Oscar Pistorius Finally Found Guilty Of Murder

To be honest, I never thought Oscar Pistorius would face the charge of murder, I didn’t have faith in the laws and society to see the truth. But the appeal court agreed with the prosecutors that the manslaughter conviction had been based on a misinterpretation of the law.

How his guilt could have ever been in doubt I don’t know but then I remember my own mother’s reaction to his sobbing in court, snot and all; declaring his innocence.

My mother had been surprised I thought he was guilty, after all he threw up he was so upset about what happened, and he sobbed so hard in court and well, he had reason to feel vulnerable what with not having his legs. When I had pointed out he had a history of abusing past girlfriends she had said, “Oh but that was years ago!” I wanted to believe my mother was the minority but the longer the court case went on it seemed she just may have been in the majority, with the opinion that at least that there wasn’t enough evidence to convict him of murder.

The story he told was that he woke up to a noise and thought his place had been broken into, grabbed his gun and heard noises coming from the bathroom. Believing the thief had locked himself in the bathroom Pistorious chose to shoot through the bathroom door; without calling out to see who was in there, even though his beloved girlfriend was not in the bed beside him when he woke and got out of bed.


This is a man who was supposed to be a trained in how to handle a gun and yet, did not wait to identify his victim before shooting blindly into a locked door? My father taught me how to handle a gun before I even reached my teens.

If someone broke into the house I was to get his gun from where he kept it stored and the ammunition from where IT was stored, load the gun, position myself in the bathtub (because from that location I could see straight down the hall into the living room and my back would be against the wall.) I was to sit there and wait until I could see who I was about to shoot so as not to shoot a family member. Luckily I never had to test my aim or nerve to shoot someone but I can tell you, I would NOT have shot into a locked bathroom door without knowing where my partner was first.

So typical of a narcissist/psychopath that he didn’t even think that anyone would think twice about his defense. What kind of coward would wake up to an empty bed and not immediately call out for his girlfriend to ensure her safety? Why on earth would he assume it was a thief locked in the bathroom?

Because it was all a lie, him and Reeva had argued that night as they did many times because of his jealousy. He got enraged and she was afraid for her life and locked herself in the bathroom thinking she would be safe in there. In a rage and knowing she had reached her fill; was going to leave him and he could not stand the thought of losing her to some other man, he got the gun he kept by his bed and shot through the door, killing her in cold blood.

Not all victims of a narcissist/psychopath are as “lucky” as I was, not everyone gets proof of an N’s extraordinary acting abilities.  But I will never forget James ability to switch on the tears at any given moment. Or go from sobbing about his ex’s death one minute to laughing about how it had always bothered her that he was with me. Even seeing it with my own eyes I doubted anyone could be as heartless as he is and still had moments of self doubt and thoughts that maybe I made him the way he was or deserved the way he treated me. It takes work to get over these toxic chameleons, don’t expect yourself to never have self doubt; you have to keep telling yourself the truth until it sinks in.



In typical narcissist fashion he put on quite a display of emotions and made himself out to be the victim.




As it is he has only served a 6th of his sentence and was out of prison and under house arrest when this new verdict came down, it will be interesting to see what kind of sentence he will get now. For sure it won’t be the punishment he deserves.

I am ecstatic that for once a narcissist didn’t “get away with murder” but it still drives home the fact that even when a narcissist commits cold blooded murder he has people who will believe his innocence, is it any wonder victims of domestic abuse are not taken seriously and their pleas for help go unanswered?

Once again I was reading up on domestic abuse and the figures blow my mind, one in 4 women in Canada and the US will suffer abuse in her life time, one in 3 worldwide. Schizophrenia affects .04 % of the population and we hear about it all the time, yet it is estimated that 4% (I think a very low estimate) of the population are narcissists. Anorexia is said to be epidemic at 3.40 % of the population being affected. Yet we hardly ever hear about narcissists, there are no support groups or awareness campaigns about the Anti-Social disordered living among us. No one is teaching our girls how to protect themselves and recognize the signs of a toxic abusive soul sucker.

