Why I will never be ashamed for speaking out against my abusers

I felt like jumping up and yelling “YES!!!! YOU GO GIRLFRIEND!!!” while I fist pumped the air. Paula is someone I like to consider a good friend, who I have gotten to know through our blogs on surviving domestic abuse. She has helped me emotionally, financially and by the example she sets in the blogging world. She is a professional writer who has a way with words I can only hope to ever attain. I think the world of Paula and from reading her blog through the years I know how hard she has worked to get past the abuse and in the process make the journey easier for those who come behind her by lighting the way and removing stumbling stones.I have never once seen a post from her that was the least bit revengeful.
She, like me does not care enough about her ex’s to spend her life trying to destroy his.
I had to chuckle when I read the comment Paula received admonishing her for slandering their “friend” and Paula wasn’t even writing about the “friend”. In’t that so typical of a self centered sociopath/narcissist to think it is all about them.
In the 4 years I have read Paula’s blog I can remember one post about her first ex, the “friend”.
The person commenting telling of how the friend has people he meet Google his name so he can get his story out. Excuse me, how would any new friends of his even know about Paula if he didn’t tell them? That is what I wonder about James too. The only way anyone he know would find my blog about my experiences with him, would be if he gave them my blog address. Why on earth would he do that? because, there are always people out there who they can suck into doing their dirty work and feeling sorry for them. Some bleeding heart that thinks they will give this poor soul the love and support they need to change their ways and then they can pat themselves on the back and show the world how they saved this lost soul. Well, they are in for a rude awakening when he does the same thing to them, and who will they blame then? they won’t be able to say they weren’t warned. My God, the person even mentions his long rap sheet.
Why do people like Paula, Kim, Kelly, me and so many others write the blogs we do? even years after we have been away from the abuser; because we want to save as many people as we can from the same pain and torture we went through. Welfare expects me to live off of the donations from my blog which is impossible, at the most I get just over hundred dollars a month, sometimes more when someone is feeling especially generous. I am forever grateful for all the help I have gotten and say thank you daily for all the help I have gotten but I never started the blog to make money and when I said that to the welfare office the worker was genuinely taken back, she snorted and said, “Why would you put that much time and effort into something you aren’t getting paid to do?”
I laughed out loud at how genuinely puzzled she was. I said, “Believe it or not, some people do things out of the goodness of their hearts. I will never get rid of my blog, I will never stop speaking out about abuse, I will remove my donation button if it bothers you that much but I have helped hundreds of people with testimonials to prove it. I blog in hopes of saving others from suffering the same hell \i went through. I really feel bad for you, I could never do your job, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night.” and I hung up. Probably didn’t do my case with welfare any good but sometimes people are just too ignorant and shallow to ignore.
Anyway, Paula never backs down from confrontation because Paula never says anything stupid hahaha it’s the truth. More people should learn to get the facts before they start spouting off, because they really do make themselves look foolish.
I am immensely proud of how Paula handled this commenter. Well said my friend!! YOU ROCK!!!!

Love—Life—OM

The following comment was left on my FB page by a person in a homeless shelter in San Diego, California who knows and is comforting a “poor” homeless man who happens to be the same man who was my abuser when I was 18, more that 25 years ago.

“So what? Sociopaths always change. Why does it matter to you if the sociopath changes? Why not focus on your own changes and transformation?” – you

It is greatly concerning to me that you are labeling people, without having the necessary degree to do so, and further, causing someone suffering, for, apparently, hurting you almost 30 years ago. It seems you are hiding behind righteousness, and while i would love to believe that you are sincere, anyone that can continue to harm an already mentally-challenged individual with continuous libel on the Internet is NOT enlightened in the least. While i support you…

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3 thoughts on “Why I will never be ashamed for speaking out against my abusers

  1. I write my story because it is my story. My life. Period. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed the events happened to me and I can write about it all I want. That type of thinking irritates me. Who is anyone to tell anyone they can’t write about their experiences. Great post. I enjoyed the read.

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  2. RIGHT ON! My experience with a sociopath is unique on this blog since instead of an ex-boyfriend in a direct relationship with me, it occurred in the form of an ex-sister-in-law who is a covert narcissist. When my daughter was diagnosed with cancer in 1989 this ex-in-law immediately exploited the major medical crises to her own selfish financial gain. She immediately divorced my brother, and vanished out of the door with as much of her ex-mother and father-in laws money and land as she could get her sticky fingers on. It is too long and complicated of a story to tell in just one paragraph. It took me 9 years to see through her pathological lying because as an exceptional Liar with no conscience she intermixes tiny nuggets of the truth with her Lies and couples the Lies with her pathetic, weeping, wailing, poor me, poor me con act. When sociopaths gradually begin to build a bad reputation the information begins to circulate and the reason this abusive asshole is whining like a “poor, mistreated” victim is because he is running out of “sources” to “feed” his massive, narcisstic ego. It is truly astonishing that when sociopaths hear feed back about themselves they never turn the “inner eye” upon themselves and view it as a chance to make a “life changing” decision by understanding how their Lies and abuse harm and diminish the lives of real, geniune, and caring individuals (who become their victims).

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  3. Hi, he did it again, He called my Church implied I was unstable and out of control and they backed off from helping me now I am struggling have no support system and do not know where to begin again. It is a waste of time trying to explain to them all I have suffered at his hands and mind. No one understands and he is so nice. I want to run for my life but until he signs separation papers I can not even sign a lease at an apartment. I am so tired and my health is failing from all of the stress. I need help I have no one, and the one shelter is full plus he knows where all of them are within 2 hours of here. I need a place far away. But I can not afford a hotel while I fight this. I do not know where to turn. I feel so alone. He is loving this. Help me…e says the only way I will get away is dead. My number is xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. I am going off a pain pump for my back injury and Lupus just to get away but I have to stay near my doctor while doing this. I have asthma and I can not find one shelter that will take me with my health problems I am struggling. Will I die in this prison? Why did I wait so long? Dawn

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