yesterday in the emergency room of the hospital, memo to self – Avoid at all costs going to the emergency room on a full moon!!
I should have known better, I took this picture Monday night, how beautiful the moon was! The picture just does not do it justice at all.
I was in so much pain, I had been to the chiropractor Monday and he was very surprised I was still in that kind of pain, but he checked and my ribs had shifted up under my shoulder blade again. He really gave me a working over, adjusted my neck and ribs and advised I see my doctor because he thought it could be my heart causing the trouble. I had an appointment booked with my GP the next day already so I went home.
All night I was in horrible pain that radiated to the center of my back and down my right arm. I didn’t want to go to the hospital and was so tired I went to bed and snuggled Stella. Before I went to bed I wrote Kris a goodbye letter just in case I didn’t make it through the night.
The next morning I was awake at 6, the mechanic was supposed to be here at 8 and I had done nothing as far as packing goes and I was in no less pain than the night before. I really didn’t trust myself to drive the 2 hours to my doctor and I knew he would just send me for tests anyway so I called the non emergency number for ambulance.
I explained that I have had two heart attacks in the past and was having shoulder pain but it was not an emergency. Well within 5 minutes I heard the sirens, not even enough time to do my makeup. LOL and wouldn’t you know a fire truck filled with “Fireman Calendar Candidates” showed up. I was surrounded by these gorgeous hunks of male specimens and the ambulance arrived with sirens blaring and two more guys were checking me out; (not in the way I had dreamed in my younger days, only to see if I was dying). The ambulance took me off the the hospital and that is when things got really crazy!
Every lunatic for 50 miles was in the hospital emergency room I am sure.
The end result after being poked by needles, x-rayed, CT scanned, EKG’d, ecg’d, and poked some more, and wheeled from room to room; I was released and told that i was not having a heart attack BUT I may need a pacemaker and to see my Cardiologist and GP.
They actually think I have pulled some muscle behind my shoulder blade. Go figure!
I think I am having anxiety attacks.
I thought I would give everyone an idea of where I live now, where whistler is and where I am going because most of you have no idea of what I am talking about.
The red circle at the top of the map is Clearwater, population 4,000. About the middle of the map is Kamloops, the closest big city and it is about a 2 hour drive. My son is presently in Whistler, population varies on the season and that is about 2 hours away from me where I am now, which is waaaaaaaaay down at the bottom of the map, let’s just say Vancouver because I am 10 minutes from downtown Vancouver basically. The X by “Google” is where my mom lives and that is about an hour and 1/2 from me now. The arrow is approximately where my grand daughter lives. So from where I am now it is about a 5 hour drive to my grand daughter.
To where I am going it takes about 9 hours driving from anywhere. There are only back roads from Whistler to Clearwater, it’s called the Duffy Lake Road, but it beats driving all the way back down to the coast and then driving back up north.
There are more remote place in BC that is for sure and there is a lot more north country, Clearwater is about right in the middle of BC.
Someone suggested I go after one of the two jobs I didn’t get because of Stella, I don’t know who it was now but I hope this map will explain why that isn’t possible. For one thing my son is leaving the area totally, so why would I move there? it is extremely expensive, and nowhere near anyone I know. The pay was not great but it was close to my son so I would have taken it.
It is 9 hours from where my son is moving now.
Someone suggested the first thing I have to do is get a job and that I should get someone to take care of Stella for awhile in order to take one of those two jobs. There is no one I know who can take Stella, my mother is not an option, there is no way on God’s green earth my mother would ever take care of my dog. My brother has two dogs, the sister of stella and a little terrier who rules the roost in the house, Nigel. Nigel goes nuts when the two big dogs are in the house and it is enough to drive a sane person crazy.
Stella is sensitive and my brother is very vocal and swears a lot. The minute she sees him she pees, without fail. It is the only person she does that with and every time she is at his house she goes up to his bedroom and takes a shit, without fail. Don’t know why, but it most definitely is not an option; beside my brother has to move in 5 months and he won’t find a place that will take 3 dogs, he also leaves his dogs in kennels and goes away and I will not have Stella kennelled. My son had a hard enough time finding a place to rent with one dog, let alone two. All my friends have dogs of their own and can’t take another one.
Even so, it is a mute point because had I taken either one of those jobs I would be out of work now anyway. I was working at jobs I shouldn’t be doing, trying to get by, obviously I did too much.
I can not do what I used to do. I have always worked, done whatever it took to get by and pay the bills. When I was a single mom with an office job I took a paper route to help pay for a new car when my old one broke down. I have always landscaped for extra cash. When I had my truck I worked 7 days a week and was back to work 2 days after being let out of the hospital for my first heart attack, possibly why I had heart failure a year later.
The problem is not that I am unwilling to work, the problem is I am unable to work and the government refuses to agree with my doctors and will not pay me disability or retrain me.
I don’t really have a good feeling about going to Clearwater, it is so far away from my mom and she is not young and my stepdad is not doing great lately but I have tried to make it here and run out of options. I am going to call the government again because it is ridiculous that I worked for 40 years, paid taxes, was a homeowner and business owner and now I can not even get disability.
Well, I have a lot to do today and it is half gone already. I will check in again in a few days. I hope everyone is doing well. Thank you for your prayers and well wishes. Keep the prayers and positive thoughts coming please.