In the video below people who knew Reeva speak about who she was and the relationship she had with Pistorious; it could have been the story of anyone of the victims who have visited this blog, the immediate attraction, the whirlwind romance, he couldn’t get enough of her or do enough for her. Their relationship was described as “like something out of a movie”. Unfortunately the people who tell her story still believe that love was the basis of the relationship when love had nothing to do with it, Pistorious wanted to own Reeva, control her, and keep her all to himself, she was a possession to him; it had nothing to do with love.

Again it is proven that we have a long way to go in raising awareness about narcissists and domestic abuse and the need to educate victims, law enforcement, the courts and society in general. Don’t ever think your voice doesn’t make a difference, that one person can not create change and make a positive difference, or save lives. As victims unite around the globe, each speaking out about their experiences, there is a chorus rising up, getting louder and louder………eventually it will be so loud it can not be ignored.

I want to thank everyone who speaks out and tells their story on this blog, every time someone shares their story it validates my story; it is the combined effort of everyone here that makes the difference to victims looking for answers. I know whenever I was filled with self doubt I would read the comments on my blog and know that I could not be crazy and making it up, not if everyone had the same story as me. One person might be able to make up a wild story but there is no way hundreds of crazy, psycho bitches could all come up with the exact same experiences just by chance.

Never be silenced again!! United we are strong and through our combined voices we WILL end domestic abuse!



19 thoughts on “Oscar Pistorius Finally Found Guilty Of Murder

  1. cjhouser

    Right on Carrie!!! I am now trying to educate my ex husband’s family on this physo maniac..he is deleting family members off his face book because they are friends with me and invited me to thanksgiving dinner, he is giving some of his children the silent treatment…after being around the extended members and hearing stories about him I have validated my reasons for divorcing…this man is sick! Why is he so concerned who stays friends with me. We have had no since February. The answer is now they know my side of the story and he can’t bull shit them any more…keep preaching Carrie.. God is on our side….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      CJ, I had to laugh when I read your comment. So petty, so high school, so typical of a narcissist. All he is doing is proving how sick he is. “You can fool some of the people some of the time but you can’t fool all the people all of the time.” They really do short change the victim, they think they are so powerful they can destroy the victim but they don’t know anything about strength and resilience because they are so weak themselves. They expect the victim to be a trembling mass of emotional goo forever more and envision themselves riding off into the sunset adored by all. But we rise from the ashes, we are not an empty shell, we have a soul and we do’t change with the wind and people see our authentic goodness and that pisses the narcissist off to no end. He may try by he can never bring us down to his level. He has to wallow in the quagmire of toxic waste he creates for himself, all by himself.
      Big hugs to you Jean. You go girl!!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Nancy Sharp

    Carrie, Thankyou for sharing this inspiring story about reeva. It so reminded me , gave me clarity, of the true colors of a toxic narcissists camillian colors. She reminds me of my daughter, and I will pass this onto her, as her future choices that she makes now, are very important. I’m hoping this video , I know this video will inspire her. As she is graduating from UC Berkeley and she has impacted people compassionately in the same way. Thankyou, for being Reevas voice so that she lives on. Nancy sharp

    Sent from my iPhone

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      Nancy, it is my honor to speak up for those who can’t speak for themselves; hopefully it saves lives. Reeva did the thing that so many victims of abuse do; she locked herself in the bathroom hoping she would be safe. In my saety plan download I tell women to not run to the bathroom if they have any other option.


  3. Momof2

    I have heard plenty of stories about people and their guns. They think there is a intruder in their home so they shoot them turning out to be their own children or partner. The reason why I don’t have a gun but in some cases it’s done with intent than with stupidity because they knew who it was and then pretend it was an accident.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      Momof2, You make a very good point. In Canada, in order to purchase a gun you have to have taken training on firearms. I was raised with respect for guns and taught how to use one safely and still choose to not have one in my home because I am not confident I could shoot someone so what is the point. My dad used to say never point a gun unless you are prepared to use it or they will get it away from you and use it on you.
      If someone is intent on killing you there are a lot of ways they can accomplish it without a gun.
      Thanks for your input.


