What you should do…

I read an excellent article this morning and had to pass it along to all you who are still struggling with leaving or maintaining no contact.
I can not tell you how many times I fell off the “no contact wagon” or how many times I swore “this time it is truly over, I won’t go back” only to get a call from him a few days later and fall into his arms again full of hope and thoughts of “Maybe this time he means it, maybe the light finally went on for him and he has realized how much I love him and he loves me.” I can’t count how many times friends shook their heads when they found out I had gone back or stayed or they just laughed when I said I was done with him.
Everyone has the answer and no one seems to understand the control he has over you, not even you. All you can do is keep educating yourself, keep self counseling, keep trying to stay no contact. If you fall off the wagon, don’t beat yourself up, just get back on and try again. You CAN do this, you HAVE to do this if you ever want to find peace and happiness. How do I know? because I have been there. The longer you are in contact with him the more you lose, financially, emotionally and mentally. You. Can. Do. This. One. Day. At. A. Time.
Source: What you should do…

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6 Replies to “What you should do…”

  1. I nearly got sucked back again recently, I can’t believe it that I nearly fell for it again! 😦
    4 months of healing and moving on ruined 😦
    Went no contact again and hope to god that next time if he contacts me again with his apologies and declarations of love I’ll be strong and I’ll just ignore him!

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  2. I have no fear about going back again. But she is so evil that I have to remind myself and restart the clock in regards to contact for our kids. I keep thinking she’ll be nice and have moved on. But no. She’s as evil as she has ever been.
    I read an article showing I shouldn’t be wanting the kids to call while with her and trying not to let her call when with me as it still becomes a triangulation problem still.
    What’s worse is the legal system has no concern or care as to how toxic these people are or how much they lie.
    I wish you all better luck than me as I can’t get her out of our lives.

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  3. I had actually escaped for over 1 year no contact with anyone then I get a call from a policeman who knew my residence saying I needed to call my granddaughter . she begged me to come back she needed me she was very sick . thinking I was strong enough to keep him at arms length so to speak I moved back home only to find out all a she wanted was what little land and trailor I had after spending all my social security on her and my grandbabies she up and left me high and dry . I ended up sleeping in my car . it left me at the mercy of the very thing I left my abuser . playing the the
    Rescuer he had my utilities turned on but in his name then when his truck broke down he took my car which broke down now I’m stuck and at his mercy .To make the story short sometimes you have to break from all your family . Never go back it us never worth it .

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  4. If you truly want to be free, time is your biggest ally. 5 Years out, on the whole life is good, but recently i found out my cancer metastasized to my bones.

    I hardly think about psycho boy that much anymore. Having kept him blocked on Facebook for years, recently I was curious enough to look to see if he still had his OW photo op posted. No, it was gone, and his page was largely blank with only a handful of friends. Then I blocked him again.

    When I think of him at all, I think about how boring and shallow he is. Well, he never got a reaction from me on his photo op which is what I think he was hoping for! LOL.

    He could die tomorrow, I wouldn’t and couldn’t care less! I took up with my teenage sweetheart again, and except for my current problem of the cancer, we’re doing well. He’s ten times the man that psycho boy was. Always kind, patient and generous with me. We go together like peas and carrots as Forrest Gump would say.

    As for psycho boy, I think he’s probably bored stiff, but his OW gave him her land, home, properties, business, and I’m sure full financial enumeration to keep him…so whatever! I don’t care, and I don’t waste my time worrying about it. As victims go, I fared pretty good on the whole. Certainly, I fared much better than his OW. Good luck and best wishes to all you still struggling! Hang in there. It does get better!

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