To be honest, I never thought Oscar Pistorius would face the charge of murder, I didn’t have faith in the laws and society to see the truth. But the appeal court agreed with the prosecutors that the manslaughter conviction had been based on a misinterpretation of the law.
How his guilt could have ever been in doubt I don’t know but then I remember my own mother’s reaction to his sobbing in court, snot and all; declaring his innocence.
My mother had been surprised I thought he was guilty, after all he threw up he was so upset about what happened, and he sobbed so hard in court and well, he had reason to feel vulnerable what with not having his legs. When I had pointed out he had a history of abusing past girlfriends she had said, “Oh but that was years ago!” I wanted to believe my mother was the minority but the longer the court case went on it seemed she just may have been in the majority, with the opinion that at least that there wasn’t enough evidence to convict him of murder.
The story he told was that he woke up to a noise and thought his place had been broken into, grabbed his gun and heard noises coming from the bathroom. Believing the thief had locked himself in the bathroom Pistorious chose to shoot through the bathroom door; without calling out to see who was in there, even though his beloved girlfriend was not in the bed beside him when he woke and got out of bed.
This is a man who was supposed to be a trained in how to handle a gun and yet, did not wait to identify his victim before shooting blindly into a locked door? My father taught me how to handle a gun before I even reached my teens.
If someone broke into the house I was to get his gun from where he kept it stored and the ammunition from where IT was stored, load the gun, position myself in the bathtub (because from that location I could see straight down the hall into the living room and my back would be against the wall.) I was to sit there and wait until I could see who I was about to shoot so as not to shoot a family member. Luckily I never had to test my aim or nerve to shoot someone but I can tell you, I would NOT have shot into a locked bathroom door without knowing where my partner was first.
So typical of a narcissist/psychopath that he didn’t even think that anyone would think twice about his defense. What kind of coward would wake up to an empty bed and not immediately call out for his girlfriend to ensure her safety? Why on earth would he assume it was a thief locked in the bathroom?
Because it was all a lie, him and Reeva had argued that night as they did many times because of his jealousy. He got enraged and she was afraid for her life and locked herself in the bathroom thinking she would be safe in there. In a rage and knowing she had reached her fill; was going to leave him and he could not stand the thought of losing her to some other man, he got the gun he kept by his bed and shot through the door, killing her in cold blood.
Not all victims of a narcissist/psychopath are as “lucky” as I was, not everyone gets proof of an N’s extraordinary acting abilities. But I will never forget James ability to switch on the tears at any given moment. Or go from sobbing about his ex’s death one minute to laughing about how it had always bothered her that he was with me. Even seeing it with my own eyes I doubted anyone could be as heartless as he is and still had moments of self doubt and thoughts that maybe I made him the way he was or deserved the way he treated me. It takes work to get over these toxic chameleons, don’t expect yourself to never have self doubt; you have to keep telling yourself the truth until it sinks in.
In typical narcissist fashion he put on quite a display of emotions and made himself out to be the victim.
As it is he has only served a 6th of his sentence and was out of prison and under house arrest when this new verdict came down, it will be interesting to see what kind of sentence he will get now. For sure it won’t be the punishment he deserves.
I am ecstatic that for once a narcissist didn’t “get away with murder” but it still drives home the fact that even when a narcissist commits cold blooded murder he has people who will believe his innocence, is it any wonder victims of domestic abuse are not taken seriously and their pleas for help go unanswered?
Once again I was reading up on domestic abuse and the figures blow my mind, one in 4 women in Canada and the US will suffer abuse in her life time, one in 3 worldwide. Schizophrenia affects .04 % of the population and we hear about it all the time, yet it is estimated that 4% (I think a very low estimate) of the population are narcissists. Anorexia is said to be epidemic at 3.40 % of the population being affected. Yet we hardly ever hear about narcissists, there are no support groups or awareness campaigns about the Anti-Social disordered living among us. No one is teaching our girls how to protect themselves and recognize the signs of a toxic abusive soul sucker.
In the video below people who knew Reeva speak about who she was and the relationship she had with Pistorious; it could have been the story of anyone of the victims who have visited this blog, the immediate attraction, the whirlwind romance, he couldn’t get enough of her or do enough for her. Their relationship was described as “like something out of a movie”. Unfortunately the people who tell her story still believe that love was the basis of the relationship when love had nothing to do with it, Pistorious wanted to own Reeva, control her, and keep her all to himself, she was a possession to him; it had nothing to do with love.
Again it is proven that we have a long way to go in raising awareness about narcissists and domestic abuse and the need to educate victims, law enforcement, the courts and society in general. Don’t ever think your voice doesn’t make a difference, that one person can not create change and make a positive difference, or save lives. As victims unite around the globe, each speaking out about their experiences, there is a chorus rising up, getting louder and louder………eventually it will be so loud it can not be ignored.
I want to thank everyone who speaks out and tells their story on this blog, every time someone shares their story it validates my story; it is the combined effort of everyone here that makes the difference to victims looking for answers. I know whenever I was filled with self doubt I would read the comments on my blog and know that I could not be crazy and making it up, not if everyone had the same story as me. One person might be able to make up a wild story but there is no way hundreds of crazy, psycho bitches could all come up with the exact same experiences just by chance.
Never be silenced again!! United we are strong and through our combined voices we WILL end domestic abuse!