  4. Pingback: Why I don’t own a gun | My World

  5. Joyce M. Short

    Reeva Steenkamp suffered from a Betrayal Bond, as did many of us who were love bombed by psychopaths. The best lesson society can learn from her circumstance is the recognition of what a betrayal bond actually is, how it affects us, and why we actually remain in toxic relationships.


    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      Joyce, you are so right thanks for your input. I am sure no woman who is murdered thought it would really happen. I know I certainly didn’t, as much as I suspected he was behind my brake line being severed 3 times and I would get that sick feeling in my gut at times and I did fear him I still did not believe he could really do it. Or more accurately, I kept thinking, “Don’t be paranoid, you are letting your imagination get the better of you.” It is easier to believe you are crazy and paranoid than believe the man you love could kill you. And he is telling you that you are crazy and paranoid and if the victim gets up the courage to tell someone that they think their partner is going to kill them they aren’t believed. People don’t want to hear it, they will tell you that it is all in your head, they look at you like you are crazy and they will literally turn away or change the subject. So the victim learns to keep quiet out of fear of sounding crazy.
      I am so grateful I had his son and sister live with us and have them witness his abuse and bizarre behavior. Had his sister not told me she feared for my life I would not have left and \I am sure I would not be here now.


      1. Joyce M. Short

        It’s interesting that both you and Donna Anderson raised a similar point today on which my response is identical….. cognitive illusion.

        We respond instinctually with cognitive illusion to any threat of harm. It’s what enables us to march silently to the hangman’s noose, thinking a reprieve will surely come our way. It’s why we ignore the abandoned bag that someone threw under the subway seat.

        In order for society to be protected from sociopaths, they first need to recognize what a sociopath is and the likelihood they’ll encounter one. Next they’ll need to assimilate the concept that it’s better to be embarrassed because they’re wrong than dead because they’re right.

        Society generally misunderstands what a sociopath is. It’s a person without a conscience. How they behave may not be ghoulish. But they have the capacity for cruelty. Just because they may not dice you up and store your remains in the refrigerator doesn’t mean they aren’t cruel.

        We need to alert people that they must override cognitive illusion when someone is harmful to them or to others. My interest in implementing laws on sexual assault by fraud is to reframe society’s concept of previously ignored maliciousness and remove it from the realm of cognitive illusion.


  6. Danielle

    Wow! I’m so glad I found your blog. I believe it will help me heal and move forward. I don’t like to keep talking about or obsessing over things because I believe that keeps it alive but during my weak moments I need to be reassured that cutting my narc off is what’s best. And for me seeking similiar situations and solutions helps. I remember early on in my ten year marriage he gave me a black eye. His mom called to confirm my attendance at an event coming up. I told her I would not be attending due to a black eye. Her reply was awe it should be cleared up by then. I was floored. I didn’t realize his family wasn’t new to his behavior. He had them thinking all his past relationships were ‘crazy’ including me. The only difference is we were married. His mom knew everything going on in our marriage because he made a mockery of it to her and others. Nothing was sacred between us. He talked about it repeatedly to all who would listen. He’d say “I got witnesses”. To this day he repeatedly says “You’re the only person I slept with in 13 years and you put me out?!”…like that mean something. Forget all the abuse. Mind you he was caught in a prostitution sting while we were married and I wouldn’t known if I hadn’t seen his photo in the paper. When he’d walk in the house at 4a he’d call his mom and laugh about it because I was angry. When I got and order of protection to have him removed from my home he thanked me and told me he wasn’t angry. At the time I was surprised and believed him but soon realized it was all a game of confirmation to his family and friends that I was indeed crazy for putting him out for “nothing “. After all he’s done for me. All the money he spent. Mind you it’a rare he works a full week due to alcoholism and my income is double his. He now continuously says he “wants a divorce and will never live with me again” like I haven’t realized we are over. I’ve already made up my mind that once the papers are finalized he will be cut cold turkey because that is the only way I will have peace.



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